AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode 25 · 1 year ago

Stevie B Steps 5 & 6 - Shame Kills @ Spread The Word Group 2020

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Ho You body, My name is Steve: VI'mrecovering alcoholic and Emember the golden text group in Dinny Beach,Florida itdoniht. We have a lot of material tocover, I'm very excited against four folks, and so it's going to be in a Gr. It'sgoing to be Wen, O. Definitely try to cross thro Ala, t ninet, step five andsix. So that's very exciting and we're going to be talking about integrity, trust, love, nobody get choosed up in the front rowhere, Love Tii, said: Love, Amor. Okay, May I do some translatingwith my brothers over there and Noo. This is not a lost group isnot last Col and we're also going to talk about for step. Six we're going totalk about willingness, say willingness yeah. So we got an talk about integrityand trust and the love and willingness. Okay, yeah it's gonna, be O ofty goaland we're alcoholic, so we'll probably get just through the serenty fer. My good friend Rop along bro Pe sorry,almost brokannim is here from New York, brokenstill Queens Queens in the house. We saw it up together, twenty seven, how many years you got N,now, Er, twenty seven years, twsnd and sixty ears, we sovered up together intwenty six years ago: Rowe Soat! U, together twenty six years, I had sevenyears, I relaughed rob, didn't and so he's here is here tonightvisiting from New York and as rum always does where, whenever he travels,he hits like almost a meeting an day. Very, very cool. Oh Ja, he's amotorcyco Laz toes e Holy Gay, so we want to get with them an othe guy inthe back. So why such? Why so much material? Arewe going to cover tonight because we've been speaking for three weeks onstep? Four and five one of the weeks was medalions and which was great and wehad all the beautiful medalans, so it really didn't get to hit on it too much.But tonight we're going to talk about jumping that stuff, moving on andgetting right into six. So last week we spoke about stepborn five, and- andthis is not a test, but just to ask that anyone do step five since lastweek, then anyone actually physically sharing with this pomso around byminister since Le Okay. Nobody, but I wanted to share you- just do it where,on okay, just June get fo get out there get a sponsor. MyMat just got a great sponsor by the name of man and and men. You take themto a quick. You take them to a direct get in there and do the things that youdoing and pass on what you've been so frealy given, and I know you know howto do that. So I'm certainly not telling you how to do that see. Whywould we want to carry the garbage in our past from our past into our present?We don't right. We want to feel free. We want to have that new freedom andthe new happens without myl. We want to have new freedom and I new happiness.So, in order to do that in order to get to a place where we don't regret thepast nor wish to shut the door on it, we have to share it with another humanbeing in Gode. Otherwise, we're going to feel like with the dirties, HeyKenny, this seats all over cane. What I anybody got to see Yo over here for mygood friend Kenny. We got hem over here right next to John. We got this so manyseats here guys nobody needs to be staying it come on. We got all theseseats. Riokenny's Trod County, Kay, Dow...

Try County Ka Right Therekani. I don'tthink I will ever get over listening to you talk to the main commissioners ofthe state and tell them that you felt that you needed to have approval to gonorth for school divand. I don't think I will ever forget that. Okay, I will never forgetthat as long as I live, that was. Let me tell you something you have the gunsof God, which is what Kinnydin we wer sitting in front of a board today. Ican't eally tell you what type of board is what I'l break in is avinimity I'mnot going to, but we were sitting in front of a very impressive scary board and and Kenny was appealing to thatboard to be able to travel to other counties, and I was trembling there and I'd neverbeen in fromt, because the people that went before us they said to the people. Well we'regoing to revisit this in ttwenty forty, I mean I'm on man petition, but thatseemed like a lot of years passed nou, so I kind of went up there liketrembling and and Kenny did wasn't Chermanbecause Kenny had his eye on God. I had hi. I had my eyes on the commissioners, but he was looking past. Thecommissioners and Kenny said in his speech that one of the reasons I gibeycame out. I thought I was in a movie. He said a D and Commissioner, I alsowant to let you go. I've been recently certified for Scubar, diving andsometimes the water is just better up the coast. He Seid I to the same people that told the peoplebefore us will we visit this in twenty years, but God does what God does in got andhe got it granted and he could go scoopi do at Ery wonce an I god, a guy that can't swim. APROPIBL scroin ou of the COS as a GOS story right there. We don'tbelieve in Olmighty right there, so the fish step is not anything thatyou want to hold up on. Okay, I believe the forcestep can be written in theweekend. Some people believe the forestet can be written and nine I'veseen people do their fourth and fifthstep in a car ride fromMinneapolis to Wisconsin. I've seen him now the entirestep that I've seen thim doing with one of the most famous sponsors in theUnited States, clansin e sponsors on five hundred people over the last Abovfifty nine years of his soriety and he's done FIS steps with people fromstate to state. So there is no right way to do it. Anyone that tells you youneed to spend months on a fourthstep writing months of stuff down at' S.just not the wayt was done now. I know that's the way. We do it and I'm noteven saying it's wrong. If that's the way you DOITG, I'm not saying that'swrong, I'm saying you may want to get your stuff out immediately. You may beso burdened by the things you've done it. I just Gon Na go quickly, ovr whatwe talk about less tha, we less Wi, fear resentmence sexual harms, causedothers and harms cause others. You may be so burdened on what you've done inthe past thate. You just want to get that right. Mister Don! You may justwant just get that Movon. Why carry there's nobody perfect on the planningon this planet? Now, there's nobody perfect so that meas everybody hasfallen short of the glory of this...

...program and falling show o the groryGod, including your sponsors, including the priest of the Minister of therabbit you're speaking to they have fallen short trust me. So we have an opportunity to unload ourburden. What a cute dog did is what kind of dog is that Wer just Tali Abou dogs in the way heso I so letm just give you a little Lito a little bit of my spirit. Instrinmy sponsor was a very serious guy is a very serious guy. I had three sponsorsin my life, one of them a Myron is already in heaven he's the Loksmithfrom Broward County made. God dress his soul. He just died with almost fortyyears of sobriety, and my two sponsors right now are Russell spats from Miamiand Jerry Baer that currently lives in Tennessee. These are serious men. Theybelieve in serious visstems. Every sponsor I, this is just a little side.No tust doesn't mean anything MI. Just give you a little. Every sponsor ive ye hads been Jews. I Beiev Tha Jews. Don't pull punches, so I'm geting in Nand I'm like thisn't just tell me the truth right and they always do whetheryo like it or not, and so my sponsored Jerry Bear. He said I want to fly outto California. You know we were looving together. He said I want to flyod toCalifornia and you're going to have an amazing experience being a Christianguy. He said he was going to take me. Those Jewsh whowas, going to take me upto the mountain in California and ther this incredible cross in the radwoodforest on top of the mountain, and he was going to take me. We were going todo it underneath the cross. Well, I want to tell you: none of that happened,iy didn't get close to the cross and we never got under the cross when nevergot near the Cross and on the way of the Cross. He said without going- andyou know I just traveled seven hours from Florida to to San Francisco, butwe just e just ran out of steam and he said, but I'm what I'm going to do, isI'm going to take you to the Pacific Coast highway, which is very specialyou've, never seen in that's the highway along the Pasici coast, whereyou get to see the beautiful water and they hade the Clis on Erting, verybeautiful, but as we were going, I realized. Did I didnt? No clis here andit looks like there's restutants. He goes well with you're right we're goingin the wrong direction, so we never got to the Pacific coast, so we didn't getto the Cross and we didn't get to the Pacific coaston our way in the Rome diwect direction. I don't know how Ma back, probably backthen, twenty years ago they maybe didn't, have the little compass and wewere supposed to be going west, but we went east no coast, so he said pull over and Isaid but jarry. This is a rest, stop andhe goes Yo poll and so in the middleof one of those little towns in in like country area, we pulled over like nextto a like, a country store and where therewas trucks and and tourst and to me it seemed like a very oddplace. Odo The FISTH EP, it incant seemed like there was a lot ofseclusion and there wasn't. He were right in the middle of a ten foot pieceof grass where people were walking their dogs. He put and put the chairthen, and I was looking at my spons and I was thinking I'm about to tell mydeepest dark as secrets here. You know right here like right in the middle of cracker bar and but that's it I mean. Listen, God knowswhat he's Dowith. Maybe I needed to not think I was so special that I needed tobe brought up on top of a mountain under across. Maybe what I needed in myfith step was to do it on a ten foot piece of grass in front of a countrystore in the middle of we don't know where we were a LO line, think whichsmells like Cun, and so as I'm doing my fish step and I'mtelling my deepest darkest sexual secrets in my entire world, I seen thisone woman. She must have clinned by us...

...like twenty seven Timeo. She wanted all the different parts ofmy FIS tat. She wanted to take it with her her puppy, and you know what Ifound out it just wasn't that serious. For me, I'm not saying yours is TAT,ses. What I thought was my deepest darkest secrets really could be told atAresta it wasn't. It doesn't need to be the perfect fistem. It just needs to beApis. No, I'm not saying that devolves everything right there in that. In thatpublic area we did three places in our in the fishtep. We went to a private woods. That said no trustpassing and he told mejump the fence, so we did it in there and then we did wind up in a spiritualplace in a little river bag. That was spiritual and and that's Whyr, I'm onGong to share the La the next part of my Fisttin with you with what I said.But what I want to say is eveything was it was amazing, even though reststopwas amazing, when we jumped the fence, it was amazing and- and the last part,when I told Hem, my deepest darkest was amazing. Why was it all amazing becauseI needed to get it out? You need to get it out. You need to get this stuff out, we'retalking about integrity. The only thing that's going to count in your fifthstep is integrity. What is Integrity Truth Integrity is doing truthwul, no one'swatching that's integrity, doing the right thing when no one'swatching that's integrity. NO ONE CRATES! You on your fifth step.RAISEYOUR INTERIOU had the best pissed up in here. Nobody cares I'll. Tell you who didn't have a goodfitstep, raise your hand and you ere sover. Before and now you just comingback you never goon. FISS OP, see that's othy reason. That's only thin. Ithat that's the only thing right there, but noody cases. If you had the bestyou just didn't, do good yous, Sir Patrik, you could have told it all andthen, if you got a new sin that comes in our newfe fix, icarity call Ou, Yo,sponso Gu, listen, I'm sitting all over the place. I need to share this so that you're not carryng new burdens,because what kills an alcoholic oguydoing over there tell menpoting orsomething won, kills an alcoholic faster thaneven resented. I know to Presenat hes the number offender, sof SAR secretsand shame. Shame kills. Alkies shame kills attics.I know young man that was sober two years. He looked like a bronze, Godwalk out of a Malk out of a magazine and he contacted a treatable disease,not turable, but totally treatable. He contacted a treaale disease and becausehe was shameful about it, he took a shot and killed him. Then, in twentyfour years old he's gone from shame where he could have came to te as a SALena what it could have been an incredible testament thin. They don'twant. When I was out there, I use some neals and stuff, and now I have this-this treatable disease- It's not cure aboutITUs Tra on I wanct. You know you can still recover right now. He coun be aspontsperson for this treatable disease. Instead of instead of a story, Yo coalbe a testimony but Shen kille them and shame kids. So I'm not willing to go down. Thet G,I got enouth mental on as Whatiu Shane. I got T I a O, put out. Shame like hatenough stuff without walking around with the tot of Shane, need to get thatstuff out, and that's really what we're going to talk abouther right now, Sotiwould come out getting that stuff out in Tempera and and why any Christiayou're with us now right you've crossed over into the into the sweet sponkyernout your you were here now aren', you, you ready here now. Okay, ofor tonightto Natualy is Comu to support me, he's Goin on ande enemy lines. We get to enme lines, rhether, we got Chris and Russell fromtheur CODEC, anamas there's. This is how they started the program. SPINDS,that's Howe, I pinas they goingna bring it back totheir their own pon tomorrow...

...to the mothership tomorrow. whatthey were doing so. The reason that this step is thereason that Thi step right round o the will tale. The reason that this step isnot share with your sponsor doesn't say, share with you sponsor, and it doesn'talso, it doesn't also just say, share with God the reason it says that we share thiswith another human being, and God is for this specific reason. I'm goingtell you right now we were done with my fith step and, and my sponsor said, didyou leave anything out and I said no and- and he said just take a moment,did you leave anything out? I said well, I was I'm still partake in this onebehavior and on't think it's a big deal and he told me that's not a big deal unless you want to drink again and it'salso illegal tow this as something I was going toomit from my fisstep, because I figured I was just going to bring into God noBingteo idealthe Ou. Really, don't don't you not to use your minds likeWat, something you know really great because it wasn't, but it was somethingI shouldn't have been doing when I share with my sponsor. He knew it wassomething I should have been doing when I share it with my brain. My brain saidthis is fine, just bring it to God. It's not a big deal. That's why we havethe three person the holy trinity watching us in the FISTEP. We have oursponsor or Avbia pastor a minister someof that we really trust, becausethat's the other half of the principl behind the step is trust, and then webring it to God between the three people that are there sponsor gone, andyou you're going ta you're going to have an amazing is per a men N, that'sEnand and Wehe. What is a men Mans, an AA NED? We believe in we agree with God.I toes all mean we really got so wee. Geting Ei see some of the Bob Crowsdnfit over there all right. So so now we're going to go.We're going to talk about love, Eregonto talk about log and in some ofyou and some of us not some of you. Some of US have confused love with allthe wrong places. Tomorrow is what happening the love holiday right. It's the loveholiday and I want to read you a little bitabout love and I wanted to see the see there to see ifthis is anything that you're doing right now,when you, when you think e love and I'm Taling, my love for you, roommates, I'm talking about lovefy, your parents,I'm talking about lovefy, an children, I'm talking about love for your yourfiance, your husband, your wife. My parents have been married. Fifty oneyears, Sometimes Tong, NOI'm Ju, saying sometimes you FIDYouguy a is Agreatn Das, ready my dad left a month for an hour. He Saidi meanhe didn't go anywhere, he just left, but he didn't goe still in the LMDW.You Ong, I don't know whut, I'm Jon, but let me tell you why he didn't leave. This is what First Corinthians says,and this is what they were reading when they were writing the big book, one onthe one of the chapters it says, love never gives um remember if you're in a divorce, when Itold Mo when you think about the love that you have now wic, Ol Bout, thelove your parents to love your children,...

Tho love. Your part is not just onelove, there's three lowes and the love for your wife and your husband. That'sjust one love! That's that's one Lon, but there's other lone. The brotherlylove. Fela love is a Gabe Lod on conditional love and then there's a lotof love, which some of you have definitely honed your skills in thatarea. Tas called Heros Alov, but W we're just talkg about love right now. Love never gives up. Love cares more from others, then. Soyou guys are a perfect example of that love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love wants. What it has love doesn't Strut, it doesn't have swelled head, Lome doesn't force itself on others,love isn't always me. First whate you going. What are you doing? Shit down whyis that are you Olthe Fanis too muchfor you, thenmhyou guys just tink, amongt yourself, let's get back to the to love, plaselove doesn't fly off. The handle. Love doesn't keep a record of rolingdoings. What someone ask for forgiveness andlove, they forgive and they don't keep a record of Rome doing as love love doesn't make others Groppel love doesn't take pleasures in people'ssorrows. Love puts up with anything trust, God always always look for thebest. Never look back, keep going to the end, O Beautiful, as I didn't giveyou the traditional love that you heard before love, never fails in all that,because I wanted to give you a different love tonight. This is themessage this is called the message. Anyone can read the message. Any faithcan read the messags es open to all things. andwhatwhy. Would I bring emlove tonight on the sixth ten I'll, tell you, what love is the exactopposite of our defects and Tammy asked me to do this timin.This grup ask me to do this and he said we really. You just finished the stepseries on Tuesday night. Please don't do the same exact thing you just didn'tand I don't want to do the same. I want to do something different. I want us toopen up our minds. Alcoholics anonymous is just a spiritual kindergarten, butwhile we're in kindergarten, we can do more than just figurepaint. We don't have to leave the program wecan. We can enhance the program we're already in okay. So let's put away ourfiger paints and pick up our brushes and let's start talking about somethings that are tep US excited about staying, obviously rob wit. Twentyseven years, O twenty six years, has figured out a way to be excited aboutwhat he's doing traveling going to different meetings. My mother wit fortyfour years she's found the ways to be excited in the program. My Dad antwenty seven years this month next next month, so t next month. Twenty sevenyears this year is excited about doing new things, because you got to keepyourself in an excited mode. So when it comes to love- and it comes to defectsthey're on the exact opposite of the spectrum, tonight, we're going to talkabout being entirely ready to have God, remove your defects of character,Ardeva being entirely ready to have God remove our defects, ive character andthe big Bok Sorr, the tw and twelve said. This is a step that separates themen from the boys and the women from the girls, the sixth tep, if not done right will hove d you useagain,...

...you know, you know what haven berelapse after seven years, not a thorough six and seven step. You knowwhat had shared Jill Relapse afterwards, a eleven years, six and a half years,the same thing, a non effective, sixth and sevens that six and seven are sobig that your defects, ove character, will not only take you out, but theyactually could make you commit sose! That's how big, six and seven are, andwe glance over the e Nens like who I'm praying for patience and- and I drivethe peed limit to try to see if God anbe patience. That is not enough: driving the Speedlindi Ecause, yoursponsord told you drive hi speed limit. It's not going to save your life, Imean less. You drive super fast and Tay, save your life like Cherry trives,incredibly ridiculous and fas, but Wewe're going to the creator of theuniverse, to ask him to remove these defects of character that most of themhad a strength to begin with and if they didn't have a strength to beginwhat they will. Certainly have you drink ANUV, an sober there 're, so many people that I knowthat gamble themselves out of sobriety and sex themselves out of sobriety andline themselves out of sobriety and cheat the woot selms out of sobrietyand take steroids out ot to get the amount of sobriety me includind, allyour boter that I just said, and the God's size hol in me got deeperand deeper and deeper. My anger got more and more and more, and then nobodycould tell me anything and when nobody could tell you anything and the EGO isout of Control, you've edged God out with ego. The next thing you'll do isyou'll. Take the thing that works best and that's Olcohol. Alcohol will cure your defectivecharacter problem faster than any ofthe substance and then itil light of fireto it. Like a gasoline guest, you Kdon't want o Gess iand six years, a surbrise Bijabybroting wherre you going Ei should on Soo peaking about defectsof character. You guys can be Exibeaan B and SINC Yous, so sobriety after youleft rob at six years of spreaday. I was so full of the EFECTS ove characterthat I actually needed to take dro. Well, I actually needed to take a drink.That's how restless, irritable and discontent I had become without makingGod my center to the central fact of my life. He was not the central fact of mylife as a matter of fact, he was a distant relative in my life. I wouldget down on my knees in the morning and I would pray to God to keep me cleanSoer and then I wouldn't speak to thim till the very end of the night. The entire day I did whatever I wanted.I gave am alcohol in the morning and I thanked him adnight and, during the day,acted any way that I wanted and if that's it then you're notpracticing these principles and all your affairs I wasn't practicing theseprinciples in most of my affairs. A drink will be a welcome reprieve fromthe metalillness. So when it comes to step six, I'm veryvery serious about stepsiks, but the big book doesn't help us. This is aspecific case where we're going to need strong sponsorship. Why doesn't the bigbook help us I'll? Tell you why when we comes to the six tent, it's only a halfa paragraph, and you may make the same mistake. I May- and I think, like this,the fifth step is pages and pages right, Freddy. The fifth step is pages andpages. There's charged. There's Mr Brown. He sleeps aren MEA this charts. I get to the six step its like takethis book off the shelf. Have you skinped on any of the steps? Let's goon to seven.

He like Whal, probably doesn't thinkit's probably not that big of a deal. What do you think ha? Happenedin in thein the big voccal when it came to step six I'll, tell you what happened: theyfo they glo. That's what happened! Onehundred men of women that had recovered from the seemingly opal state of mindthat some of them drank in the nist fifteen years, accompaniethe big book a whole bunch of the originals drank, and they said you knowwhat we need to write another book quick and we need to do someelaboration on a step that is going to save in your life. But we only gave ita half a paagraph and they wote the twelve and twelve. So when it comes tohaving the twelve and twelve of the big book side by side, when you say ripthat is important to have both you need both and you need a sponsor. That knows thatdefective character will kill you and says you Han. This is we'R GOIN NA getto six stepet. Its only litt have a paragraphr theme, but ant Tay I's goingto be big and we're going to be working on this for the rest of your sobriety.Wait and then we got a twelve and twelve. Wealso have numbher boot called drop the rock and we're going to be working onthis for the rest of your live and Steve. When you were twenty five, youdidn't have the same defect. You have UNOU fifty two, so we're going to now at twenty fivewe're going to be working on pride and we're going to be working on Gego. WhenI came in in twenty five, my big ones were pride and EAGL, now their envy, jeus and other ones, ow, Whati, didhave, Indian jealousyback in twenty five. That's because I thought I was king in the world. I waswhy was I jealous to you? I was Ma you wure jealous of Mat, my chief defectivecharacter at twenty five e thirty one was pride. I was kin to him, king inthe world, when, when I saw that Titana thing, I'm like thats men now that I've been soer eighteen years and I'm and I'm over fifty now my one of my biggest things is: Ihave to be careful of comparison and comparison kills comparison kills. You know whycomparisons like this, you go in a marathon and you don't know whereanybody started and you don't know where anybody finished we met last time.Read Yeah, you don't know where anybodystarts and you don't even know, Wanyou fishes so you're riding the marathonyou're in thep start you running the Marat on your running the marathon andsomeone whizzes by you. You'R, like mother, US happend there that guy's older thanme e's, fatter than me Het's got no here and that guy just whizz rightfinaly. What am I doing wrong then? The next thing you know it you know is thata couple miles later you're wizing by him he turned out. He had just started another guy that dead, you just CASS byand you're like that, guy he's so slow he's, never going to finish and you'llsoon buy him next thing. You know he's alreadyfinished and he's Sitin Tei and he had ad great time and you got anotherfifteen miles ago. That's why we cannot compare along the journey because youdon't know where another person started and you don't know where another personfinishes. Some people start their first year, surprise, the Lord takes themhome and that was their whole race. Some people are LESSD, like my parentsto be in recovery, their whole lives. You don't know what time you have andyou don't know how much you're going to get done so, every day in our sobriety,we have to put forth a massimum effort. There is no coasting in Subrim, I don'tthink, and in this meaning I'm surrounded bypeople like longterm suvrited, young people that came in and in their teamsthat have now almost thirty years or more. It shows me this. This racecannot be calculated by comparison and it can't be compared by what youdrive or how you look or l have the...

Pant Youfitin them. Although tonightI'm I'm putting into some good Kas. But U, but that wasn't always the case.Okay, so you can't compare your insides with other people'soutsides and you can't compare your wallet with anybody else's or your bankaccount with anybode Elseis Wel. What's this your program with anybody else now what? If we use the big book AAs The tool that it is and in thefirst one hundred a sixty four pages cannot be refuted, and I'm not saying Iam I'm saying: Let's use us as our groundrules, here's the groundfos step, six, let's go to God now and let's make alist of the defects of character that we have. What ar in the pride, theanger, the pagils. These are the PATILS patces. Can you say pagels or Padl, sayPadet rob trying to say from Queens Paks Bet,fromye pat doesn't bete sounds like bakels when he says paggles on this pride, Ander Greed,Gluttony, Ante Lust and Slough patters. Okay, those are the seven Dade sincs.Those are the main topics, but in Beun they think those topis es many manydefects of character. My brother drew here that just picked up one year,which I'm so proud of an tonight iwant. To give an example of a personthat is completely working having God work on his defective character allyear for one year you got to hear in the story. This is an impressive story. For one year drew has been waiting forthis night to go to his homeroom in front of hismen to receive his one year Madein tonight and he had all planed and he alreadytold all his guys tonight, I'm going to the Westside Mentrom I' pick it up. Myone year wit dyan. It's either waiting all year for this. I've worked all YEUfor this and I'm going to be there tonight and his sponsor, which is me, asked him to come here tonight and I want you to know within sixseconds of that text. Not six minutes not like me t wouldvebeen six hours, I would have teen sending it set deleding in writingcrumbling it calling different people, how Dar him within six seconds, becausepride has been a serious problem in his life before and in any time it Kenwithin six seconds. He said to me no problem I'll, be at the Twelveh stephouse tonight. I love you now when you have God directing yourshow, when you have Doram God directing your life and one of the main things ishaving your sponsor in your life as being a representative of God of notnot of gone but as a person that is working with you through God, and yoursponsor askd you to do something were not all the time if excited about it,especially if you waine for a year for this night but drew is here tonight.You know what's happening right now in this exact meeting at this exact time,tried is being crushed. Indrew, it's being D deescalated, as his chiefcharacteristic Andi Eti to SOM hes es any given days very private, but not tonight. Tonight he has taken pride and he'sbrought it up to the Valtar, the proverbal altar and he's sacrificingpride and how's. He doing that by surrender. You know what happens when someone sayssomething to us that we don't like and we want to smash them and we want tolash out to the MO. We want to take them and we don't we answer in love becauselove doesn't love. Doesn't bully and...

...love doesn't keep a recond of wrongrold wrongdoings and run? U and love doesn't love doesn't prains around and Lovdoesn't destrive. I know love covers o Montal studentins, of course, but lovealso doesn't force itself on another Hene, someone slans you and you love on.You know what you just did you just sloughtered and you see the way that we have ourdefects, ive character. Remove from US are is not by Wishin. I'm really working on myprograstination relly working online was the big one. I awas Hurd meatings,I'm really working on Lik patience. Nhas that gone F, that's coude, you'R, never going to getto work on your patience. God is going to remove your impatience. Has that has that happened, sacrificeand the thes spiritual principle behind all this is trust. Well, what is it?What is sadind? I'm sorrin forget it can ce Tros. Now it's got a bigwillingness in sex willingness. His got to be willinges, William, I is got tobe six Tommy. What is is willing is done, it's gotta be williness. Yes, sace is willing, because you haveto be willing to surrender the things that you thought were amazing. Listenwhen I came in still on any given day. My pride can kill me and the defects ofcharacter that I came in here with sometimes I love them like. Do youbrazy handed you love Angy, sometimes come on Beyon someone boncs into you and you'r like what Ayou and you go into that comcode for asecond. You go into that anger to coot for a second, and then you rememberthat you're, a man or woman in Alcohol Sadamis, and we practice theseprinciples and allour affairs and having had a spiritual aweakening as aresult of these steps. We try to carry this message to everyone and then you want you want to go and Yo someone cuts you off and you like. I see I'm not alone in this area. I was having dinner tonight with myeight year old. This is always shocking to me. This is always shocking to me anI'm going to share this with you young generation and not not pointed thingrs,but I just want to share. I with you, so maybe you can see how this affectssomeone in his son, I'm having dinner with my eight year old in a restauranttonight and I'm sangs fancy restaurantes. Are you know, reglarYouknow, five dim restaurant, but the guy in the next thing talking to hisfriend, was F Kurson, the entire time, I'm N. just in the next table, my son'seight. I know on's going to be here then, but still in shock into me. I make a decision at that point to takemy stuff or do I say Somethif, I say something could go in many different,an I'm not going to say it mainly I'm going to say what I mean and I'm notgoing to say it mean I'm not going to come over like a bigshot, I'm going to come over and and say, Hey. Remember that time we didthat I withtose with those people Liandi with the boat and they weredoing that and I went over and say: Hey comn guys, Eah ut ther was you know Ruffian. Youcan tell thereis going to be a serious situation. Look like the entire forfront! Rol over here and and they were just plasting, NS, musicand en families around I said Con Aswe had a Fan Forawa, they took a Woll, ittook wot, but so I had to make a decision to night just an hour before Igot here. What was I going to do? Was I going to make a stand that was going toembarrass my son, which I did a month ago. I embarrassed him. We were at acircus and I embarrassed him- and I...

...embarrasse my my wife, or am I going to do this the right wayan tonight I making decisions, to sacrifice my pride and to sacrifice myanger and I prayed, and he was a great thing, America happen and they stoppedpursing, but if they didn't this is what I was prepared to do. I wasprepared to leave. I was prepared to walk out with ourstuff to go because I op couple different things. I don't want tosacrifice my serenity number one. I don't want to embarrass my son, like Idid a month ago, and I also don't want to embarrass myGod. I don't want to mance by not, but always we're bringing stuff up to thetamble and we're taking it off soand then we're GOINTA end here on step six,but I'm not going to see you next week. That's why I'm trying to pack a lot ofstuff on s a lot of stuff. I, the process of recovery, is neveranding to it's. Taking away everything you have inside you right now can takeyou to the finish line. You have enough strength, you have enough love, youhave enough faith, you have enough courage. You have every one of theseprinciples. All in you, you just have to exercise them like a muscle. Whathas to be taken away is all the nonspiritual things that try to to tryto take Awaythese, Istet, onet's, honesty, you want to surrenderdishonesty love, you want to surrender anger and a quick jus ICATE. You knew theprogram in this book right here. What war, I doesn't t doesn't mean if you Cdo for the Prova reminder in this book here, which is our Twele and twelve inthe eleventh step, is the eleventh steperer. You know what we're justgoing to do it at's say: We'R gonna. Do It yoave o go go ooi want you to he just case. You mayget itto a situation as we and you meay not even know that you coan be likethis. Lord made me a channel of thy piece that, where thereis hatred, I man reallove that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgivemess that,where there is discord, I mingran harmony that where there 's ever, I mayBin Truth that where there is doubt I mean Brin faith that where there isdespair, I may bring hope that where there are shadows, I maybrin one thatwhere there is Senes I may bring Jon Lord brant that I may seek rather tocomfort than be comforted to understand, then to be understood to love than tobe loved, for it is byself, forgetting that one finds and Itis by forgiving.That one is forgiven. It is by dying that one week is weturn te life, Amen,I'll, see you guys in to you're gonna Havee Brak Hor. Next weekyou O you PREA.

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