AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode 27 · 1 year ago

Stevie B Step 7 - Home Depot @ Spread The Word Group 2020

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Bring Alcoholic and remember the golden textgroups India beach far. Thank you. How are you? To See you? Does anybody it? Just a quick questions. Anybody have a twelve andtwelve Jimmy possibly? I know it's a shocking did you have a brand now? I love this is beautiful. Thank you, ty. I do mindif I take a classic off the on top. You know, I justhave to just do this. God, I owe myself to thee to buildwith me and to do with me as thou will relieve me of the bondageof self that I made. Better do. THY will take away my difficulties,that victory over them may bear witness to those. I would help ofTHY power, THY love and THY way of life. May I do THYwill always. Amen. Amen, and you know I we say Amen It. There's no amen in the big book on on the third step prayer.But it doesn't matter, because what Amen means is we agree right down.We agree. So we are agreeing that any life run on self will isgoing to be a disaster. Amen, we agree, and that's it.That's what because, let me say, Ray knows I just I did gaveray a big hug outside and just hugged him and I did the third stepprayer with him as we're walking. Ray knows, one of the things thatI hate the most high wedding a hide back there, but I see you. In my life hate it more than anything in my life is construction andbeing involved in construction projects. I just it just is the most frustrating thingfor me in the world because I really can't do construction. So when I'min it it is a very powerless feeling. You know, tonight I went toscrewing a life plate. I know if that's what it's called, butthere's a socket plate, a socket plate, socket plate to three of them toget to one socket plate. So I screwed in the socket plate andshattered the next one. I'm going to do it in a different system.I went a little bit slower and and and then I went a little bitslower and I screwed in this slot. I had a drill, I hada gun. What is that calling in a screw gun man, and itwas powerful. That was my first mistakes. A powerful screw gun. I'm betterwith the screw driver, with the powerful one, Jason. That justdid just destroyed it, you know, and it's a plastic cover that goesover and then gone to gone obliterated. It was like a Hammag drill gone. And so I really don't like it. I don't like construction. I likethe end results. I like to come back when something's finished and yourcompliments. I like that, but I don't like the moment to moment screwingplates and carrying toilets and and doing all that. But I did it todayand and about twenty minutes ago the last toilet broke and we had already havethe toilet I broke, guess today and...

...they would change the floor today becausefrom the left yesterday's flood and tonight we were having a new flood, whichis kind of fun. And so about twenty five minutes, eight hundred andfive, I'm you know, everyone's done constructions. I'm not saying I'm deConstruction, but I'm saying I was a construction project. So you know,when you're covering a construction dust right, and and the toilet just broke.So I'm not carrying the toilet. And eight hundred five, I know Igotta speak here very, very shortly, you know, like at eight thirty, and I'm still carrying toilets at eight. Don't five. That's just the thirdstep right there, right Ray. Is that third staid? There isthe third ste made a decision. Turn my life over to the care ofGod, as as as he is, right, Scotty, as he is. I don't know how you two people do it. I don't know howconstruction people do it. To me that's like Astro physicism. It is serious, bitch. I don't I don't understand it. I don't understand how thepower gets from there to the outlet. I don't get okay. To meit seems like it should not work. And that's really is that Sarah inthe back? Is that sir? To anybody I have seen? Can youraise your hand please for a seat for Sarah, please, right over here, right. We have plenty of seats, plenty of seas per se tonight wecan talk about the the seventh step, and I know you may feel likewhat we've been talking about the six and seven step for a long time, but I want to tell you that our defects of character will kill USguns all the seats over here to but different. Thank you for you goingto be chair. Our defects of character will kill us. Our shortcomings willbring us to our knees, if it doesn't kill us, and it'll certainlydestroy any peace and serenity we have inside us if we are not entirely readyto have God remove these defects of character, number one and number two, torealize we are not going to be able to remove him. So let'sjump to seven and realize I humbly need to come to the Lord and askhim to remove these shortcomings. You follow me, we out there, wecan form to pray tonight. Didn't we speak about that lasts my first timedoing this, I was you did a great job. Can we tell themhow what a great job he did? That's awesome, that's great. That'sawesome. Our defects of character that we spoke about last week. By theway, Chris, this is for you. Last week's was really funny, okay, and really good. This week not good, not going to befunny. So if you can trying to get last week's talk and about defectsof character, and because if you're suffering from stuff like I am, youreally want to get to this place where you just bring in your wheelbarrow fullof defects and just dropping it at God's though. You know, God gaveme this picture one time. I shared it with you, Daniel, aboutthat we are on a Potter's wheel, where the clay, and he's thepotter, he's the master, where the creation, and that he's made useach individually perfect in our own way, and and each of us have adifferent design. We have a we are, we are intended for a different sculpturesright there and we're intended for a different sculpture. Some of us arevases, Johnny, you be a Vaz. Some of us are mugs, Andrew, your mummy. Some of us are beer steins, Donnie, yourBeer Stein, Irish Beer Stein, and...

...some of us are plates. Someof us are designed and intended to carry you, for flowers, others greatfood, other drinks, other candlesticks. We all have a different purpose.Myself, I want to be other things that I was intended to all thetime, like I'm a sturdy mug. You pull me from the shelf andpour some hot coffee and me I'm going to deliver every time. But Ireally want to be a vase. I'm constantly wishing I was a OS.I'm always thinking that's nice that I that I'm a hot liquid type of stirMug type about I want to be. I want people to walk in aroom and go where did you get? Wow, that's some vos right there. And and and what happens is I try to add stuff that was neverintended on me through my defects of character, and I try to do things thatthat try to make me something I'm not. I like, I stickon some pride and some anger and some greed and some gluttony, some lostsome envy. Where's Tom? He's Tom Mixed o? You? Yeah,exactly, yeah, and sloth. I add these things to me, notnot even knowing that I'm doing it, because they're not God given. Noneof those things that I just mentioned to you are God given. God doesn'thand someone wrath. He gives you the ability to defend yourself and your familyand and and, but he doesn't give you wrath. He doesn't give youfury, he doesn't give you that kind. So he doesn't give you envy.God wants you to be happy for other people's success and not and notwant to have their success. He wants you to be happy for other people. He gives you that, but in the in the what happens is when, when we want to be something where not, defects of character will comeon. In the seventh step, our job is to get back on thePotter's wheel and to say to the Potter, please remove these shortcomings for me thatmake me undesirable to be able to do your work and to serve yourkids, where his kids. We get back on the Potter's wheel and weask God, the father, through our humility, please remove these shortcomings andand you know, Peter and Mariner has this great saying. They said thatthat the process of recovery is never adding, it's subtracting. I love what hesays that. At first, when he said it, I didn't likeit and I took his inventory. Likes to me by that. We're alwaysadding stuff to our recovery and our and the night were understood. What wewas saying after a while is that we were already perfect one we were born. We added a bunch of stuff that was unnecessary. Babies don't come outracist, babies do not come out hateful, babies do not come out fearful.Things happen and they add stuff to the Potter's wheel. It's our jobnow to get back on that wheel,...

...and it's in humility, knowing thatI'm never going to be able to remove these shortcomings myself. I love whenI go to meetings and I hear people say and I'm really working on patientsand and and it's not going great. You know, I'm in my seventhstep, six and seventh step and and I'm really working on my patients.And my sponsor gave me this great exercise to drive the speed limit and I'vebeen driving the speed limit for a month and I haven't gotten any more patience. Listen, if it was that easy to drive the speed limit for amonth to get patients, a lot of us would be driving the speed limitfor a while. It just doesn't work like that. I mean it's agreat exercise in willingness. Your sponsor says drive the speed limit for a monthand if you don't, you know that you're not really willing to have Godremove these defects of character. So so that it's a great exercise and willingness. But driving the speed limit for a month or two dozen't or supernaturally,after fifty years of life, you know I drove the speed limit two months. Can you do you realize how patient on being? Right now I ambeing incredibly patient. It doesn't work like that. The process of patients hasGod needs to remove my impatience. I need to get back on the Potter'swheel and I need to say to God, listen, God, I'm entire readyfor you to remove impatience from me and then as it's painfully removed frommy side, because who wants to be patient it? We are busy.You see how busy I am. Listen, today I was busy. I'm goingto say something. I think. I'm just say this. This isthe personal opinion. If you listen on the Incidet, don't take you know, don't like throw barbs. I mean I think home deeper was evil.I think the entire company was designed by Satan himself. And though there fourtimes that, you cannot find anything in Home Deepo. Home deep was aone hour commitment to get a screw. You can't just drive in the homedeep on get a screw because they change. It's designed to work on your patients. You go to Home Depot for a light bulb. That's an hourbecause where they used to be now are change and now where you just wantto get them. All I wanted was a regular outside spotlight let light bulbthat they should still have those. They have them, but you will neverfind them. I guarantee you will never find you got to get some guythat works there that it's resentful for you to bother him and and I'm afterhe could get looked at me like, are you freaking kidding me? Askingme about a light buling. I wanted to say to him, well,why did you hide in the first place? If you are had it in theplace I could find it, I wouldn't have to ask you. haveit hidden behind every led contraps in in the world. If I want toask Alexa to turn on the light, how would it just not be here? I want to just be able to get I'm saying you got to goto twenty seven different categories to get a light bult today, and I hadto go to Home Depot three times today in three different locations, and thenafter I had bought these covers for the allectual covers, outlet covers. Thankyou, thank you, thank you, Eddie. Thank you for that.And that's the term I was trying to get when I was looking from Ibought a box of ten and it seemed to me that if it's an outsidething, everything should fit inside that. But no, there's different configurations.So the box intended do anything for me, because I don't know what you usethe one that has no inserts in...

...the middle, but not for mystuff. So after I spent twenty five minutes looking for that box and camehome with it, the people that were doing the actual screwing in the coverssaid to me, this is not correct. So I had to go back inhumiliation, not humility, humiliation like this, because I have the cantoday, don't I discovered today one of my shortcomings right now is patience.Yesterday I had no idea, I didn't even know I had I didn't evenknow how to problem in patience until today. Today is a new day. Yesterday, if you would ask me what my main shortcomings where, I woulddefinitely told you pride and envy and lost. I had none of that issues.Today, you cannot have issues of pride and be or lust in homepeople. It's very hard could. I had anger and impatience, and soI just want to say one more thing about the home people. There's twodifferent machines for making keys. There was the traditional machine where you have someonehelp you and that you can give a whole set of keys and comes outin five minutes. There's another machine that works on you in patience. Ididn't know that. It's a self served machine. It's a new contraption.Not Everyone, I don't know very every home people has it, but thatmachine you do your own keys and each key is a five minute process.If you have four keys, that's twenty minutes. You don't know it untilyou into it and then he's saying to you sevings. You see like allthe other families just flying out of the other kiosk with the guy that helpsthem with whole sets jingling like Jingle Bells as they walking by you. Yourealize wow, there's so much stuff here designed to really work on my shortcomings. Is An amazing the whole process is a process of having US surrender thingsthat aren't working. You know, if I would have waited for the guyin the regular kiosk key key thing that is traditionally been there for ten years, I could have gotten three or four sets done. But they have thisother one, the impatient kiosk key keymaker, and there's no line there because theywant to see it. They have cameras on it, they want tosee. Who doesn't have patience to wait for the guy you know it tome, I should have known. Whenever there's a line and a no line, there's a reason. The the line area means there's value there and peoplewill wait for it. The no line, which turns out to be four dollars, a key, a key, you know, not like we're usedto traditionally. Right. So, so, listen to prayer, listen to theseven step pray. Ready for this, Joe, sit down. Thank you, brother, thank you, thank you so much. You mean thatI borrowed the twelve and twelve for no reason. Listen to this prayer.Did I need this today? My Creator,...

I don't know where it is inhere. Seventy. I know this is the study. It doesn't corelymy career. I am now willing that you should have all of me.I'm now ready for you to remove every single defect of character that stands inthe way of my usefulness to you and to my fellows. Grant me yourstrength as I go out and do your bidding. Amen. I'm not sureif that was exactly but the idea behind it is this. These defects,of these shortcomings will absolutely paralyze me, have me bitter, have me stuck, have me making bad decision Asians, have me running from line to line, have me purchasing things that I don't it's Whoa you know, right now, people are saying in their marriage is right now cross the country. Youknow what, that person doesn't make me happy anymore. It's time for meto look elsewhere instead of saying to ourselves, you know why I am not makingmyself happy. I'm not close to God. Let me see what Ican ask him to remove from me to make me more usefulness, useful toyou and to my fellows. Today was a great crushing of my ego process. No, people will do that to me every time. It is myart, it is my Achilles Tendon, and you know I'm you all haveit also, and you sometimes, some of you, it's doctors offices,other people it's dentists. Other place it's public's where you rush to the lineand you have only two items and and you rush there and there's an olderwoman and she's got it definitely twenty item and you just, you just besideyourself. We want to call a manager. You like cut really, come onnow, this is obvious. Jason F your to night, take noJays at days, and you know, like what? Sometimes it's traffic.South Park's an amazing training ground for shortcomings and traffic. I think it's great. I love it. I watch people spin out of control. No,they would only let you. You know what happens. No one let youin. You know, when they let me in, I wave to thatguy for like ten minutes. I'm the guy that you see that when youlet me in, I'm out of the window waiting at you. I wantyou to know you did me a proper I go. I go so farout of my way to let to thank you. I make you uncomfortable.I wait for you at the light with hazards on my car to tell youyou hook me up, because I want to transfer some of that joy Ihave. I have no one of the things I have no problem with rightnow is traffic, because that has been crushed at me. It's been crushed. Yesterday I had no problem with intatience. You See, what's amazing is thatin this training ground of sobriety, you're going to find new things everyday. Am I right? Am I right? I mean it's a Christminds, the same thing that I was. For you guys went to five yearswith no Jay ages. It changes. It's amazing how this whole thing changesthe longer we stay. In the...

...beginning it's about not drinking and notdrug right, you're in your first year, but about eight months. That's awesome. That's still in your first year instead. And so for you rightnow it's a lot about staying clean and sober. Right, it's a lotabout that, right. And then that's the way it should be in theginning. One hundred percent should it should definitely be there. And you reallydon't need to focus so much in the first year, so much on stepsix and seven. It's important. I'm not saying just you just go aroundtown, you know, pooping all over everybody in creating wreckage in your presence. You're not doing that, but you really need to focus on the firstthree steps and doing the first and doing the twelve steps. But six andseven is going to be a lifelong process, I guarantee you. If I askpeople in here that are sober, five years of more, ten yearsand more, fifteen years and more, twenty years and more, twenty,five years and more, thirty years of more, if they are going throughthe same shortcomings, if they have the same shortcomings that they had in thebeginning, that will say absolutely not, because it changes, right, doesn'tit change? When I met you in this exact room ten years ago,will you let the jacket riding in here and your motor cycle, we wereten years younger. We were different people back then. Then ten years later, we're dealing with other issues. I didn't have envy when I was inmy twenty. I didn't you, NVB, I didn't end you. Now imbu. Yeah, different. These things were like up when in my sother than Whoa. Now they're down gravity. It wins every time. So myissues that I had back then are different than I have today. Butlisten to this. My issues will still absolutely today, eighteen years later,kill me and and if I let them get up here, Jayson, thenI will take a pill or a drink or a Toke, I will listento the media, I'll go and get marijuana, I'll go get whatever ittakes, because I'll let my issues define me. But my issues should neverdefine me. My God needs to define me, because God could work onmy current issues. He doesn't change. The program doesn't change. The bigbook doesn't change. Clean House, help others. You Trust God. Yourmemory will change, but the program doesn't. So those principles are the same asthey were when I walked in here twenty seven years ago. I relapse. They after having seven years. I'm back eighteen years now, praise God, and I'm not looking to relapse again so that I could prove me rightthat I'm a moron. You know what you win alcohol twound. Ten outof ten. I have never met an alcoholic drink drink that didn't kick mybutt. And I'm not even listen, I'm not even a real I'm I'mnot even a pure alcohol understand. I backed into alcoholics anonymous. I'm reallya drug addict that developed an alcohol problem in sobriety. What, how doesthat work? I got so thirsty in my first seven years of sobriety thatwhen I took my first drink in my relapse I liked it, and inmy early years I only like drugs.

So I would come tow alcoholics.Anonymous. I sit in a meeting with my good friend Wendy back there andI would say I'm an alcoholic, but I look at her, I goI'm not really not home. And unless you can admit your innermos self thatyou are powerless over alcohol. In the program alcoholics anonymous, you are goingto drink again, and I didn't get that concept. I thought, listen, I'm a I'm definitely a jokey. That's on paper, you know.I mean smoke stuff here out of a window for days on end. That'swhy my eyes don't meet in the middle. Look at a rug in the middleof an old like that. You see that rub? That's a perfectexample. I know the police are rushing in at any time. I seethat rug, I jump on the corner, I grabbed the ends, I rolledmyself up and I like I like a Tupchy roll and I hide inthe middle of that rug and I don't think anyone can see me, ashard to do on Scotch. So I am not a pure alcoholic, butI'm definitely a real alcoholic. I'll tell you why, because it doesn't matterwhat you use, it's the syndrome that you have before you used it,and the moment I take a drink it cures my alcoholism. It works tenout of ten times. The same thing. When I came in tonight, IHolt Gray and I did the third step her of my my friends andreal quick. That worked ten and that works ten out of ten times.Right down of the prayers work ten out of ten time. Well, alcoholused to work for me ten out of ten times. I've had this thinginside me since I since I can remember, since I'm four, I had aresentment against the entire neighborhood since I'm for because when I walk to theplayground on I could tell that they were different types of factions out there.There were different types of groups and I, by a coincidence of birth, wasnot born into the right family. I'm going to tell him about.Well, I'm told by having big brothers. Ray and I am from the sametown. Raised the big brother obviously to his younger brother, so hisyounger brother and I are the same age. When his younger brother would walk tothe playground, his younger brother would get juice because he had a bigbrother. When I walked to the playground, I got no juice. Juice meansno one respects you. You know why? When I walk to theplayground, nobody respect me because I had a little, Short, chubby systemand you get no juice for that. Nobody fears you for that, nobodypicks you from the team first for that. They're like a little here comes seewith his sister, he must know what he's doing. No. SoI had a resentment, I had inferiority complex from when I was very,very young. Tommy, did your brothers? You have brothers? Yes, seemed, yeah, but you're very good looking. So that is she wasshowing too. When you walk to the playground, you got no juice.It's the same thing. And so I felt inferior from the very beginning andI always knew my problem was because I didn't have brothers. In my blockevery family had brothers. The waguments three brothers, the woollie's three brothers,the cohens three brothers, the mundingers three brothers, the wagonments three brothers.ME, Short, Chubby system. By the time I took the first drinkof Maneshevit's Jewish table wine at twelve, I was like it's exactly what Ineed. I am not going to be able to change my my family.I'm half Jewish, half Italian. You...

...get no juice on that, don'tyou know? that. That doesn't give you any juice. I got shotin the eye when I'm twelve. I'm walking around with one eye. Nojuice. I got no brothers, but when I took that drink, thattrink allowed me to have a piece and a confidence about me that nothing elsewould bring me, including lying about every single thing of my life. Ilied about every part of my life. I lied about having a big brother. I told everybody my brother was a professional football player. I lied.I lied about the car I drove. I drove a four cylinder. Listento my neighborhood, in our neighborhood, if you're somebody who drove an Iroxy or a fire bird, I had a dots in betwo time and you'rean Italian in my neighborhood with the donsond to ten, no juice. Everythingin my life was designed to make me feel horrible about myself. So Iwould change everything. My brother played in the professional for eight it my brotheris Jerry Boyarski. He's a professional football player. Lie My car. Youthink it's a dotson. It's not. It's a two AC lie. Iwent bought a shifter at the store for four dollars and I screwed it ontothe thing with with this stickshift is or her shifter. I told everybody Idropped it. I dropped the engine out. I put a new engine. It'sit's a, it's a and I would and I would go with myfor cylon on a pop. The lunch embarrassing when karate kid came out.That my error is the karate kid. When karate kid came out this,I'm SOM barrassed and tell you, but this is the God's artist truth.I dressed up in a karate uniform because I was in karate and I putthe JETPAN thing for karate kid and I told everybody that I had studied underthe masters in okanowl. I was never comfortable in my own skin. Now, if alcohol did for you what it did for me, and I knowit did it for you, alcohol in any form and it makes you comfortablein your own skin and you don't have to lie about who you are anymorebecause you can become that person. You're not just going to give that upbecause of a couple D wives or treatment. You're going to hold onto that foras long as you possibly can. Write because you're going to hold ontothat and that's what alcohol in any form did for me. So when itcomes now to the seventh step of having these shortcomings removed, for us it'sa life and death process that these shortcomings, the defects, will absolutely, onehundred percent kill you or you want to kill yourself. My Creator,I'm now ready for you to have all of me. I didn't want youto have any of me. I didn't know who you were. I'm gettingback on the Potter's wheel. I'm asking you to remove my envy, I'masking you to remove my jealousy, I'm asking you to remove my lust,I'm asking you remove my fury, because I can't live like this anymore.I am not happy, Joyce and free in a regular store like Home Depot. It is a it lay in mind place. For me there's no speaceand serenity unless I could see that any life lived on self will is goingto be destructed. And before you run out of here and say you knowwhy there's no solution, there is. It's him. Trust God, CleanHouse, help others, Peter M says, carry the water, chop the wood. It's the same thing. It's...

...going to take work and what Ididn't know my first time around, because in the big book alcoholics anonymous,this step six and step seven is in one page, one page. It'sonly one page in the big book. The big book says in the forwardwe are one hundred men and women that have recovered from this seemingly hopeless stateof mind and body. But you and I know, Chris, what happened. Some of those people that recovered in the first one hundred they dragged againand die by the time they wrote the twelve and twelve doddred right, theymade entire chapters to six and seven because they realize that some of their friendsthat they loved died of the defects of character. They were recovered and theyweren't. So when you hear people today say they're recovered, there's nothing wrongwith that. People really do believe and they are recovered from a seemingly hopelessstate of money, no problem. Up of nine about a no problem.But they're doing the work daily to stay recovered from that disease. In themind, in the beginning of the first one hundred they thought you do thesteps, you're recovered, we're good. Now let's go out and tell ofthe people about it. And it worked for a bunch of them, buta bunch of them it didn't. And then they looked at the at thebig book, and they realize where my fault, in the Big Room,where Mike can do better, and you where you can do better, is. Let's spend some more time talking about the step that separates the men fromthe boys and the women from the girls and shortcomings that's killing our flock.Flock that first one hundred. Every time you hear someone go out, you'regoing to hear something like that. You stopped going to meeting. Ego.They focused on making money, pride, they started shooting steroids. Ego,they stopped going to meetings. Sloth, laziness. They're slipping around town lost. That guy was a real jerk anyway. Ego. I think I was ahard guy to talk to. Anger. Every time we hear someone go out, it's not what we're saying. We're very rare, very rare.I mean people can have a bad day, they can go to the hospital,they can get they can go to surgery, they can get something prescribedto them that could send them out. They can die from that. There'sa million reasons to relax. Don't don't I'm not acting like I know everythingI'm saying, but I'm saying in my life, I just gave you thatmy life. My life was steroids, pride, sleeping around town, lost, did go to meeting, sloth. When I went to meetings, Idrove my my suped up sports car and parked right in the front ego.I you know what helps me to stay centered in this program? There wasa guy in my home group, Tall Tommy. I don't remember when youtold Tommy, Tommy are and I'm in dtalks. I'd seven years and nowI'm in dtos. And told Tommy is bringing the meeting in from Melrose ParkGroup, into the foreloading a hospital and the foreload of hospital. Back inthe day they'd bring you downstairs to the cafeteria and they'd have a meeting andmost of the people there they didn't want to go to the meeting. Soit was like only two or three of us and we they brought us downto the meeting in our slippers. Not Slippers, they're they're paper slippers andin our I was in a gown. Not everyone was in a gown.I was on Suicide Watch, so I had a gown. I didn't havemy shoes. Other people that were in the higher in saying category they hadshoots. Somehow they felt that I was going to hang myself with my shoelacesat two hundred and fifteen. So I was, you know, shuffing theshuffling along. It's very, very hard...

...to look cool in those slippers andalso they take your hair to all the way, which to me was anatrocity. So can imagine how cool I looked. I wasn't thor seen,but but no hair jel. It was the same for me. Okay,that's might as well give me thorty. I that that is like. Somy hair is it is all a mess. I'm in the gown, I gotthe sill slippers and there's Tall Tommy bringing the meeting in from my home, from one of my home rooms, from one of my groups, TallTommy, and I remember two things I hope I never forget from eighteen andfrom nineteen years ago. One is the Tall Tommy and what is the Ritchiefrom Liberty House? These two things I hope I never forget. Told Tommy. Tommy can borrow any cents for Soda? I'd ask a guy from my homegroup that was taken a meeting in there. May I get eighty centsfor soda. I hope I don't forget that. I'm very and I don'tsay this to post, I want you to know I'm very easy with buyingpeople things in early recovery. Don't come up to me afterwards. You gotto catch me an earlier in the day because people took care of me andearly recover they took they bought me meals, they took me to the launder met, they show me how to shop, they took me to publics, theytook me and they put stuff in my card. Tall Tommy gave memoney for Soda. And then when I showed up at Liberty House a couplea couple weeks later from the Fort Larn the hospital, and Richie looks atme and he goes, Stevie, you coming here to speak, and thenhe sees I got no fire in my eyes, I got no bounce inmy step. I got my luggage, my win dixie bags, one forthe clean, one for the dirty, one for the toilet tries, andhe says like this to me, Stevie, you coming to speak, and thenhis eyes focused and never I hope I never forget this. My friendsand my knowing that this is big deal for me and I always get emotional. And then he said to me, would you like a sandwich? Ihope I never forget that. I went from a guy that was driving asports convertible car, big shot, to the twelve stubhouse or three piece matchingGucci Luggage and I wound up at Liberty House like three piece of mismatching whenDixie bags and then mis she says to me, would you like a sandwich? And you know what I said to Michael. You know what I saidto Richie. Yes, said to me, do you have a towel? Wouldyou like a sandwich? Yes, and I hope that I never getback on the Potter's wheel and jump off, because I think I've arrived. Ihope my stay on the Potter's wheel and when Ego and pride and lustand all the other defects of character in the shortcome, he's come back.I pray that I have a crowd of witnesses around me and I'm teachable enoughthat you can pull me decide say you know what, you're really acting likea jerk. Your pride. You know you really acting like a Jermor,you really came across like this. You know you could have answered more loving. I hope, I hope, I pray that I have a team ofpeople around me that bring me straight to the tent step on any day andgive me the golden rule of the ten step. Were you kind and lovingtowards all? Because if I keep those type of people around me, thosepeople that speak honesty into my life, then I'll never again have to bethere again with the sandwich situation, or much worse, because it's times weget into our life when nobody even cares that we have a sandwich. Isn'tthat true? We've even burned the Richie, we've even burned the Ritchie Bridge,and next week we're going to talk...

...about how to get into some realaction with a pen and paper and stop pussy footing around and and go intomeetings with no sponsor and or whether sponsor by name, and talking about yourbid in the fourth step for two years or eight months. It's never twoyears. You never in the four step for two years because you always restartingagain. Four step, eight months, for step eight months, for stepeight months, and you keep wondering why you're starting again because you're not willinga dump the garbage. So next week we're going to talk about making alist. God bless you guys. Thanks for being very WHO'S UNCLEHOL.

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