AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode 27 · 2 years ago

Stevie B Step 7 - Home Depot @ Spread The Word Group 2020

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Bring Alcoholic and remember the golden text groups India beach far. Thank you. How are you? To See you? Does anybody it? Just a quick questions. Anybody have a twelve and twelve Jimmy possibly? I know it's a shocking did you have a brand now? I love this is beautiful. Thank you, ty. I do mind if I take a classic off the on top. You know, I just have to just do this. God, I owe myself to thee to build with me and to do with me as thou will relieve me of the bondage of self that I made. Better do. THY will take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those. I would help of THY power, THY love and THY way of life. May I do THY will always. Amen. Amen, and you know I we say Amen It. There's no amen in the big book on on the third step prayer. But it doesn't matter, because what Amen means is we agree right down. We agree. So we are agreeing that any life run on self will is going to be a disaster. Amen, we agree, and that's it. That's what because, let me say, Ray knows I just I did gave ray a big hug outside and just hugged him and I did the third step prayer with him as we're walking. Ray knows, one of the things that I hate the most high wedding a hide back there, but I see you. In my life hate it more than anything in my life is construction and being involved in construction projects. I just it just is the most frustrating thing for me in the world because I really can't do construction. So when I'm in it it is a very powerless feeling. You know, tonight I went to screwing a life plate. I know if that's what it's called, but there's a socket plate, a socket plate, socket plate to three of them to get to one socket plate. So I screwed in the socket plate and shattered the next one. I'm going to do it in a different system. I went a little bit slower and and and then I went a little bit slower and I screwed in this slot. I had a drill, I had a gun. What is that calling in a screw gun man, and it was powerful. That was my first mistakes. A powerful screw gun. I'm better with the screw driver, with the powerful one, Jason. That just did just destroyed it, you know, and it's a plastic cover that goes over and then gone to gone obliterated. It was like a Hammag drill gone. And so I really don't like it. I don't like construction. I like the end results. I like to come back when something's finished and your compliments. I like that, but I don't like the moment to moment screwing plates and carrying toilets and and doing all that. But I did it today and and about twenty minutes ago the last toilet broke and we had already have the toilet I broke, guess today and...

...they would change the floor today because from the left yesterday's flood and tonight we were having a new flood, which is kind of fun. And so about twenty five minutes, eight hundred and five, I'm you know, everyone's done constructions. I'm not saying I'm de Construction, but I'm saying I was a construction project. So you know, when you're covering a construction dust right, and and the toilet just broke. So I'm not carrying the toilet. And eight hundred five, I know I gotta speak here very, very shortly, you know, like at eight thirty, and I'm still carrying toilets at eight. Don't five. That's just the third step right there, right Ray. Is that third staid? There is the third ste made a decision. Turn my life over to the care of God, as as as he is, right, Scotty, as he is. I don't know how you two people do it. I don't know how construction people do it. To me that's like Astro physicism. It is serious, bitch. I don't I don't understand it. I don't understand how the power gets from there to the outlet. I don't get okay. To me it seems like it should not work. And that's really is that Sarah in the back? Is that sir? To anybody I have seen? Can you raise your hand please for a seat for Sarah, please, right over here, right. We have plenty of seats, plenty of seas per se tonight we can talk about the the seventh step, and I know you may feel like what we've been talking about the six and seven step for a long time, but I want to tell you that our defects of character will kill US guns all the seats over here to but different. Thank you for you going to be chair. Our defects of character will kill us. Our shortcomings will bring us to our knees, if it doesn't kill us, and it'll certainly destroy any peace and serenity we have inside us if we are not entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character, number one and number two, to realize we are not going to be able to remove him. So let's jump to seven and realize I humbly need to come to the Lord and ask him to remove these shortcomings. You follow me, we out there, we can form to pray tonight. Didn't we speak about that lasts my first time doing this, I was you did a great job. Can we tell them how what a great job he did? That's awesome, that's great. That's awesome. Our defects of character that we spoke about last week. By the way, Chris, this is for you. Last week's was really funny, okay, and really good. This week not good, not going to be funny. So if you can trying to get last week's talk and about defects of character, and because if you're suffering from stuff like I am, you really want to get to this place where you just bring in your wheelbarrow full of defects and just dropping it at God's though. You know, God gave me this picture one time. I shared it with you, Daniel, about that we are on a Potter's wheel, where the clay, and he's the potter, he's the master, where the creation, and that he's made us each individually perfect in our own way, and and each of us have a different design. We have a we are, we are intended for a different sculptures right there and we're intended for a different sculpture. Some of us are vases, Johnny, you be a Vaz. Some of us are mugs, Andrew, your mummy. Some of us are beer steins, Donnie, your Beer Stein, Irish Beer Stein, and...

...some of us are plates. Some of us are designed and intended to carry you, for flowers, others great food, other drinks, other candlesticks. We all have a different purpose. Myself, I want to be other things that I was intended to all the time, like I'm a sturdy mug. You pull me from the shelf and pour some hot coffee and me I'm going to deliver every time. But I really want to be a vase. I'm constantly wishing I was a OS. I'm always thinking that's nice that I that I'm a hot liquid type of stir Mug type about I want to be. I want people to walk in a room and go where did you get? Wow, that's some vos right there. And and and what happens is I try to add stuff that was never intended on me through my defects of character, and I try to do things that that try to make me something I'm not. I like, I stick on some pride and some anger and some greed and some gluttony, some lost some envy. Where's Tom? He's Tom Mixed o? You? Yeah, exactly, yeah, and sloth. I add these things to me, not not even knowing that I'm doing it, because they're not God given. None of those things that I just mentioned to you are God given. God doesn't hand someone wrath. He gives you the ability to defend yourself and your family and and and, but he doesn't give you wrath. He doesn't give you fury, he doesn't give you that kind. So he doesn't give you envy. God wants you to be happy for other people's success and not and not want to have their success. He wants you to be happy for other people. He gives you that, but in the in the what happens is when, when we want to be something where not, defects of character will come on. In the seventh step, our job is to get back on the Potter's wheel and to say to the Potter, please remove these shortcomings for me that make me undesirable to be able to do your work and to serve your kids, where his kids. We get back on the Potter's wheel and we ask God, the father, through our humility, please remove these shortcomings and and you know, Peter and Mariner has this great saying. They said that that the process of recovery is never adding, it's subtracting. I love what he says that. At first, when he said it, I didn't like it and I took his inventory. Likes to me by that. We're always adding stuff to our recovery and our and the night were understood. What we was saying after a while is that we were already perfect one we were born. We added a bunch of stuff that was unnecessary. Babies don't come out racist, babies do not come out hateful, babies do not come out fearful. Things happen and they add stuff to the Potter's wheel. It's our job now to get back on that wheel,...

...and it's in humility, knowing that I'm never going to be able to remove these shortcomings myself. I love when I go to meetings and I hear people say and I'm really working on patients and and and it's not going great. You know, I'm in my seventh step, six and seventh step and and I'm really working on my patients. And my sponsor gave me this great exercise to drive the speed limit and I've been driving the speed limit for a month and I haven't gotten any more patience. Listen, if it was that easy to drive the speed limit for a month to get patients, a lot of us would be driving the speed limit for a while. It just doesn't work like that. I mean it's a great exercise in willingness. Your sponsor says drive the speed limit for a month and if you don't, you know that you're not really willing to have God remove these defects of character. So so that it's a great exercise and willingness. But driving the speed limit for a month or two dozen't or supernaturally, after fifty years of life, you know I drove the speed limit two months. Can you do you realize how patient on being? Right now I am being incredibly patient. It doesn't work like that. The process of patients has God needs to remove my impatience. I need to get back on the Potter's wheel and I need to say to God, listen, God, I'm entire ready for you to remove impatience from me and then as it's painfully removed from my side, because who wants to be patient it? We are busy. You see how busy I am. Listen, today I was busy. I'm going to say something. I think. I'm just say this. This is the personal opinion. If you listen on the Incidet, don't take you know, don't like throw barbs. I mean I think home deeper was evil. I think the entire company was designed by Satan himself. And though there four times that, you cannot find anything in Home Deepo. Home deep was a one hour commitment to get a screw. You can't just drive in the home deep on get a screw because they change. It's designed to work on your patients. You go to Home Depot for a light bulb. That's an hour because where they used to be now are change and now where you just want to get them. All I wanted was a regular outside spotlight let light bulb that they should still have those. They have them, but you will never find them. I guarantee you will never find you got to get some guy that works there that it's resentful for you to bother him and and I'm after he could get looked at me like, are you freaking kidding me? Asking me about a light buling. I wanted to say to him, well, why did you hide in the first place? If you are had it in the place I could find it, I wouldn't have to ask you. have it hidden behind every led contraps in in the world. If I want to ask Alexa to turn on the light, how would it just not be here? I want to just be able to get I'm saying you got to go to twenty seven different categories to get a light bult today, and I had to go to Home Depot three times today in three different locations, and then after I had bought these covers for the allectual covers, outlet covers. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Eddie. Thank you for that. And that's the term I was trying to get when I was looking from I bought a box of ten and it seemed to me that if it's an outside thing, everything should fit inside that. But no, there's different configurations. So the box intended do anything for me, because I don't know what you use the one that has no inserts in...

...the middle, but not for my stuff. So after I spent twenty five minutes looking for that box and came home with it, the people that were doing the actual screwing in the covers said to me, this is not correct. So I had to go back in humiliation, not humility, humiliation like this, because I have the can today, don't I discovered today one of my shortcomings right now is patience. Yesterday I had no idea, I didn't even know I had I didn't even know how to problem in patience until today. Today is a new day. Yesterday, if you would ask me what my main shortcomings where, I would definitely told you pride and envy and lost. I had none of that issues. Today, you cannot have issues of pride and be or lust in home people. It's very hard could. I had anger and impatience, and so I just want to say one more thing about the home people. There's two different machines for making keys. There was the traditional machine where you have someone help you and that you can give a whole set of keys and comes out in five minutes. There's another machine that works on you in patience. I didn't know that. It's a self served machine. It's a new contraption. Not Everyone, I don't know very every home people has it, but that machine you do your own keys and each key is a five minute process. If you have four keys, that's twenty minutes. You don't know it until you into it and then he's saying to you sevings. You see like all the other families just flying out of the other kiosk with the guy that helps them with whole sets jingling like Jingle Bells as they walking by you. You realize wow, there's so much stuff here designed to really work on my shortcomings. Is An amazing the whole process is a process of having US surrender things that aren't working. You know, if I would have waited for the guy in the regular kiosk key key thing that is traditionally been there for ten years, I could have gotten three or four sets done. But they have this other one, the impatient kiosk key keymaker, and there's no line there because they want to see it. They have cameras on it, they want to see. Who doesn't have patience to wait for the guy you know it to me, I should have known. Whenever there's a line and a no line, there's a reason. The the line area means there's value there and people will wait for it. The no line, which turns out to be four dollars, a key, a key, you know, not like we're used to traditionally. Right. So, so, listen to prayer, listen to the seven step pray. Ready for this, Joe, sit down. Thank you, brother, thank you, thank you so much. You mean that I borrowed the twelve and twelve for no reason. Listen to this prayer. Did I need this today? My Creator,...

I don't know where it is in here. Seventy. I know this is the study. It doesn't corely my career. I am now willing that you should have all of me. I'm now ready for you to remove every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and to my fellows. Grant me your strength as I go out and do your bidding. Amen. I'm not sure if that was exactly but the idea behind it is this. These defects, of these shortcomings will absolutely paralyze me, have me bitter, have me stuck, have me making bad decision Asians, have me running from line to line, have me purchasing things that I don't it's Whoa you know, right now, people are saying in their marriage is right now cross the country. You know what, that person doesn't make me happy anymore. It's time for me to look elsewhere instead of saying to ourselves, you know why I am not making myself happy. I'm not close to God. Let me see what I can ask him to remove from me to make me more usefulness, useful to you and to my fellows. Today was a great crushing of my ego process. No, people will do that to me every time. It is my art, it is my Achilles Tendon, and you know I'm you all have it also, and you sometimes, some of you, it's doctors offices, other people it's dentists. Other place it's public's where you rush to the line and you have only two items and and you rush there and there's an older woman and she's got it definitely twenty item and you just, you just beside yourself. We want to call a manager. You like cut really, come on now, this is obvious. Jason F your to night, take no Jays at days, and you know, like what? Sometimes it's traffic. South Park's an amazing training ground for shortcomings and traffic. I think it's great. I love it. I watch people spin out of control. No, they would only let you. You know what happens. No one let you in. You know, when they let me in, I wave to that guy for like ten minutes. I'm the guy that you see that when you let me in, I'm out of the window waiting at you. I want you to know you did me a proper I go. I go so far out of my way to let to thank you. I make you uncomfortable. I wait for you at the light with hazards on my car to tell you you hook me up, because I want to transfer some of that joy I have. I have no one of the things I have no problem with right now is traffic, because that has been crushed at me. It's been crushed. Yesterday I had no problem with intatience. You See, what's amazing is that in this training ground of sobriety, you're going to find new things every day. Am I right? Am I right? I mean it's a Christ minds, the same thing that I was. For you guys went to five years with no Jay ages. It changes. It's amazing how this whole thing changes the longer we stay. In the...

...beginning it's about not drinking and not drug right, you're in your first year, but about eight months. That's awesome. That's still in your first year instead. And so for you right now it's a lot about staying clean and sober. Right, it's a lot about that, right. And then that's the way it should be in the ginning. One hundred percent should it should definitely be there. And you really don't need to focus so much in the first year, so much on step six and seven. It's important. I'm not saying just you just go around town, you know, pooping all over everybody in creating wreckage in your presence. You're not doing that, but you really need to focus on the first three steps and doing the first and doing the twelve steps. But six and seven is going to be a lifelong process, I guarantee you. If I ask people in here that are sober, five years of more, ten years and more, fifteen years and more, twenty years and more, twenty, five years and more, thirty years of more, if they are going through the same shortcomings, if they have the same shortcomings that they had in the beginning, that will say absolutely not, because it changes, right, doesn't it change? When I met you in this exact room ten years ago, will you let the jacket riding in here and your motor cycle, we were ten years younger. We were different people back then. Then ten years later, we're dealing with other issues. I didn't have envy when I was in my twenty. I didn't you, NVB, I didn't end you. Now imbu. Yeah, different. These things were like up when in my s other than Whoa. Now they're down gravity. It wins every time. So my issues that I had back then are different than I have today. But listen to this. My issues will still absolutely today, eighteen years later, kill me and and if I let them get up here, Jayson, then I will take a pill or a drink or a Toke, I will listen to the media, I'll go and get marijuana, I'll go get whatever it takes, because I'll let my issues define me. But my issues should never define me. My God needs to define me, because God could work on my current issues. He doesn't change. The program doesn't change. The big book doesn't change. Clean House, help others. You Trust God. Your memory will change, but the program doesn't. So those principles are the same as they were when I walked in here twenty seven years ago. I relapse. They after having seven years. I'm back eighteen years now, praise God, and I'm not looking to relapse again so that I could prove me right that I'm a moron. You know what you win alcohol twound. Ten out of ten. I have never met an alcoholic drink drink that didn't kick my butt. And I'm not even listen, I'm not even a real I'm I'm not even a pure alcohol understand. I backed into alcoholics anonymous. I'm really a drug addict that developed an alcohol problem in sobriety. What, how does that work? I got so thirsty in my first seven years of sobriety that when I took my first drink in my relapse I liked it, and in my early years I only like drugs.

So I would come tow alcoholics. Anonymous. I sit in a meeting with my good friend Wendy back there and I would say I'm an alcoholic, but I look at her, I go I'm not really not home. And unless you can admit your innermos self that you are powerless over alcohol. In the program alcoholics anonymous, you are going to drink again, and I didn't get that concept. I thought, listen, I'm a I'm definitely a jokey. That's on paper, you know. I mean smoke stuff here out of a window for days on end. That's why my eyes don't meet in the middle. Look at a rug in the middle of an old like that. You see that rub? That's a perfect example. I know the police are rushing in at any time. I see that rug, I jump on the corner, I grabbed the ends, I rolled myself up and I like I like a Tupchy roll and I hide in the middle of that rug and I don't think anyone can see me, as hard to do on Scotch. So I am not a pure alcoholic, but I'm definitely a real alcoholic. I'll tell you why, because it doesn't matter what you use, it's the syndrome that you have before you used it, and the moment I take a drink it cures my alcoholism. It works ten out of ten times. The same thing. When I came in tonight, I Holt Gray and I did the third step her of my my friends and real quick. That worked ten and that works ten out of ten times. Right down of the prayers work ten out of ten time. Well, alcohol used to work for me ten out of ten times. I've had this thing inside me since I since I can remember, since I'm four, I had a resentment against the entire neighborhood since I'm for because when I walk to the playground on I could tell that they were different types of factions out there. There were different types of groups and I, by a coincidence of birth, was not born into the right family. I'm going to tell him about. Well, I'm told by having big brothers. Ray and I am from the same town. Raised the big brother obviously to his younger brother, so his younger brother and I are the same age. When his younger brother would walk to the playground, his younger brother would get juice because he had a big brother. When I walked to the playground, I got no juice. Juice means no one respects you. You know why? When I walk to the playground, nobody respect me because I had a little, Short, chubby system and you get no juice for that. Nobody fears you for that, nobody picks you from the team first for that. They're like a little here comes see with his sister, he must know what he's doing. No. So I had a resentment, I had inferiority complex from when I was very, very young. Tommy, did your brothers? You have brothers? Yes, seemed, yeah, but you're very good looking. So that is she was showing too. When you walk to the playground, you got no juice. It's the same thing. And so I felt inferior from the very beginning and I always knew my problem was because I didn't have brothers. In my block every family had brothers. The waguments three brothers, the woollie's three brothers, the cohens three brothers, the mundingers three brothers, the wagonments three brothers. ME, Short, Chubby system. By the time I took the first drink of Maneshevit's Jewish table wine at twelve, I was like it's exactly what I need. I am not going to be able to change my my family. I'm half Jewish, half Italian. You...

...get no juice on that, don't you know? that. That doesn't give you any juice. I got shot in the eye when I'm twelve. I'm walking around with one eye. No juice. I got no brothers, but when I took that drink, that trink allowed me to have a piece and a confidence about me that nothing else would bring me, including lying about every single thing of my life. I lied about every part of my life. I lied about having a big brother. I told everybody my brother was a professional football player. I lied. I lied about the car I drove. I drove a four cylinder. Listen to my neighborhood, in our neighborhood, if you're somebody who drove an I roxy or a fire bird, I had a dots in betwo time and you're an Italian in my neighborhood with the donsond to ten, no juice. Everything in my life was designed to make me feel horrible about myself. So I would change everything. My brother played in the professional for eight it my brother is Jerry Boyarski. He's a professional football player. Lie My car. You think it's a dotson. It's not. It's a two AC lie. I went bought a shifter at the store for four dollars and I screwed it onto the thing with with this stickshift is or her shifter. I told everybody I dropped it. I dropped the engine out. I put a new engine. It's it's a, it's a and I would and I would go with my for cylon on a pop. The lunch embarrassing when karate kid came out. That my error is the karate kid. When karate kid came out this, I'm SOM barrassed and tell you, but this is the God's artist truth. I dressed up in a karate uniform because I was in karate and I put the JETPAN thing for karate kid and I told everybody that I had studied under the masters in okanowl. I was never comfortable in my own skin. Now, if alcohol did for you what it did for me, and I know it did it for you, alcohol in any form and it makes you comfortable in your own skin and you don't have to lie about who you are anymore because you can become that person. You're not just going to give that up because of a couple D wives or treatment. You're going to hold onto that for as long as you possibly can. Write because you're going to hold onto that and that's what alcohol in any form did for me. So when it comes now to the seventh step of having these shortcomings removed, for us it's a life and death process that these shortcomings, the defects, will absolutely, one hundred percent kill you or you want to kill yourself. My Creator, I'm now ready for you to have all of me. I didn't want you to have any of me. I didn't know who you were. I'm getting back on the Potter's wheel. I'm asking you to remove my envy, I'm asking you to remove my jealousy, I'm asking you to remove my lust, I'm asking you remove my fury, because I can't live like this anymore. I am not happy, Joyce and free in a regular store like Home Depot. It is a it lay in mind place. For me there's no speace and serenity unless I could see that any life lived on self will is going to be destructed. And before you run out of here and say you know why there's no solution, there is. It's him. Trust God, Clean House, help others, Peter M says, carry the water, chop the wood. It's the same thing. It's...

...going to take work and what I didn't know my first time around, because in the big book alcoholics anonymous, this step six and step seven is in one page, one page. It's only one page in the big book. The big book says in the forward we are one hundred men and women that have recovered from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. But you and I know, Chris, what happened. Some of those people that recovered in the first one hundred they dragged again and die by the time they wrote the twelve and twelve doddred right, they made entire chapters to six and seven because they realize that some of their friends that they loved died of the defects of character. They were recovered and they weren't. So when you hear people today say they're recovered, there's nothing wrong with that. People really do believe and they are recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of money, no problem. Up of nine about a no problem. But they're doing the work daily to stay recovered from that disease. In the mind, in the beginning of the first one hundred they thought you do the steps, you're recovered, we're good. Now let's go out and tell of the people about it. And it worked for a bunch of them, but a bunch of them it didn't. And then they looked at the at the big book, and they realize where my fault, in the Big Room, where Mike can do better, and you where you can do better, is. Let's spend some more time talking about the step that separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls and shortcomings that's killing our flock. Flock that first one hundred. Every time you hear someone go out, you're going to hear something like that. You stopped going to meeting. Ego. They focused on making money, pride, they started shooting steroids. Ego, they stopped going to meetings. Sloth, laziness. They're slipping around town lost. That guy was a real jerk anyway. Ego. I think I was a hard guy to talk to. Anger. Every time we hear someone go out, it's not what we're saying. We're very rare, very rare. I mean people can have a bad day, they can go to the hospital, they can get they can go to surgery, they can get something prescribed to them that could send them out. They can die from that. There's a million reasons to relax. Don't don't I'm not acting like I know everything I'm saying, but I'm saying in my life, I just gave you that my life. My life was steroids, pride, sleeping around town, lost, did go to meeting, sloth. When I went to meetings, I drove my my suped up sports car and parked right in the front ego. I you know what helps me to stay centered in this program? There was a guy in my home group, Tall Tommy. I don't remember when you told Tommy, Tommy are and I'm in dtalks. I'd seven years and now I'm in dtos. And told Tommy is bringing the meeting in from Melrose Park Group, into the foreloading a hospital and the foreload of hospital. Back in the day they'd bring you downstairs to the cafeteria and they'd have a meeting and most of the people there they didn't want to go to the meeting. So it was like only two or three of us and we they brought us down to the meeting in our slippers. Not Slippers, they're they're paper slippers and in our I was in a gown. Not everyone was in a gown. I was on Suicide Watch, so I had a gown. I didn't have my shoes. Other people that were in the higher in saying category they had shoots. Somehow they felt that I was going to hang myself with my shoelaces at two hundred and fifteen. So I was, you know, shuffing the shuffling along. It's very, very hard...

...to look cool in those slippers and also they take your hair to all the way, which to me was an atrocity. So can imagine how cool I looked. I wasn't thor seen, but but no hair jel. It was the same for me. Okay, that's might as well give me thorty. I that that is like. So my hair is it is all a mess. I'm in the gown, I got the sill slippers and there's Tall Tommy bringing the meeting in from my home, from one of my home rooms, from one of my groups, Tall Tommy, and I remember two things I hope I never forget from eighteen and from nineteen years ago. One is the Tall Tommy and what is the Ritchie from Liberty House? These two things I hope I never forget. Told Tommy. Tommy can borrow any cents for Soda? I'd ask a guy from my home group that was taken a meeting in there. May I get eighty cents for soda. I hope I don't forget that. I'm very and I don't say this to post, I want you to know I'm very easy with buying people things in early recovery. Don't come up to me afterwards. You got to catch me an earlier in the day because people took care of me and early recover they took they bought me meals, they took me to the launder met, they show me how to shop, they took me to publics, they took me and they put stuff in my card. Tall Tommy gave me money for Soda. And then when I showed up at Liberty House a couple a couple weeks later from the Fort Larn the hospital, and Richie looks at me and he goes, Stevie, you coming here to speak, and then he sees I got no fire in my eyes, I got no bounce in my step. I got my luggage, my win dixie bags, one for the clean, one for the dirty, one for the toilet tries, and he says like this to me, Stevie, you coming to speak, and then his eyes focused and never I hope I never forget this. My friends and my knowing that this is big deal for me and I always get emotional. And then he said to me, would you like a sandwich? I hope I never forget that. I went from a guy that was driving a sports convertible car, big shot, to the twelve stubhouse or three piece matching Gucci Luggage and I wound up at Liberty House like three piece of mismatching when Dixie bags and then mis she says to me, would you like a sandwich? And you know what I said to Michael. You know what I said to Richie. Yes, said to me, do you have a towel? Would you like a sandwich? Yes, and I hope that I never get back on the Potter's wheel and jump off, because I think I've arrived. I hope my stay on the Potter's wheel and when Ego and pride and lust and all the other defects of character in the shortcome, he's come back. I pray that I have a crowd of witnesses around me and I'm teachable enough that you can pull me decide say you know what, you're really acting like a jerk. Your pride. You know you really acting like a Jermor, you really came across like this. You know you could have answered more loving. I hope, I hope, I pray that I have a team of people around me that bring me straight to the tent step on any day and give me the golden rule of the ten step. Were you kind and loving towards all? Because if I keep those type of people around me, those people that speak honesty into my life, then I'll never again have to be there again with the sandwich situation, or much worse, because it's times we get into our life when nobody even cares that we have a sandwich. Isn't that true? We've even burned the Richie, we've even burned the Ritchie Bridge, and next week we're going to talk...

...about how to get into some real action with a pen and paper and stop pussy footing around and and go into meetings with no sponsor and or whether sponsor by name, and talking about your bid in the fourth step for two years or eight months. It's never two years. You never in the four step for two years because you always restarting again. Four step, eight months, for step eight months, for step eight months, and you keep wondering why you're starting again because you're not willing a dump the garbage. So next week we're going to talk about making a list. God bless you guys. Thanks for being very WHO'S UNCLEHOL.

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