AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode 24 · 2 years ago

Stevie B Step 4 - Gimbels @ Spread The Word Group 2020 rocketed.org

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Everybody. My name is Steven B, I'm a recovering alcoholic and I'm a member of the Golden Text Group of in Dania of alcoholics anonymous, and thank you so much. Only thing I would like to say is it's not my God, it's just God. Yeah, it's just God. The third step, says God, as you understand him. He's got a first name. You know what it is. God. Does anybody have a seat for Betterans? So it does that to sit on the floor, and I can't do the meaning like this. Come on, one seat right there. It Scott A. Grab that seat, yeah, but grabbed the scene and bring it over to her. Bring that seat over. I'm doing a meeting over here with a veteran on the floor. God's got a first name. It's God. That's it. Then it's as I understand them. And once I got that concept, once I figured it out that that in alcoholics anonymous there's only like very, very few places, one, I think, in the big book of alcoholics anonymous, that it mentioned higher power, but there's over four hundred places, in the first four hundred sixteen places in it, for in the first four hundred sixteen pages, that they mentioned God. Creative, the universe, spirit of the Universe, Almighty capital h him. So as I'm reading the book, it looks like the the main focus for me is to find a power greater than myself, God, that will change me so that I don't so I don't remain the same person that I came in. As you see, no amount of time is going to do that. No amount of time is going to change you. Saying that I'm here six years, so I'm changed is like a person going into a garage and spending six years in their expecting to come out a car. Time is just one of the recipe, one of the ingredients in a recipe that would change you. Just one of the ingredients, but it's not the only ingredient. And I've known many people that have been sober many years. They go away for a long term, they come out of whatever long term they're in and they use again. So have the person didn't have eight years? Yeah, they had eight years, but they remained the same person that they were eight years ago. So our whole goal is we go through the steps and traditions, with the traditions tonight. Tell me what's the trisition? I'm sorry, what's the principle behind step forth courage. And Yeah, what second guests in Yourself? I'm sorry, I I mean to throw you a curve there. Tonight would tell him about courage. Do you know why? The principle behind the four step is courage? because it takes courage to write down your for step right now. But until now it took honesty and it took faith and hope of a better life. But now it becomes courage. And I'm not going to ask you on who has written their for step in here, because during this time it always people always like to raise their hand. If you though, they haven't done it. So I'm not going to ask you to do it so that you have to add something to your friends to for step. Anyway, if you haven't done your for step, and let's say I'm just going to give you a time frame. It's not an exact science, but say you've been here three months and you haven't done your for step, I want to say to you why? Why haven't done you done your for step, because no one will take you through it. Well, someone should take you through and if no one will take you through it, you can get to the big book and you can open up the big book and they'll tell you exactly how to do your for step. As you're searching out the perfect sponsor if no one's available, say you're in a halfway house or treatment center. You...

...coming here tonight and you feel like nobody's available, but you got some stuff and you need to get it out. You don't want to drink again and you want to change. You can go right to the big book, where talks about right after how it works and which we read tonight, and it's going to teach you how to write down your for step. And the four step is basically this. It's for columns. I'm sure it's. It was not really for calm, but it's. It's four different parts. The first one is resented. You don't resentment. is resented. Was Resent the man? Anything? We re feel right, anything, why we feel? The big book says that resentment is the number one offender. Every time that person's name comes o horse your head or comes out of your lips, you like that's a resentment. I had a resentment against the Hollywood police department. They didn't do anything wrong, but in my mind I thought, I felt that they did something wrong. Until I read the police report that Jerry got me about myself and I was like wow, I really wrong them. I should be on there for step. So anything that you have a resentment, that you're re feeling, that you feel, that is something. And go all the way back goal it, back to your kid. I recommend my sponsors that they start in the old days. They start when they're a kid. Get on your knees, go before you're right. You know you're I'm going to say something. You're right. Go before your God, your concept of God, because because it's how you process God, go before God, get on your knees and ask God to open up your mind to all your resentments. If you don't and you're in a good mood, you're going to do one of these things. I've had many people. Oh, drew manafact you he gets. Pick it up one ear drew's entire four step one day when he was in a good mood, the entire four step, all the four categories, fear, resentments, self, all the stuff was on one page. He had the entire force. He was in a good mood. So I really don't have any resembles. I'm going a good mood. I so will go back home and pray that the Lord opens up your mind to your resentments. And if you raise your hand right now, I be honest, rage am right now. If you feel like you don't have a lot of resentments, Jane, come on, be honest. You'd feel you don't have a lot of resentments right. Well, if you really think about it and think about the institutions that's wronged you, think about politicians that you feel are cheating, think about the country that maybe so upsetting you, things in the country, that department of motor vehicles, if you really start to go through a traffic okay, don't tell me you don't resent traffic. I see some of the way you drive. It's ridiculous. So you really, if you ask God to illuminate, if you ask God to show you all your resentments, before you know it you got a page of stuff that you didn't even realize. Okay, plus, without even starting in your family of origin, family of origins, what mom, Dad, brother, sister and uncle? Man, that's so there should be some good juice in there. Just should, because it's some good heat in there. And and I asked God to open up my whole mind. Jack, would there's million seats here Jack, there's no reason for you stand. I asked God to open up my whole mind when I was doing it, a silly resentment that I had against my dad that I didn't even know it was a resentment and he didn't really mean anything by it. was because I asked God to to help me remember all my resentments so that I don't I wouldn't have any energy behind it. What does that mean? Energy behind like when you see somebody and you resent them, it hurts you. They they might not even know you have energy behind it. So you see them, Oh, you see Oh, you hear them, and then and then you're this energy behind you want to try to get as much energy away, bad energy, away from any of these type of feelings. So I was thinking about my dad, my dad that adopted me, that you guys know stay and he's just the most beautiful man. But my dad was a tough, tough dad. Okay, my Dad's military dad and military dad's are tough and they only know one way. Discipline.

Discipline are pretty you know, like that kind of stuff. And they were I'm like, Hey, let me talk about you, about it, like hey, like Carl was just did the how it works and so I was standing at attention from the time I was three in my underwear. They have pictures of it. I was staying in Atency to sit foot dude like when I was three, you know I mean. And so I had some stuff about that. And then I remember one time I just needed my daddy, I didn't need the sergeant, and I crawled up on his lap, and this is true story, and I crawled up on his lap and he told me. I know this is going to seem silly, but it it hurt me and I didn't know it until I wrote it down on my four step. I crawled up in his lap and he pushed me away and he said get off me, you stick and you think that's funny, but it's not funny because it hurt. So when I when I wrote it down, it's funny to you because it didn't happen to you, but isn't funny to me. I needed to write it down. You see, it doesn't it? Most of the entire room just laughed, but to me it hurt. Now it doesn't have any power over me, but in the it but when I first wrote it down, if you would have laughed and you were within striking distance from me. You wouldn't have laughed again when when I first wrote that down. If you were within this type of parameter, you get a whack real quick. You you know Wat right you throte, because it hurt. Now when I say it, I realized I was eight or nine, or six or five, and when I crawled up on his lap, I probably stand. You wouldn't have said it wasn't like it was trying to scar me for life. When you write that stuff down and then you go across the columns, like where was I to blame in this situation? One of the columns is, where were you to blame? We have plenty of seats, ton of seats up here to there's no really no reason for anyone to be staying out. Is that your choice? No, not, you easy. Is that your choice? Starting to be standing? Just what? Prefer stand. You're standing also. You like to stand. It's good. So there's going to be columns. One of the columns is what happened. Describe it. No, the column is what what? What did it affect? What did that effect? When my dad told me I stand, if affect my self estate? It really did affect my selfesteem so much so to this day, I'm going to share some way. To this day I take two showers a day, maybe three, and I don't have OCD. I'm always worried about when he told me when I was six that I stay. It's a big deal for me. Two to three showers every day, not not when I was smoke crack, but oh Christa meth invy know. But during that time I forgot about that part of my four step. I just obliterated and didn't shower. But since then two three showers a day I'm very conscious of. So it left. It left a mark on me and left the mark on my soul. When it gets to the column, where where was I to blame in it? Really the only part that I was in to blame it is I wasn't showered as a little king because I was running around outside. So it's not that really. I don't it doesn't have a lot of heat in that one column. When you six, seven, eight, eight, nineteen ten, you really don't have a lot to be blamed about. Now some of you guys have molds station. So you've been you've been molested and worse. You're going to need to write that down. You need to write it down, because you got to start giving some of that power away from the act, from the act that happened. You got to write down. You got to write down this person's name because when you share it with your sponsor, you want to be able to give that to your sponsor. You want to be able to give you that to the Lord at the same time. Now, in the column where you were to blame, absolutely, you don't know nothing. In the calm we're talking about you being molested,...

...where you to blame. That's you just leave that blanket. That's a that's an ending, because you had nothing to be responsible for that. But you want to make sure that you share with your sponsors so that you and your sponsor could give that to God when you're done with the fifth step, that one thing that happened. It's going to have less power over you. It's going to have less power. That's really the key of the fourth and fifth step. You want to be able to get the stuff that's out that you don't want garbage. Raise your handed. You want to have garbage. You walk around a garbage you bring garbage with your meetings. You Stink and people are like, wow, you have a lot of garbage. You seem like a really garbage person. Nobody wants to be your friend. You got a lot of garbagers and you like garbage. I don't have garbage. I don't want to bring garbage with the Antony am. You want to bring garbage with you. You got to get you got to dump that stuff out. That's why the Trans Man doesn't come once a year, comes twice a week, because you got to get that stuff out. And that's what we're doing in the fifth step, in the fourth and fifth step. Fourth is writing down, fifth step is given them. Were going to do the fourth and fifth tonight and it's going to take courage. It's going to take courage to do this. Don't you think it's going to take courage to write down? Some of them molessed, you are raped, you. It's going to take courage to write down that in your fists and your for in your fourth step, where it comes to a resentments, it's going to take courage. Some of you guys, am looking at him right now. Some of you guys have had the worst parents you could possibly ever imagine on the planet. You have the word parents and your parents shouldn't even be the word parent you would put Guardian and then you would put the word next to it with with parentheses, psychopath. Some you have that. One of the one of the men's side of this room has a psychopath. Dad. I've sponsored in for last twelve years. He had a psychopath that. I don't know what happened to his dad. That is dad to can't see the difference between right and wrong, but that's a psychopath. They can't see the difference. Video a sociopath. I'm sorry, they can't see the difference. Three his dad was a sociopath. He did nothing wrong. He said to be bored to that family. He got a sociopath that. If he carries that every single day into every single reactions, into every single interaction with every single man that ever comes in contact with, what's going to happen is he's Never gonna have a relevant, healthy relationship with any men. So he's going to need to give that to a sponsor, which he did give it to me and he also gave it to his first sponsor. So praise God. Is He's a lot more freer today's good's. That makes sense. He's a lot more freer today. Now that's the resentment category. That's a big deal. The resentment. It's going to take courage. The next one I'm going to talk about, because it's a big one for me, is fear. You don't have to raise your hand, because I know that's some of you won't even be able to, but the fear category is serious business. Fear of people, real or imagine, Felix. Fear of situations, real or imagine. Fear of failure, real or imagine. Fear of institutions, fear of situations, fear of public, fear of speaking, fear of being noticed, not noticed, fear being made fun of. FERE'S A big deal. That's a matter of fact. The big book says it's a driving force of most alcoholics and drug accts, doesn't? They drug acts, but alcoholics. It's a driving force and staying it's something that really brings us to places that we don't want to go. We sit, we do things to impress people that we don't even know and do things that will put our situations in jeopardy just because, out of fear, will stay with people that we shouldn't be with out of fear. I wasn't looking at you, Tammy, and Tommy, you just he was different. Not In the beginning. Yes, in the beginning, yesst I wasn't crazy about Tommy, but I'm crazy about that. People stay in bad relationships,...

...relationships that will continue to keep them using, because they are fearful of being alone. They're fearful of the other person being with somebody else. They're fearful of being alone, they're feelful the never going to meet anywhere else, so they'll hang on to a bad relationship that's killing them instead of being alone. So of you shaking your head like this, yes, that's a fact. The world is full of bad relationships because people feel you. People make bad decisions based on fear. So we got to put all that stuff in the common which one of my big fears. I'mthing Jerry being around as big fear of mine. Working on that one day to time. My God, I'm in they're going to pop ups. It speaking. But but I got major fears. Oh, I'll say I'll take a fear. That just happened recently. It's not major's doesn't need to be on a four step category. But I'm still very, very upsetable myself and I have to let this go. I don't know how I'm gonna let us go. But one of my heroes, one of the guys that I love like. I'm a big John Travolta Fan, okay, big, big, big fan, and don't tell me about scientology and know those kinds, that noney business. Is a big Fan, big fan of it. Got All those movies and I know it's dance moves. Not Saying I got a perfect but I know and I certainly know he's dance moves from Greece. Lightly, I got the grease lightning down, not as not a time to do it, but if I wanted to, I could do it. And I'm friend of mine, no knew I was a big, big grease fan, and invited me last month to go and be in a concert where John Travolta and Olivia Newton John Sang and we did a sing along with them and everyone was dressed up like them and if you're a fan of was a big deal. And it's like five thousand people and I was all the way in the back. Somehow our take it to where the last row in the entire theater, but I'm still grateful to be there. But I means literally the last row. You go to the last row of a concert. That's where I was sitting, in the last row. But as we were walking out, I just couldn't stop myself from going to the front and nobody was stopping me, so I just kept walking and I started to see their closer, closer, living new John. If you don't know who that person is, that's the other person, that's the star of Greece. And I just kept walking and I was like as far as like John H Volton, Michael Right here, John Volta was right there. And then, out of nowhere, he says, who would like to come up on the stage and dance grease lightning with me? And he looks right at me like I'm looking at you, Michael, and during and I had the whole outfit on or you and I had the t shirt, I had the tea Burd, I had the whole thing, hair, gree stuff. I'd longer hair back then, before Jerry took told me to do all my size and cut off my hair. And and he looked right at me. My Hero, John to Volten look aread at me and said anyone like to come up and do grease lightning? I want. I didn't coop. My wife pushed me I couldn't move all these years I had envision myself do in grease light. I had been in plays before, I had played him before, I had ever, I'm told him, on a big band. He looked right at me. Goes anyone that wants to do all they that I can do can. I knew them. I apparently have a fear of up dancing in public. That apparently have that fear, but there's a lot of fear. I have a fear of heights. I've I have a horrible, crazy, irrational phobia of heights. That's what a vote is. It's a ration, it's a rational I have a fear of heights. You write those fears down. I have a fear of failure, big time. Write them down, okay, get them out, sharing with somebody and and then that this was going to happen. You sponsors going to have fears to and then your sponsors going to write janity sponsor is going to say this is what I...

...got and you going to feel better. And and then you got harms caused others. You're going to need courage for this. Harms caused, though you know why. Some of the harms you cause others cannot be undone. Some of the harms that you've caused other people cannot be undone. They can only be worked in the ninth step. Would make an amends, but they can't be undone. You sold so you stole Julia from a person's house and stole their heirlooms to their grandmother or their mother that they've had in their family for generations and you sold it at a pawn shot for twenty dollars and now it's gone. You can't undo that. You still need to come out. We got plenty of room run you. You can't undo that. You still need to write it down. Write it down. I know it hurts to see it. I know it hurts to see it. But what what is going to be? The prince will in this step that's going to help carry you through Andrew, courage. You're going to need courage to write this stuff down. And it hurts. It hurts when you say stuff that you've done to other people. It hurts. You don't want to say it, you'd think if you don't mention it and you just pretend it didn't happen. Well, this is important. Pay Attention. I see some of your fad now I know some of the steps are going to actually take work, and this is one of them. So that's why you fade now, because alcoholic sometimes we don't like work and then we just phase out when we really want to be on a facebook down stad hearing this. But every this is really, really important. This is really important. Pretending that, I think that pretending that something didn't happen is never going to work because at the worst time, at two o'clock in the morning, when you're hanging on to your sobriety, it's going to come back that ring that you sold, that person that you molested, that thing that you did, that person you punched, that person you stole from that put all that stuff it. You may put it down in a place where you will never speak about it again, but at two o'clock in the morning, when you can't sleep, it's calling you. It's like you did this, you like I didn't do that, and any things that you know you did. And what you want to be able to do is share the burden with another person and with God. That's the fifth step. The fifth step we admitted to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs, and you want to be able to get that out. There's nothing in my life to know. I there's there's regrets I have with big book says we will not regret the passion or wish to shut the door on it. There is one regret that I have, but other than that, and I'm sure there's more of I think about it, other than that, there's nothing that keeps me awake at two o'clock in the morning because I've shared every single solitary thing. This is a fact. I've shared every single solitary bad thing I've ever done in my life with another alcoholic and and the top three worst things I've ever done I've shared with at least three people in Alcoholics anonyms in the church. But make sure that I get that stuff out. I don't want to be walking all of a sudden other voice because either hear a piece of garbage with WHO said that? Your few your hypocrite, you're a liar. I want to I want to make sure that those voices don't have any credence, don't have any truth. When that when that kind of stuff says to me, can I get me a man? Amn just means you agree, and so that's that's the that's the harms caused other categories. Let me give you a big one that I did. I worked at gimbles when I was a kid. Gibbles was a major apart the partmer store. Andrew, you hit the story. gimbles made to department store and it was in Long Island, New York. Tommy, you remember Gimbeles? Is that before your time? That's because you like eleven, but people in my age category we had gimbles is like before. It was like be sure you don't remember Gimble's? GIMBALS. Is You remember gimbles? Day from...

...the south, build before Walmart. When you're from the south, everything is either before Walmart or after law and that's that's your time. That's your time frame. Is being before Jesus and after Walmart. That's okay, that's how they do everything. It was even before Walmart, David, that's right before Walmart, Charlie, we got a plenty of chairs up here, man. And I was working at Gimble's I was sixteen years old. It was my senior year of college at high school. Excuse me, sixteen, Seventeen, more like sixteen. And and to me gimbals was a place where there was a lot of extra merchandise that I didn't think it was very salable and and and I really felt it was in my best interest for the company to get rid of a lot of stuff it was never going to sell anyway. So if you want to buy something, and they got a hold all these racks of clothes that that that are in the way of good stuff, I felt, almost like Robin Hood, that I would at the end of the day, I would fill up the I was the garbage kid. I would I was in charge of garbage and boxes and all that kind of stuff. So I would fill up the the the what he calls shopping car of all different clothes that I wanted that I didn't feel would sell, and I would bring it out with the garbage and I fill up boxes and boxes and boxes of clothes, I mean of garbage, with the clothing and on my own time, I would come back outside of the dupper and I would remove it from from from for Gimbals, I would remove all this merchandise and take it off their hands, almost like I was a almost a buyer in a sense, but but not actually with any authority. So I would I would take stuff that I wanted I put it in my card, I put it behind the dumpster. At the end of the day I would go and I would pick it up and I would remove it from the property and and I never really think much of it. And as I'm doing my Bistep, my sponsor sent me you don't have a lot of theft in here. I know you don't have a lot of theft in here. You sold some rings and stuff that were given to you, but you're one of the few crack addicts I've ever met that really doesn't have any theft. I'm like, you know, I'm a very honest guy. I'm very honest guy. I said a drug from a very honest guy. I mean when I was, you know, in high school, I stole a couple things from gimbals. He said, tell me about that, and I started to do the numbers. I mean how many nights that I take out truck car loads of clothing, electronics, lamps, whole home air cleaners? I mean, I'm thinking myself, why is it gimbles need a whole home air cleaner that's to bring that home moving and and and the reason I tell you that is I'm a thief. But before my face step. If you would have called me a thief, I would have been offended. I've been like wow and I'm not a thief, but I am a thief. I was a thief. I stole from gimbals big time and I owe gimbals a very serious financial amends. That'll talk to you about in a ninth step. I know you don't think it's funny, but the only thing that the only thing that counts in doing the steps is rigorous honesty. No rigorous means absolute honesty. I owe gimbals an immense and I'm going to talk to you about nine and ten step on how I did that the ninth time. When we do that a couple weeks from now, I'm going to tell you how I made a men's the gimbals. Also my friend John Ricabono, I was the manager of his store. He had a he had a fast food restaurant. I went to school for a hospitality management he had been managing his store and I stole a lot of things from his store. I didn't feel it was stealing. I SIS still rolls of I'm truly I really didn't feel it was stealing. I would, I would take roles of quarters and I would play video games in his store, in his place,...

...during the time I was supposed to be managing. But I'm talking about like video games. For a long time, back in the day, we didn't have video games on a device. You have to play it on a machine. I would take sleeves of quarters and play, you know, maybe twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty dollars during a shift. Well, I stole two things during that time. I stole the quarters, I stole the time and plus I also stole cases and cases of whip cream. It was an ice cream place. It's not very compassionate room, is it? But I didn't really steal the whip cream, I just told the gas out of the whip cream every day when people would come in the next day to get Sundays. They all are Sunday and the thing we're just going to that's wrong. I did go back and make amends to Burg as a company for that. That's the name of the restaurant, John Rickabone. So those are harms caused, though. Those are couple. Those are a couple not so big ones. I'm not sharing the ones that I would share with my sponsor because I got some ones in there that you wouldn't laugh. I have some harms caused others that wouldn't let maybe you would be your warped but other than Richard here, if I shared you some real harms caused others, you'd feel sorry for that person. But you know who you really feel sorry for me. I'm some stuff in there I can't undo and I've some stuff in there I can't forget and I have some stuff in there that people that I've done it too, they won't forget. So when we go to the ninth step in the next couple weeks, I'm going to talk to you about how to go back and make it right, not make it forgotten, but make it right. Amen. And now here comes the big category. For a lot of us, it's sexual harms caused others. Not to be confused with all the sex you've had in your life. That's not this condom category. Okay, this is sexual harms caused others. It's not how many times you've hooked up, this is the things you did wrong that have to do with sex, and we don't want to talk about it. We're like, I don't know, but you got it. You got it, you've done it. Own It, give it away and don't have to take it too with it in the next meeting with you. Everybody in here has sexual harms caused other everybody in here. You say I'm a version. Well, I don't know how, I don't know what done. You did something. That's between you and God. You did something, okay, and you want to write it down. I got a whole bunch of stuff in my category. Stuff I wish I didn't do, stuff I wish I could take back. Actions that I did, lies that I made, promises that I made that were completely broken that, as I said them when new, are lies. People that I had become so that you would like me, so you would sleep with me, and I wasn't that person. People have cheated on, people have lied that I've cheated on, people that I've lived that I've cheated on, and even when they caught me, I still lied that that wasn't me and I broke my intergrity across the board. I was wrong in a lot of situations over my life sexually, and I can't go back at fifty two and go find the eighteen year old girl that I lied to when I was in college and back then in team was was legal, and say to her this and I'm really sorry for that thing that I did. You know, I told you that I was going to be yours and I already had a girlfriend. I never called you. I can't go back and change them because because I don't know that person, that person doesn't know me. I'm sure...

...they're not thinking about me today. But I'm going to, we're going to. I'm going to share with you, when we get to the ninth step, on how we can make amends and really really make commands like you did. Like when it comes to the ninth step, faith without works is dead. You're going to do a lot of work in your nice step, but what's going to be exciting is, and Nancy'll tell you, Jenneral tell you, mad I'll tell you anyone that's worth the ninth step. Man, when you when you're in the middle of the nine step, you're going to really know that you're the real deal. Two steps. You're really going to know you're the real deal. What is this step? The fourth and fifth step. Two steps, the fifth step and the ninth step. Right, Matt, you're really going to know you're the real deal when you're in the middle of the fifth step and you're telling someone the worst things you've ever done, you'll know that you're not faking alcoholics, anonymous, I mean you. This is like something you don't just fluff into. And also when you get to the ninth step and you go back to that person, in some of the case is a simple one to do so would injure them or others, and you sit in front of another person say this and I wronged you. This is how I did it and I will, I'm ready to make amends for it. You know you're not faking it. You know you're in. And that's why it says it halfway through the Nice step that if you you'll be amazed before your halfway through. Right, right, you'll be amazed before your halfway through, because you're sitting there in front of the person you've harmed and you're telling them you've harmed them and how can you make it right? And you're like there's an inner voice saying to you, like this, man, you're really in this, you're really doing good, don't turn back, don't hurt around, keep walking bold. You gotta dump in later dropping. Those are the four columns. Resentments, fears, harms caused other and sexual harms caused others. You don't have to write down all the Times you try to have sex. That's not what this column is okay, you need with you on ipaid to figure that out. It's not about you having sex, it's about the things you did wrong that have to do with sexual conduct. It's going to limit big time on what you need to share with your sponsor. Now, if you feel you need to write down every single thing you've ever done wrong, that has to do that. In your mind, that has to doing sexual and you feel like you need to share that with your sponsor. Your sponsors smart enough to tell you after the third or fourth person where you were wrong in and you say no, no, I wasn't wrong in it. I just want to tell you that I met this person as guy in the movie. Your sponsor is gonna be like this. This is not a cook you know, it's not a soap opular. We just we just need to focus on the places you lied to someone else and and did this, and then you're going to move through it. Amen. And this was going to happen at the end of the day, at the end of the fourth fifth step. You'RE gonna get to a place where you're like, why didn't I do a sooner? Why didn't I do it sooner? I want everybody that is in their current sobriety that has already finished the fifth step to raise your hand. Well, it's a good that's a good amount of people. That's a good a amount of people. That's a good amount of people, Connor, that's great, man. I'm going to pray for your sponsor. Ever Seen Your Fist? Connor? I'm I my truthful and saying that once you got that out, you were like so much. You felt so much leaner, you felt so much cleaner and you felt so much lighter. And you're like, why I do it sooner? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know what he said, but it's yeah, he's a surfer an, he has like a whole thing. Yeah, it. You just want to get that stuff out now. I'm not going to ask you to raise your hand because that would be silly, but some of you in here feel like you're the worst person that ever walk the planet. I want you knock. Done some fifth steps with people that have murdered and have committed murder, and I've done some fifth steps or some people that have committed other trustees. I want you to know that there's no sin, there's nothing that you've done wrong that God can forgive with a contrite heart, which means a heart...

...that is really wants to be forgiven. So what's great is you're off the hook. You are off the hook, and so them on. We are off the hook. The big book says that we have been reborn and that we don't have to be bound up in the stuff that we used to do, because we're not the people we used to be. We may not be the people we want to be, but we're certainly not the people we used to be, and that's good news and that good news. That's real good news. So you don't have to carry this into all different meetings and that I'm the worst person that ever lived and no one's ever done this. And know we no one's ever been a peep in Tom and no one's ever been to this place. If no one else was ever peep in town, they wouldn't have a name, for someone else did it before you and they named it, like who's that guy looking in the windows? People Tom Seen that? He see's already been done. You're not the first person to where someone else's clothes. Other ways there wouldn't be oh, I heard of that could have been done before. So there's nothing that you ever done that wasn't was not created by something that not God long ago. So just get it out. Does that make sense? And then you can feel free. And let me tell you something. Everybody in here likes ice cream. Everybody in this room, Ryan, pay attention is a poor one. Everybody in this room likes ice cream. One time when I was in a group about fifty people, one guy raised his hand said he didn't like ice cream. If to careful scrutinies, scrutinization, we saw that he liked some other type of frozen dessert. It was like Soul Bay or Gelato or exactly. If it's frozen and it's taste good, it's an ice cream problem. That's right, exactly. So, just because someone in here likes duty fruity and someone in here likes rocky road and someone in here likes chocolate, somebody here likes Vanelle, we all like ice cream in one way in form of done. So we really have to just start to realize that alcoholics anonymous, is never exclusive. It's all inclusive. Alcoholics anonymous is all inclusive, never exclusive, you understand. And once we get to that place where we start to walk on this broad highway, we're going to start to feel like, Hey, we can do this hand in hand together, we can do this hands again together. We're not going to judge each other. We're not going to judge each other because we're going to help each other. And this is where we get into the spiritual principle, of the spiritual principle behind this, which is courage. Courage. The big book says that all men of faith, we just had a new man of faith is walking. How you doing, man, and to see it, man of faith right there. All men of faith have courage. The big book says that all men and women of faith have courage. Do you know why? Men and women of faith have courage? because it takes faith and courage to say that you're a man or woman of God, so wonderful that you just walked in ready to think that exact moment. Brother, no, I'm serious, it's really it's awesome because because aware of Yamaka, showing that your religious person right there shows how much courage that person has as a person of courage. It's a man of faith and the big book says that we never apologize for being men and women of faith. We don't apologize. I was in a medium cuple weeks ago with someone said, Hey, I'm really sorry, I'm going to mention God in the meeting. Listen, you're supposed to mention God. Let mean the big book talks specifically about how your relationship with God will change you from the inside out and make you the person that you you not what you used to be, the person that you want to be. And I'm looking at a whole bunch of change...

...people in here. I made fun of my friend Dave over there, but just playing around with the Walmart thing. But as a change guy from when I met a mere going to change God and it's going to take a lot of work. I want you to know that change is not easy. Can you just say that change is not easy? City, I want you to know that change is not easy, but with God all things are possible. Can you say that with God all things a possible? It's aboutter of fact, with my friend Jerry pointed out to me today, and I'd see use that term friend now, because we love them, and he said to me. Not only is it possible, it's probable. With God, all things are probable. And the last thing I want to leave you in this you might be in a place right now where you got no money coming in, you're living with people that you don't know, you're not related to, you don't even like them. They leave dishes in the sink. You know, I how did I get to this place in my life where I'm sleeping next to a guy named Julio and he laves dishes in the same well, this is what I want you to know, all right, not Julio, Sarah, whatever, whatever it is. Sorry, I offended Julio. I Apologize. That's what I want to share with you. Don't look around your circumstances right now, which is what I got caught up in the beginning of the week. I think you texted me, John, and I gave you some said text back and Jen's I praise. Well, I'm like, woe is me, I give you some thumb sucking crybaby text that I had. I didn't even know how if I can get them. I could even text because I had both my thumbs in my mouth and I would texting like this. Don't look at your circumstances right now for where you're going to be in the next six months, because God does not work in a vacuum. He's not looking at where you're at right now to see where you're gonna go. However, like my friend Carl, who I predicted would not be here this week because every single time on the second of the month, at two o'clock in the morning he leaves to get his money and by thirty he's smoking crack. However, Carl is the one that read how it works. This week it's one week after the second. What is today's Day? Today's the six it's four days after the second and Carl is still with us. Carl decided last week or two weeks ago, when we threw the gauntlet out, when we challenge him, then it was going to be a different second, even though the last four two the last four seconds of each month, including a month where he was inside a hospital and the director of the hospital text me say you know this Guy Carl, and I go yeah, I'm not going to talk to him till the third and he was gone. On the second. Carl decided last week that he wasn't going to use the past to predict his future, that he was going to do everything he needed to do in his present to dictate the future. I'll see you next week, God willing, will talk about the fifth step and the sixth. I'M.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (122)