AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode · 1 year ago

Russell S. Step 7 at the Coral Room Zoom

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Step 7 from the Coral Room Zoom February 12, 2021  

... see you guys. Look at you guys. Well, I'll tell you they they leave combed the world to find the sicknest alcoholics possible, get them all one place. It's amazing. So listen. Would you guys like to do you? Do you want to be entertained or would you like the truth? Both entertainment. You know alcoholics. The truth. You know, says big book says what? What? What most people don't understand is that an alcoholic is a very sick person. Did you know that? I figured you guys would see both. So I'm going to give you some truth about my life and about the seventh step and I'm going to entertain because anybody here remember a comedian named Jack Benny. Look at these youngsters. You got a a lot of youngsters here Jack Benny. So I'm going to play you a Jack Benny thing that I got off for Youtube. I usually just sort of telling but I'm going to see what you guys can hear this. Hopefully we'll be able to hear it. So just listen. It's only forty one seconds long. Okay, is Jack Bennett is this. Here we go. Yeah, right, you maybe look, I think got money on Y'all. I'm thinking it over. Anybody hear that? Yes, goes up to Jack Benny says your money or your life? Your money or your life? Jack Benny says, I'm thinking. I'm thinking. So that's the problem. So the big book of Alcoholics, anonymous, says this. You know, by the way, Sandy beach once made this statement. Great Speaker, great, fantastic, a gut they rest of these. He said there's only one there's always only one problem for alcoholics. There's always only one problem for alcoholics, separation from God, separation from God, and there's always only one solution for alcoholics. There's always only one solution for alcoholics, a connection to God. Now it may take you five hundred and ten fifteen, two thousand and twenty five thirty years to come to the understanding that that statement is the truth, especially if you have an alcoholic personality like mine. But if you stick around for about forty years or so, or thirty years or twenty five years, you will come to understand that that with the big book is actually talking about is seeing to it that your relationship with him is right. So great events can happen in your life, that what it's really talking about is making a decision for God, a quality decision. So they'll give you everything you need if you stay close to him and perform whose works. Well, you're really understand that if you're an AA, you never apologized for God, you never apologize for God, that all men of faith have courage. They trust their God. Instead, they let them demonstrate in their life what he can do for them. You'll understand that. In alcoholics. Anonymous, who disabled the chat and why...

...did they do that? I don't like that. Well, and an even, it's it's this, it's this necessity for alcoholics to have total control because they're scared, you know. So that's why they disabled the chat, because I was going to add something on it, but apparently they're still there. We Go, don't do that, okay. So in anything. So the bottom line is you'll read that big book and and when you actually read the Black and white part and you actually consider the stuff that you really don't want to see, you'll see something. And chaptered to the agnostics. That says if a mere code of morals or better philosophy of life would help us. We'd be sober a long time ago. But didn't help us. And then you'll hear people in a talk about good, orderly direction or do the next right thing. A lot of people in a talk about good early direction and do the next right thing. But you're reading the Big Book, which is our basic text, which done said if a mere code of morals or better philosophy of life wouldn't work, we'd be all a long time ago. It didn't work, that those codes didn't work for us. You'll read we had to find a power greater than ourselves that would restore us the side that would work, and that means we have to we have a book where we have to talk about God. And then you'll see at the very end, and then it would say when it's talking to the Agnostics, in the alcoholic and the in the atheists, you'll see this line. I'll say this sort of thinking must be abandoned. This sort of thinking must be abandoned. This sort of thinking must be abandoned. Set Oven words. This sort of thinking must be abandoned, other words, to be sober and get all the meeting potatoes out of this thing. This sort of thinking must be abandoned and then you'll see in chap that's not going to say here's where alcoholics have a problem. The hackles on their next stand up because they don't want to talk about God. And you'll go to an egg group and you'll hear people talk about how their appear so out they're AGNOSTA's, how they don't like the God thing. There's too much talk about God and goes and you'll be kind of confused because she'll say I just read this book where it's a chapter to the agnostics and says this sort of thinking must be abandoned. It says good early direction doesn't work for us. You know, Marca Mall and I read this book and at the very end, the last line and in the chapter to the Agnostics, it says this God either is or he isn't. What is your decision going to be? God either is or he isn't. What is your decision going to be? And then you'll read Dr bottom the girld timers when he comes around to it in about ten or fifteen years, when you want more, and you'll see where Dr Bob was twelve stepping clarence room master and he walks in on them and the first thing that Dr Bob says to Clarence, who's on a bed, who weighs a hundred thirty five pounds, doesn't have any money, doesn't have any job, and he looks at Clarence and he says what do you think about all this? And Clarence says, I don't know. And then the first question Dr Bob Asks Him is this, do you believe in God, Young Fellow? And Clarence says, what does that have to do with it, and Dr Bob says everything, everything, and then Clarence says, well, I guess I do. And then Dr Bob says, guess nothing. You either do or you though. What is your...

...decision going to be? You either do or you don't, and he says, well, I do. He says good, now we can start. Get out of the bed and get on your knees. We're going to pray to him. He says, I don't know how to pray. I guess you don't. That's okay, you just do you just listen to me and follow along. And Clarence gets down on the knees by his hospital bed and does a prayer to God help him with his drinking, and then, and then Clarence says the following. He says I did what I was ordered to do. There was no suggestions. And then you go to an AA meeting it will hear somebody say we don't talk about God because it's scares away the newcomer. And so your you have a book that talks all about God. It says we're on the new basis, the base of trust, me, me line upon God. You know that's what it says. It says your real reliance, we know you don't know what you'll meet us. Your real reliance has to be on him. He'll even show you how to create the fellers you're praid. He'll even show you who to hang out with. And you have a book that talks all about God. Says there is one who has all power. That wanted God and you find him now, now, may you find them now. Half measures of AIL US nothing. There is no middle of the road solution. There is no middle of the road solution. You know that's the bottom line. And then the ABES and sees. You know that we can't. We can't manage all life. No human power can help us. Only God couldn't. Would if he was saw it and at the end of the chapter to the agnostics and says God either is or he isn't. What is your decision going to be? And you say I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, and the reason why you're thinking is the same reason Jack Benny is thinking. Because you don't want to give up the money, you don't want to give up the sex, you don't want to give up the romance, you don't want to give up the cars, you don't want to give up the life. You don't want to give up your independence and your ability to do whatever you want to do to whoever you want to do it too. You don't want to give up because you're an alcoholic and your defiance, because that's the chief achieve characterismic, an alcohol you are self centered in the Astrey and the extreme, although you don't realize yourself centered. You know, realize yourself you don't think yourself centered, you'll think yourselfish. Your delusion. You know that's what the book says. It says you can't recognize the true from the false. Your Alcoholic Life, your alcoholic life, which will demands a life of rigorous this honesty, your rationalizer, you tell youself rationalized, your alcoholic life seems the only normal one to you, to you to yell at people, to hate people, to get upset when you're not getting your own way back like a spoiled ten year old, to live life with a feeling that you're never you're never getting what you want, you're always being screwed, you're a victim. You can't believe this bullshit that they don't know, they don't know who they're dealing with. I'll show them. You know who tell you think you're talking to. Live a life your you live a life and conflict with the world and you're upset, because who wouldn't be upset with all the bullshit that's going on out there? And nobody listens to you. And if they, if they only did it your way, everything would be okay, but they're always pissing you off. You...

...know what I mean. And you know you're the smartest person in the world and you're the best person in the world, but every once in a while you hear you hear a voice and it says you're an Asshole, you want to kill yourself. So for some reason you need to run the entire universe. You think you have the power to do it yelled. Some of you you know, but you're just not happy, no matter what you do to get something up, you just not happy. And the problem is that is your life and it seems normal to you. You do not have to go to any meetings, you do not have to have a sponsor to be a total and complete asshole and think only of yourself, it seems it seems so natural to play with it. It seems so natural to feel sorry for yourself. It seems so natural to be pissed off at people all the time. Hell, I can murder fifty people before I got in the work in the morning just by driving along the express one. It seems so natural to say things like I'm having a bad day, I'm having a dad bad week, this has been a screwed up I hate I hate my life. There's a screwed up here, you know what I mean. And all you do is you wake up the morning say if I only had that Gal of I only had romance, if I only had money, if I only had a different job, my boss was only a jerk. You are a victim of circumstances and no matter how hard you try, the world doesn't seem to be changing. You're just surrounded by idiots, you know, and that's that's the life of an alcohol and and I you don't understand what's going on because you stopped drinking five years ago and you wake up at three o'clock in the morning and you're nervous and you're worried and you're anxious and you're going crazy and you know it can't be the drink. So you figure out what it is and all of a sudden you start learning something about alcoholism, that it had that the tricking is just a symptom, that the real disease centers in your mind, not your body. And even though the fellowship is great at times for certain things, it really is not exactly. Well, people's anonymous. You hear a lot of you hear some truth in the fellowship and you hear a lot of bullshit. But the bottom line is the big book. That's supposed to be the one thing that you can trust, and the big book says a lot of stuff and then the fellowship sort of tells you don't worry about that stuff, don't worry about that deal. But here's the but you're sitting, you're in the debating society. You know you. It says there is no middle of the road solution, but you sort of like the middle of the road. You know half measures of all is nothing, but you sort of figure out half measures give you fifty percent. You know you're just not ready. You're like Jack Benny. You're like Jack Benny, your money or your life. You just don't want you're thinking, you're thinking, you're trying to forget this out. And so what happens is is like it says, in the twelve and twelve, in steps six, it says, we start getting a new perspective, a new perspective, and the way we get this new perspective thus is you're going to like this. You know, like this. The way you get it is not because we're smart, because we're all brilliant. We all I know. The one thing I know is I this is I'm like looking at guys and mens, you guys are so brilliant it's unbelieve. I believe it. You're brilliant. I know you're breat I know you know you're brilliant. I know you know that. I don't understand. I know that you can't wait to say Russell. You don't understand. I'm different. I know you can't wait to tell me that. Okay, because I don't know. He doesn't know me, you don't know me. I understand that. I know I don't know you and you're different and you're brilliant. But what happens is when you continue to live your life the way you live it because, as they say in the big book, selfish, the selfs...

...centing this driven by a hundred forms of fear, you live the life of a dishonest alcohol because you can't help it, because you're powerless not to live a selfish life, because you're driven to do it, and you make decisions based upon self, which puts you in a position to be heard. And you do it over and over and over and over again, even do you stop drinking, even after you're going to meeting, even if they after you're trying to do this thing and you just don't get it and you don't so. So what do you call somebody who is constantly screwing up, constantly messing up. Five Years Ober, still not feeling good, ten years ober, still not feeling good, still screwing up, still trying to run around and play the game and pelf measures your money or your life. What do you come well, what I call them is I call him alcoholics. That's what I call him, alcoholics. Just be an alcoholics. You know, it's just about alcoholism. But here's the great thing. The great thing is if life is a humbling experience and you hang around life long enough, you will get what's called a new perspective on things. Your mind will change. Now I came to a when you're thirty one, when I was thirty one years old, when you live the life, when, for thirty one years, you try to avoid being hurt, you try to run the show, you try to anticipate everything, you try to you try to protect yourself, you try to control people. You, you, you, you try to do whatever you have to do to get control, to get everything. If only I had this, if only I had that, I'd be okay. And it's son another word. If anybody was never come up to me and say something like this, you know you ought not to do that, and you know what not, I'd say, well, yeah, yeah, no one what you know, but you see, you know something. If it happened to you the way it happened to me, you do the same thing, because you don't even see a different way of doing you don't even see a different way of living life. I tell my sponsor some guy just bounced the father of dollar checked on me, to bounce the Fother de dollar check on me. Bounced the five undre dollar check on me. So I'm thinking about this guy for two days. I'm going to kill him. I can't believe that he did it. I can't get it off my mind. He's not being hurt. I'm killing myself. My sponsor comes up to me after I'm wanting about this thing for two days. I'm three years sober and he says this to me. Russ he says. He says rust how would you feel if it didn't bother you? And I said I'll understand the question. He says, how would you feel if it didn't bother you? I said I don't understand. I didn't understand the question. He says the question symbol Russell. How would you feel but didn't bother you? I mean what you mean. How would I feel if it didn't bother me that he bounced the father of dollar check on me? Yeah, how would you feel up it didn't bother you that he bounce a farther the dollar check on you. How would I feel if it didn't bother me that a bounce the boboms dollar check and he says, yeah, that's the question. How would I feel that didn't bother me that he bounced the bother to dollar check on me? He said, yeah, that's the question. Says well, well, but didn't bother me. I feel fine. He says, there you go, when he walks away. He says there you go and he walks away. How do you how do you deal with somebody who is so stupid that he doesn't understand that everybody would be upset if somebody bounced the father of dollar check. But here's the problem. I would run into guys at Aa that had cancer, termine the cancer, and they were upset. What do you do when you're running to somebody who has terminal cancer and then not upset? What do you runther do when you run the people that are that just lost their job in there not upset? What are you doing? You running the people that have real problems and they're not upset. You look at them and sometimes some people...

...say something like this man, I wish I could be like that guy. I wish I could be like that guy. What do you do when you're sitting in a room when you hear somebody give a testimony? You Real lyad and he talks about some of the things that happened in his life and how he overcame them in the victory, and he's got twenty years or thirty years, whatever heck it is, and you're listening to this crap that this person went through and you say, Holy Crap, I wish I could be like him. I wish I could be like him. You know, the big book says. Says if you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you're ready. You're ready if you want what we have. And you know, it's really, really important not to drink. Not Drinking is like real important. It's like essential. I don't want anybody to think, well, he's putting down the not drinking thing. And A is a great not drinking club. Great Not Drinking Club, I mean they give you a medallions, they say don't drink anything, ass falls off and all this this stuff. You know, great, Great Club, but let me say this to you. There's much, much more if you want it. There's much, much more if you want it. But if you don't want it, you're going to be a member just of the not drinking club and one day you're going to drink again because your life is going to be horrible and, like it says in the book, when they when you say I'm not even thinking about drinking, they're going to laugh at your sally. You're going to try the old game again because you're not be happy with your surbriet. You could be ten years sober and lonely. You can be fifty soberly, Lorenzo, you do some you can be fifteen years sober and you can be lonely. You're going to be lonely, you're going to be separated and you're going to be really sort of discouraged because you'll have been doing everything they say to doing Aa and you'll be sober for ten or fifteen years and you'll be miserable and then one day you'll maybe you won't drink, or maybe it will drink. Maybe you'll be one of these guys that come in and talk about how you were sober for fifteen years and now you got nine months. Maybe you'll have that deal going on. Or maybe be one of these guys that say why. I've been around a a for thirty five years and I'm coming up on my ninetyf day, or you know, something like that. Maybe you'll do it that. There's more, if you want it now. An alcoholics anonymous. Number three. It says the following, and this is Claren, this is Bill Dotson, the man on the bed. If you see the man on the bed, which is the title of that that paintings came to believe, and I'm going to read this from page one hundred and ninety one, it would be hard to estimate how much Aa has done for me. I really wanted the program and I wanted to others to go along. I wanted to go along with it. I noticed that others seem to have such a release, a happiness, something that I thought a person ought to have. I was trying to find the answer. I knew there was even more, something I hadn't got, and I remember one day, a week or two after I had come out of the hospital, Bill Wilson was at my house talking to my wife and me. You ever go to a meeting and hear somebody or running to somebody in the meeting and you just say to yourself, you know you're sober. You know you're...

...sober and you know they're sober, but you somehow sense that they have something that you haven't like graph yet you haven't. You ever get that feeling that there are people in a that have gone into a point where not only they're sober, but they're they're unafraid? Not only are they sober, but they actually don't care what other people think about them, because their self esteem, the air feelings about themselves have really little to do with what you think about them, but other people think about them. I mean, you ever run in the people in the A that they're sort of seemed like they're wearing life like loose Garman? They're not upsetable, they don't seem to get upset a lot about things. They're not complaining a lot. That's a matter of fact. The kind of people you run into that whenever you leave their presence you always feel better. Somehow they always have the right thing to say. They always you know, that kind of deal. You say, man, I don't know what's going on. I'm sober and he's sober. Where you it's like I talked about Tiger Woods. Hey, we both play golf, but he's playing a different game than I'm playing. I know that. You know and you say you wish you had what he had, but you don't even you don't even know what he had. You don't even know what he has. You don't even know how to get it. And so you keep on going through these repeated humiliations, series repeated humiliations, these repeated humiliations. You got a new perspective, a new perspective, you learned the value of suffering, and all of a sudden you start, you start maybe looking at this whole deal a little bit different, and then you realize that somewhere in the big book, and then, and then this is what this is what he says in here. He says bill was at my house often to my wife and me. We were eating lunch and I was listening and trying to find out why they had this release that they seem to have. You know, the release, the new freedom, the new happiness. You know, we get to the point where we get relieved of worrying about money, worrying about one of the people, fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave you. Isn't that what it's? I mean, let me ask them. Is the big book. Is it a pack of lies? Is it all about? We foolish, we're just following a book, that it's all bullshit. Is that? Is that? You think there's a new freedom. I mean I'm not talking about just freedom from drinking. That's that's the smallest part of this deal. You think there's a new freedom, really, you think there's a new happiness, and happiness you've never known. You think there's something called the joy of living, where, even if you have a terminal can Sir your you've just somehow got joy in your heart. You think it's possible not to think about yourself all the time or tell yourself what a loser you are. You think it's possible to lose fear people and a judgment. You think it's possible lose fear of economic insecurity. I mean you think. Is it really possible, then? How come you got ten years to Briting to wake up at three o'clock in the morning worried about money? And how come, whenever you're worried about something, mind you got all these people living rent free in your brain. What does he think about? What's the what am I going to do? How come you doing that? You got five years, you got ten years, you got fifteen years. Why you still doing that Shit? I mean, do you think it really exists? I don't know. Maybe it's a bunch of bullshit. I don't know. What says and talks about in the book it says, well, this is what this guy was looking for. We're eating lunch and I was listening and trying out why they had this release that they seem to have. Bill looked across at my wife and said to her, Henrietta, the Lord has been so wonderful to me curing me of this term. You know, Lord is spelled with the Cabal Hell, you know, and we had the Lord has been so wonderful to me, curing me of this terrible disease that I just want to keep talking about it and telling other people. He couldn't stop talking about it.

He was so excited. Hey, listen, you know some I identify, I identify. I thought, I think I have the answer. Bill was very, very grateful that he had been released from this terrible thing, not only the booze, the terrible thing of the fear, of all the other bondage to things in this world. Grateful that he've been released from this terrible thing and that he had given God the credit for having done it and he's so grateful that he wants to tell other people about it. That sentence. The Lord has been so wonderful to me, clearing me of this terrible disease that I just want to keep telling other people about it has been a sort of golden text for the a program and for me. So I guess what happened with Bill Wilson is he made the decision. He made the decision. Your money or your life, your money or God. The woman are God, the sex are God, the Prestige or God, God or Mammon? I guess he stopped thinking. I guess he stopped saying I'm thinking about it. He said I'm choosing God. I choose God. I'm going to make God the centerpiece of my life. And then all of a sudden what happens is, when that happens, you having to read this thing in the big book where it says we will be rocketed into the fourth the men a said they ever seen this part. It's in the big book you have. It is we will be rocketed into the fourth dimension of existence. We will experience heaven, will experience heaven and be rocking in the fourth dimension. Insistance. And then right after that it says the great and they capitalize. Great fact is this and nothing less, which I think means, correct me if I'm wrong, that it's this and nothing less than this. You got it, know, isn't? This is complex stuff and I know you guys are smart and I'm taking a slow I know you guys get it. You know, but there may be somebody who snuck in here that didn't pass the IQ test. You know what I'm talking about, so I want to make sure they understand it. It says the great fact, and it must be a very important fact, because it's a great fact, is this and nothing less than this, that God has become the central fact of our life, our creator has become the central fact of our life, and that we are convinced that he lives in our heart and mind in a way which is indeed miraculous, doing for us what we can't do for ourselves. Now, I know about you. I took that third step, I got down on my knees, I did the Stop by follow directions. You know, when I was about five or six months sober, I did that third step, or three or four months, I can remember. It's been a while, but I got to be honest with you, I don't think I was convinced. I think I was still doing the middle of the roads. Well, I know I wasn't convinced. You know why? Because I spent a whole crap. I spent a lot of time trying to do the AA deal and a lot of time worrying about money, property and prestige. I spent a lot of time doing the a deal, a lot of time in anxiety. Now I can tell by you guys, I'm like preaching the fire, because none of you guys have ever worried about that stuff. None of you guys have ever worried about money, property of prestige. None of you guys have ever said, why aren't I married? Why don't I have a boyfriend? Why don't I have a girlfriend? What am I going to be better? When is this thing going to work for me? I know I can not tell. I'm dealing with people that have already been rocketed to blue dog. I mean, you're like in but just in case you should run into somebody who's a a a WHO's got like some difficulties. You understand, you know. I'm just...

...sort of telling you. Got To watch out for those people because they may think that it will never happen. From that's why they say in the book. Do not be discouraged. No one among us they's able to find. Do not be discouraged. So what happens? So we finally get to the point where we stopped saying I'm thinking see to the extent you see. The problem is, you know, as they've ever heard them say anything in as ever and they heard this half measures availing us nothing. You ever hear that? Now listen, let me explain to you what that means. That means. Now, listen, this is deep shit. Half measures get you nowhere. Half men measures get you know where. You know where it gets you. It gets you dry. It gets you dry, it gets you dry, it never gets you sober. Now we're delusional. We say you're so good because we need encouragement, because we're sensitive, and I understand that there are new people. You know, we clap for a march. So isn't it great? But when people would thirty forty years who are sober, say that guy is sober, trust me, they don't mean he's just not drinking. I mean it's like a little secret when you hear somebody with about thirty, forty years saying that guy sober. They don't mean he's just not drinking, because there's a lot of people not drinking and alcoholics anonymous. They're talking about a man who has decided to live his life, his entire life is lived in such a way that he wants to grow in the image and likeness of his creator. They're talking about a man's who was totally embraced God before everything else in the world. It's the most important thing in his life. You know how I know that? Because the sixth step, which is, by the way, one of the twelve steps, says we came to the pool we want God to remove everything that separates us from him, and a wellknown clergyman says that is a man or a woman who has reached the point where they want to grow in the image and likeness of their creator. The whole focus on life is about God. They don't like up focused on the money. They won't wake up. They don't. They don't do the turned over thing. You know you ever did the turned over? I did that. I practice that. You got to practice that for ten to twenty years. Turn it over, turn it over, turn it over. You know, before you turn it over, I feel lousy. Before you turn it over, you feel lousy. You're know, you feel lousy before you turn over money. Feel Lousy. Once you turn it over to God, you don't feel so bad. Right. Actually give you the firsthand. You know. I mean that this thy worth. So what happens? You turn over and turn it over and turn it over, and then one day you get so crazy you start doing, you're ready for this, the extra credit shit, you know, the stuff that you don't have to do. You know, you know, in the big book. Here's what happens in the big book. And says we encourage church membership. Did you know? They say that twice. You know, they not only say we encourage church membership, they say it twice. They not only say that, they say most of us belong to such organizations. You know why? You know why, because they wanted to get even closer to God. So they wanted to hang around with people in their lives that were believers. Maybe they would catch something. And said about people in their lives. Are we talking about money? Probably, and sex. So they said that and then they say this great line. Here's the line. They say, of course this is not over religatory, and that's a line for younger alcoholics that are still thinking about making a...

...decision. You understand what I'm saying. They it's not out obligatory. So you've got the founders of a a WHO said rarely haven't seen a person failed what's thoroughly followed our bath, thoroughly followed our path and given giving themselves utterly abandoned themselves to God and staying that. We all belong to churches and to Syno goods and we highly recommend it and we suggested and we encourage it. And then we got you sitting there in the middle of saying I'm thinking it's not obligatory and that's like extra credit stuff. But somewhere along the line there are some people that decide that they don't want to just blot to the not drinking club because the only requirement membership is desired. They drink, does they have to be anonymous desire? They took that out, it says, but there's another fellowship in the air. It's called the fellowship of the spirit, and that's a whole different membership requirements. Okay, and apparently there's some people that actually get the point of time, like buill Docs and said says I knew there was something more, something they hadn't got, something a person ought to have, and they make a decision for God. And so the people that have not got into that point with they're ready to make a decision for God. They read the Big Book One way. They read it one way. They see certain things, but there's a lot of things they don't see. There's a lot of things they read, but they say that's not for me. They do everything they're supposed to do an a. They do all the busy work, they do all the sponsorship, they run around, they do everything except for the stuff they don't want to do, except for the stuff they don't want to do. They don't know, they don't realize that the stuff that they don't want to do, that they're saying or as optional, is the stuff that Bill Wilson and Dr Bob did. Now ask yourself this question. If we if we don't have to do that stuff, if we don't have to do any of that stuff, think about this for a second, because you're very bright. I know this. Why would they put it in the big book. If they know God pisses off people and they're saying it's not obligatory that you go to church, we encourage it, why would they put it in the big but now I'm going to give you the answer. They put it in the big book because you're read this, because that's what they did, because that's what they did. Rarely have we seen person failed who is thoroughly followed our path. So you can even do what they did or not do what they did. You understand I mean this. I'm trying to simplify this thing. I'm trying to bring it down. So if you do what they did and you want to get closer to God and you want to get rid of all your defensive character, somewhere along the line, as you're doing everything you can to do that and focus it on God, it's a humbling experience. You're going to get to the point where you're going to be find yourself talking to God alone. You're going to find yourself humbly asking him to remove all this other stuff from your life. It's not even going to be about the drinking anymore, although it's always about the drinking, because if you don't do it, the drinking there, but it's really not about the drinking. You're going to be asking God to help you grow up, help you get closer to him, because the big book says he'll give you everything you need if you stay close to him and perform his works well. And it's going to be clear to you what his work is. His work is going to be to be able a servant and to help other people. And you're going to find yourself all of a sudden going to meetings, not because you quote need a meeting, because it ain't going to get...

...that bad for you, because you're not turn you're not turning things, things over to your living what's called the turned over a life. You see always things, always is work when you turn them over to God, when you turn it over. You may have to go through a lot of Shit with's fun to finally turn it over. But I'll tell you what, you never have to turn your life over to God if you never turn away from God. Now this is advanced, I understand phe you never have to turn your life over to God or turn anything over to God if you've never turned away from God. So if God is the most important thing your life, it won't really hurt you that much when the girlfriend of the boyfriend. Ladies, if God is the most important thing in your life, it may hurt a little, you may have a little bit of problem, it won't hurt you that much. It will never rob you of your happiness if you lose the job, because you'll think that he's going to give you who you'll believe that he's going to give you everything you need. If you stay close from performance Bob and you're going to know that the reason you lost that job is because there's a better job down the road or God wants to give you something better, you're going to believe that shit. Now the other people in they are going to think you're fucking nuts. No, I want to I want to tell you if you're going to fall, if you're going to do what I'm doing, what I'm suggesting, people are going to laugh at you. They're going to laugh at you, you're going to talk, they're going to criticize you, but you're not going to worry about them, because this is the good news. You're not going to care what they think. It's going to be an amazing freedom from that bondage when you don't care what they think. You understand as a map, you might actually have a little fun sort of driving crazy. You know, you know what I mean. You might you might feel like if I'm not pissing off or getting people create twenty five percent of people crazy and a meeting, maybe I'm not saying anything worthwhile. You know that's possible to I don't know. And then one day you'll wake up and you won't be experienced the promises here in the air once in a while, you'll be experiencing them all the time. You won't have to worry about praying and meditating, because your life will become a prayer. You'll wake up thinking about God, you'll go to sleep thinking about God, you'll go to work thinking about God, you'll be on the toilet thinking about God. It will become absolutely obsessive to you thinking about God and want to be close to God. But the problem is that will be an obsession, it will be an addiction, but there's no dilatorious consequences, because what will happen is you will feel gritty, drinking will be less and you're worried about you'll be feeling good with me. You got it. So what happened is you your life will consist of humbling wanting him to remove all these deep and asking them to remove and praying to him. You know, and listen, Hey, if this sounds weird to you and strange and crazy, what you probably does, because it's nothing like the old life. You know, what they say about the old life. Is what they say about the old life. They say the people that do not make it are people who cannot or will not involved themselves and living a life which the man's trigger is honesty. They can't honestly see what this book really means or what it says. They think that this big book, you say, you know they think. They think this book is Big Book, this big book. They think it's about not drinking. When they read it, all they read about is not drinking. They think as map. They get pissed off and people like maybe they talk about, you know, emotional sobriety. You know, if Bill Wilson said the problem with alcoholics are, it says, unhealthy dependencies, bondaged other things. When you get all upset, you're not upset about the booze. You're upset about the girlfriend of the boyfriend of the wife or a husband or the job or...

...the money or all the other things in this world that you have no control over that you think you need for your happiness or to be okay or to show off or to pump up your ego or to make you feel like you're a big shot or something like that. That's why you're upset. That's where the alcoholism hits you. It hits you at that place and your bondage, all the other things which you've always had, which you've always had. You just didn't notice it because you would too busy drinking, drinking. You're drinking the feelings away. But now that you're not drinking, now you get that. Now you get to feel all the other addictions, all the other sessions, and now you're figuring yourself. How do I stop thinking about this? How do I stop doing this? How do I stop that? And you know what the deal is? God's The answer they talk about in the seventh step of the sixth step. It says we don't want to deprecate material achievement, but nobody's made a worse job of doing this thing. It says you can say you believe in God, it ain't going to help, because your whole life isn't based upon him. You're not letting them run your life. You're right. When your life he's not the centerpiece. You men. It's not enough the whold hands everyone's wall and say the words pair or say, Oh yeah, I believe in God. It has to do with how much you think about him in your life. You see the centerpiece of your life. Hey, listen, you know some you this is my m this is all these quotes are right out of the big book. Believe it or not, these quotes I'm saying, nine percent of stuff I'm saying to you, even though it's part of my experience, is right out of the big book of alcoholics anonymous, are basic text. It's our basic text. Now you may have read the Bit Good About Twenty thirty times and never seen this stuff, but trust me, it's all. They're making God the central factor your life. You know, and you're gonna have people that say you talk too much about God and everything, but that's a whole deal. That's the whole deal in this thing. That's what six and six and seven, they call him, old timers steps. You know why? Because no matter how many times you do the steps, that's the engine. You'll all six and seven giving up this world, giving up the things of this world, focusing on God. You know, I'm I'm going to end this by saying, you know, I'm seventy one years old, and I got to be honest with you. I'm not the healthy. I'm not complaining, I'm not the healthiest guy in the world. You know what I mean. I mean I got every day I wake up with another pain. Now my teeth are going. I've got my teeth are going. And but, but, although my body is being weakened, although my body is being weak and I got to tell you something, my spirit, I have never felt happier in my life. You know, for some strange reason when your body starts to I remember a time when I was eighteen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty five years old. That's what I've never died my thirty years old. I thought I had the world by the Loos. It's I was going to be a stupid shot, super shot star. I was going to run the world. I was got the master of my face. I'm the captain of my soul, you know I mean. And now I can't even get out of bed. You know I mean, I gotta roll out of bed, barely make it to the bathroom, and you know, I have a cane I use sometimes, and I I've never been more excited and happy about my life, because the great thing is is then, and they say it in the Bible, when I'm weak, he's strong in me, when I'm no longer thinking that I'm conquering the world and all this sort of crap that we think about. You know what I mean. I can focus more on him, focus more on him. That's the whole deal. So that's all I have to say.

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