AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode · 7 months ago

Russell S. Step 6-7 Part 2 at the 12 Step House 6/24/2021

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Russell S. Step 6-7 Part 2 at the 12 Step House, Ft. Lauderdale , FL 6/24/2021  

My Name's Russell spats. I'm analcoholic and it's a pleasure to be and I'm so I'm so happy that.I grateful that I got to watch Zenobia. Is that your name? Zenobia?And P pick up the Madayans. I want to. I'm going totalk a little bit. I talked a lot about something last week. Ican go step six, I think, sex, sex, seven, whateverit is, and tonight we're supposedly on step seven. So I'm going totalk about step seven and whatever. You'll figure it out. So and so, if I'm going to talk about six and seven, I want to talkabout Zenobian Pete. This isn't I don't think this is considered cross talk,and if it is what they had I'm going to go out and talk aboutit anyway. You know, a's like a giant tolbox. As a rentfor it, every nut that walks through the door. I haven't found us. I haven't drinking a little forty years and I've been working this thing andthis is just my opinion and experience. Okay, and somebody asked me whetherI ever get nervous when I get up to talk these days. I've beendoing this thing for forty years and and I don't, I really don't.Now you know, I should never, you should never say I really don't. Then next week I'll be a Basqui case. But, but, but, I remember my sponsor, Joe Snyder. I've said quite a few spawn sersand mentors because they grow old and they die. And I asked mysponsor once, and I know a lot of these things I've shared with groupalready, so I may repeat myself, but repeating yourself in a is nota bad thing. Sometimes the Lord, through your life, experiences, repeats, have has you repeat situations maybe tenzero times before you say I really dohave to stop tracking. You know, you'd be surprised how many times youdo the same thing over and over again for over ten and twenty years andthen all of a sudden, G I cant out of be a. Youknow, you. So I asked my sponsor. I said you ever getresentments? He said get them, I give them and I you know.And there was a partner said Manna, I wish, I wish I couldhave that, because I was always worried about what other people think about meand and and what I want to do is I want to keep. Iwant to make the message real simple, real simple. That doesn't necessarily meanyou're going to understand the message. You're going to get what I'm trying tosay, but I'm trying to make it real crisp and real simple and yeah, you can under I'll put it to you this way. This is mysincere understanding of what it's meant in my life. I can't do any betterthan that. I can't carry the message to you, I really can't.All I could do is try to carry the message and that means I'm goingto do the best job I can explain to you about separating the men fromthe boys, what that means and what humbling means and the attitude, becausethey're all about attitudes that want it has to have in order to get tothat place. Because, you see, here's the here's what I think youknow. When I'm asked to do the steps, I'm going to. I'mgoing to carry. I'm not going to try to Pan, I'm not goingto I'm not going to try to say things that will make you like me. I might actually say some things, if I'm telling truth, that makeyou hate me, but that's okay. Just happen. If you hate me, that means you're listening to me, you know, and it's him,and that's how you got a message across. People hate you, they resent you, they think about me the entire week. I'll forget about all youguys want to walk out the door. But I mean, the only thinggot me for the WHO is that guy? I gotta believe this, and thensomehow it'll sink in. You know, it'll sink in or not sinking.So that's the deal. So I'm just going to tell you the truthabout my experience and what I've read in the book. And now I maybe wrong. That's okay. This is like there's a pretty country. Buthere's the deal. When you know, it's one thing when you're on thefirst step, in the second, seventh, third step and all stuff. AndI and I know little confrontational.

Okay, I'm here to confer,to disturb the disturb the comfortable. I but but when I get around sixand seven, I the adult steps, the ones that separate the members ofthe grown up steps, where in said, they're actually people here listening. Thereare people who are thirty years that they've been so jaded and they're solonely and they're and that so and they're unhappy with their sobriety and every ameeting, they go to a meetings to stop drinking. They know they haveto go, but they don't feel like they're getting any more to wear.But you're never going to know who those people are because they know how totalk to a meets young someone. I'm saying, they know how to talkto a meets and and you know that's just the way it's going to be. And there are and there are people here with with with time, whowant to hear a message of depth and way. They don't want to hearthey don't want to be fed milk. They want they want a sirloin stick. And there are, believe it, are not, even though you've beentold this story that there are people here that a knew, that will bescared out the door and run away because I said God or Jesus or somethinglike that. The truth is that the people are going to get this thingwon't be running out of any doors, won't be going anywhere. That's fiction. If they run out the door, they will be running right back into hear the message, because outside those doors is alcohol our best friend andalcoholics anonymous because, I said before, sort of force fleet and I'll sayit mild and hill. So it's not too scare anybody. The great thingabout a is where a giant self cleaning it up. You're not have tobelieve me. It doesn't matter. You believe you, whether you come aroundwith you don't come around. Truth is every year, every two years,alcohol comes through. A wipes out all the bullshit and all the guys thatsay I ain't going to do that, or all the guys that are balkingor they half measure guys, or you know, all that stuff. Itjust got to be wiped the hell out. They're going to go to jail,they're going to die on the street, they're going to know they're going tocome back in for the fifteen thousand time and pick up a chip orsomething like that, because they because they have an inability to shut the hellup and follow directions and do what the big book tells them to do.And the big book is so abundantly clear. But if you're in alcohol key,one of the one of the consequences of alcohol. The drinking is nota consequence of alcoholism. I mean that's a symptom. The content. Oneof the consequence of alcoholism that centers in your mind, on your body isthe ability to hear a clear cut message and water it down. The abilityis that here a message was says, of a mere code of morals anda better philosophy of life would help us. We've been so over long time ago. Mire codes and morals, you know, don't help us. Wehad to have God's help, and that's where alcoholics get pissed off. Itsays. The apples on our neck means we get pissed off and said whatit says says this sort of thinking, the thinking of the agnostic and thein the atheist, the sort of think that you could do this about Godjust based on Good Orly direction or group of drunks or all that sort ofstuff, has to be abandoned. We had to have God's health. Godis either everything or it's nothing. What is your decision to be? Andand unless your brain dead or your rationalize things you tell yourself rationalize, areyou just basically do this problem of the way you want to do the programand not the way it's actually spelled out, which is obvious in the big book. You know, unless you want to, unless you really want tojust make believe stuff, you know, you'll somehow figure out a way todo AA light and, quite frank as a lot of people that's they wereten, fifteen, twenty years and they do away light, but they neverget they never get the point with the rocket in the fourth dimension of existence. They never get some point where they're expensing much pen they never really getget the joy of living. They don't...

...get that stuff. They never reallylose fear of people in an economic in security and they wouldn't even know whatthat life is like. And there are other people, you know. I'llcall those the men of the women, who have gotten to the point wherethey finally surrendered, completely, completely surrender. God has become the central fact oftheir lives. They are convinced that he is living in their lot heart, which is deep miraculous, doing for them so they can't do for themselves. They understand they're on a new basis based of trust in and relying uponGod. Listen to me, they never apologize for God. They never thinkthat the thought of apologize, of the used the word God. are talkinglike got an a meeting. Would never even occur to them. And ifit did, they wouldn't, they wouldn't, they would still do it because theyare not scared of y'all. They're not scared of what you think aboutthem. You know what I mean? You know there they so the ideaof we never apologize for God. We never apologize for God. All menof faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. They let they let God demonstrates in their life what they can do.So when I get to six and seven, I take the gloves off. Itake the gloves off. You know, it's like, give you just aplain, concise, clear cut message and I'll tell you what. Youtake a yellow marker and you read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, youread the twelve and twelve, you thread Dr Bob, the good old timers. And if you think that I'm stride in right, press God too muchwith don you be surprised. I'm mild compared to what they say in thebig book of alcoholics anonymous. Do you know? In the big book ofalcoholics anonymous, you know what it says? It says we encourage church membership,church membership. You know why they said that? Well, they tellyou why they said that, because most of us do it. Most ofthe founders do it. You know, it says an alcoholics anonymous. Welose prejudice, lose resentments and prejudice against the organized religion. We begin tosee where religious people are writing and whether right. We followed them along.You know why they said that, because they did that. Not Everybody doesthat, because you lot it all. I got a lot of people thathave not gotten to the point where they've got passed out. But with they'reonly committed to God. And so what they do is they fight that andthey poisoned the the rooms and they make other people believe that they're doing somethingstupid. If they mentioned God, they criticize. They send in the back, in the back of the room, they criticize. That's what they do. How many people in alcoholics anonymous? Where the book says see the relationshipwith him is ranting great events from the best you and Coelos others? Whereit says we must get to this, what selfish as we must ever killsus. God makes that possible. where it says once you make that thatserious decision, for God also its remarkable things happen being of all powerful,give you everything we need. You need if you stay close to me,performance work right. He is the new employer. You know, you understandwhat I'm saying. Be Up maximum work for God and other people. Youknow, how many people have read all that stuff, seeing God on thewalls? Yeah, saying all that stuff. Everything I just said. That cameright out of the big books. Not My opinion. This is ourbasic text. This is the program of alcoholics. Thomas Appendix to us isnice, but it doesn't subsume and wipe out everything else. Okay. Howmany people have ever been to an a meeting and we're going to say somethingand you use you didn't say it. How many people wanted to say something, a mean but you didn't say it. How you wanted to ask a question, I mean, you didn't ask it. How many people wanted tosay something, even ask question about God, but you didn't do it. Howmany people said higher power instead of God because you felt that was moreacceptable and God was not accept the Bull Inn AA. How many people thinkthat it's okay in a to bash organized religion or cut it down? GoWilson Sponsors, basically with Sam Shoemaker of...

Calvary Church and at dowling. Eddowling was the one who came up. This is a man, that's thetest, who is trying to grow in the image and likeness of is createdwith the capital city. How many people you have to raise your hands eversat in the room or even apologize for God and would say someth about Godand said, list I'm apologize, I'm sorry if I'm offending somebody. Youever say I'm sorry if that offends people? Why do you know why you're apologizing? Do you know why you're apologizing? Would you like to know why you'reapologizing? Because you're scared of them? You and you know some. Youdon't catch that dis ease by coming the rooms of alcoholics. Anonymous.You've been scared of people your entire life. You know what you you know whatpeople come in here for, not only stop drinking, to get tothe point where they're not scared of what other people think about them. Oneof the promises are is you'll lose fear of economic in SCIRIT. Fear peoplein of economic in security. How would people, how would you, liketo live a fearless life and not be scared of what other people think aboutthem. Well, it ain't never going to happen. If you're scared totalk about God and a a room, for God's Sakes, you might bea little scared out there, but with this material we're reading, you know, with the material we're reading, where they say in the in the bookwhen they talk about the men and the boys and some stuff I'm going toI rember read about to be scared in Aa to talk about God with allthe material is about that. When in the when in the last page thebig book, it says we will not know you. We cannot be surebecause your real realize has to be on God. He will show you howto create the fellowship you pray. How can you read this material and havethis stuff, that being a room, and be scared? And you knowwhy you're scared? You're scared because somebody in Aa told you that you shouldn'tdo that stuff because you will hurt the newcomer. You will hurt the newcomer. W Wilson felt that way for a while and then dalk the bottom thegood old timers. You know, he addressed it with Henrietta cibling and shesaid, you know, Bill, you've been fasing alcoholics all your life.You don't talk about God, you're not talking about the program, about bobsanamous and he agreed. I was back in the good old days when theyhad to get down on your knees. You know what I'm talking about.So I want to be very clear about this stuff and clear about the bigbook. You can read the big but you could do it anyway you want. You know, you can fulll around this thing. I know guys,I know him and I love them, who have thirty years. At thirtyyears they finally figure it out this thing and they jump into the depends ofthe pool. They stopped falling around. You know, I was thinking aboutZenobia and Pete, but mostly Senobia was what happened with her. And Iwas thinking about a in the book of Luke, Chapter Seventeen, they talkedabout something called the the killing the ten lepers. Leprosy was a horrible disease. Thousands of years ago people died of it. They shunned them. Itwas embarrassing. You have to go to a leper colony and leprosy and thestory goes, the story goes and and I personally believe it's true. Butyou don't have to believe it, and it does. You don't have tobe a Christian, you don't have to leave in Jesu Rny, but thisis the story because it matches up with what I see. It matches upwith what I see in a this match is perfectly nothing has changed about thisdisease. Everything we have is common to man. As a matter of fact, a lot of you guys talk about Earth People like somehow they're better.There's not a problem, you have not a fear, you have not aloneliness. You have that Earth people who are not alcoholic don't have. Theyjust don't drink. There are plenty of earth people three clocks in the morningthat are scared shitless. There are plenty of earth people three clouds that arelonely. They just don't wake up and go to meetings. You don't knowhow lucky you have it to be able to go to a meeting where theytalk about this stuff, wakeome the morning, go to meet and talk to peoplethat love you and care about you and everything. Nobody out there hasthat. They just live home to work,...

...home to work, lives the livesof quive tespiration. So in the story of the ten lepers. Therewere these ten lepers and supposedly, as the carpenters going through, you knowwhat the carpenter is, as the carpenters gone through the town, Carpenter,master, counselor he's going to do down, they lead with him and say pleasehelp us, because he was healing people and he looked at me,had pity on them and he said go show yourself to the priest, becausein order to be certified that you didn't have leprosy, how to show yourselfto the priest. And what happened was, and this actually, you may findthis hard to leave, this actually has something to do with step sixand seven and it has something to do with Zenobia. So it's lucky,isn't that? It isn't see how great God is. You know, we'reon six and seven and seven, and he gets an Obian here so Ican talk about something to do with step seven. So he heals the theten lovers are healed. And here's how the story goes. You are lookingup boop seventeen. It's okay, you're allowed, because you know what yourno, no, listen, you're an AA and you're free to read whateveryou want to read and you don't have to be in the AA coffin.You understand what I'm saying. You're free to grow. This is a launchingpad. You understand what I'm saying. And, just in case you don'tknow, and Dr Bottom, the good old timers, the old the guy, the the man in that book said the books we found absolutely essential,which is what would that mean? What it's essential mean? What would absolutelyessential means in order for long terms of bride for any sobriety? The bookswe are we read are first with the and thirteen sermon on the Mount ofthe book of James. So apparently they felt it was okay back then.You know. You know one of the things that alcoholics happens these motive things. He's motive things going on. They like the pet, they like thethey like the massage. A bad motive over good vote. They say wedon't want to scare away the newcomer, when what they really saying is wedon't want people not to like us. We don't people walking out door andsaying bad things about us, you know. So they're scared to really give themthe real message. You know what I mean? You know, theywe sort of beg them to do this stuff and everything like that. There'sa lot of that stuff going around here. So so the ten leppers are arehealed and one of the way the story goes, is one of thelepers, one of the leps. They all go will going over the priestsso they can be certified and go to the baseball game and go back totheir lives, you know, and see their girlfriends and stuff like. Andone of the lepers goes back to where the carpet was, gets down onhis knees and keeps on saying thank you Lord, thank you Lord, thankyou Lord. And so this is the this is the conversation that happens afterthat. The carpet that looks at the Leper and he says, as he'sas he's thanking them on his knees and he says, but we're not tenhealed yet only one returns to give glory to God. He says you maygo, my friend. He says your faith has made you whole. Hedoes say healed. That says whole. And there is a lot of peopleto come to a a and they come to the doors and do a fewthings. They get healed, but only the ten leper gets whole because ofhis faith, because he returned. Now I don't know whether the the dealis one out of ten. As a matter of fact, my if yougo by my cap, it's probably one out of a thousand. It wasa statistic float around about only one half of one percent of people to comein here stay sober from twenty years and other people with the twenty years thataren't happy with this sobriety. But you know, when I hear some likeSonabria, I say, well, you see, that's a guy with theheart of the tenth lever. I hear PS is that's got with the heartof the tenth lever. That's what I...

...look for and I can't give somebodythe heart of the tenth lever. I can't give you know, as Maverick, I run into ten people that are running out the door to show themselvesto the priests. So then go back to their girlfriend and they last forfive years or ten years or three months, whatever it is that I have.Others at a heart of ten leper and they will stick around and stickaround and they hear God. They ain't running anywhere as mattering. They're eatingit up. You know, because you want to why they're eating up,because they are into this program which is all about that stuff. And don'tlet people lie to a kid you. That's what it's about. It's aboutGod. It's about an abiding faith in God. That's what the steps areall about, abiding faith in God, a commitment to God. Now letme read you a little life, a little education here. You know,I mean, I know you guys are brighten everything, but I want toread you a little something. I want to read you. I want togive you a a definition of a word. Has Anybody ever heard the word dilettant, dilantant? Do you know? The word dilettant means? I'm goingto table. The word dilatop means so you can go back to your meetingsand use the word. Don't think that's really cool. You know. Well, you're supposed to give me credit one time. Yeah, the first timeyou say, well, as I heard Russell say, the second time,as you say, was I heard said, as I've heard said, and thethird time you say, as I always say. You know, that'sthat's like an AA policy. Understand I'm saying, Sheldon. So let melet me read you the word Dilaton. See, I give you shit youcan use. You know what I mean. I'm yeah, it says dilaton.It says a person who cultivate. Listen to this because it's going tocome up later on. Or we deal with step seven, a person whocultivates an area of interest without real commitment or knowledge. A person who cultivatesan area of interest such a without without real commitment or knowledge. We havepeople coming here and they have an area of interest, in a a,an area of interest abstaining sober. But you want to know something, theyhave no commitment to it. They have that. They called them. Theyhaven't. There's some of them even have an interest in God and even abelief in God, but no commitment to God. He's not the focus theirlives. This is not a program that can help those people. I shouldn'tsay it's not from me. You got to help them stay sober for awhile. It's not a program with these people are going to be rocking inthe fourth dimension of distance, as it's the fined in the program. It'sjust not going to happen that way, unfortunately. In this program, Godis everything or he's nothing, and I can tell you right now. Acomes down on the everything side. If you haven't bring that out, itcomes down the everything side. Okay, guess what? Hath measures value?Nothing, nothing, just mere physical sobriety. Yes, what? There's actually nomiddle of the road solution. What do you think of that? Nomiddle of the road solution. It's either all or nothing. Now you havetime, as I've had time. I'm not saying you come in here andyou immediately. Some people do it faster and it you have time to sortof have a grow on y. You know what I mean? And I'mnot saying that you're coming here and you got three hours and you got totalk like I talk or believe what I believe in. But if you areadopting a program which has to do with God being the centerpiece of your life, where you're praying to God with your folks in a God about God,you're you're developing a relationship with God and, by the way, and this isactually part of the twelve steps, the eleven stuff, where you areconstantly improving your relationship with God, that...

...means if you got one year,you know you're doing your reproving your relationship with God. That means if you'vegot five years. You know you're doing your improving your relationship with God.That means if you got twenty years and you believe in God, you're goingto church, you got to still be improving your relationship with God. It'slike you never get to a point where you're not reproving your relationship with God. You know what happens when you try to improve your relationship with God andmake him the number one thing in your life for forty years? You getlike real committed. Some people to might not even like you, but bythat time you really don't care whether they like you or not. You know, I because you've lost fear of people and fear of economic insecurity. Sosure, but committed to God because that's the most important thing your life.This is the twelve and twelve. Nothing up my sleeve. This is conferenceapproved material. Now, according to a and now I know we're all tolerantand certainly we all want people to like us, you know, and that'skind of stuff. And you would like my sponsor. What did you sayagain? He said, do you give reason? You get resentments. Getthem, I give them. You know what I mean. We don't wantanybody, God for did, we should go to sleep. God for didsomebody. We should learn that somebody the same dead things about us. Itdoesn't like us. Man, I'll tell you, go crazy. You'd becalling up. Did I see something about you? I even apologize in andworrying about that Shit. You know, you know. I hear somebody doesn'tlike me, I say, God damn good, it worked. It works, okay. I mean some people will sacrifice everything in this program, everythingin this program will will prostitute this program and everything in to do anything becausethey think drinking is the worst thing that can happen to somebody. I'll tellyou, the worst thing that happens to somebody is not yet is stay soberand never get this program, go to the banquet and walk away with aham sandwich. You know, sometimes drinking is necessary. I'll tell you how. I know it's necessary because in the big book about Bobsonbmous, in thetwelve and twelve, it says the way we got a new perspective is byrepeat humiliations. And the final question of our selfsufficiency. It says repeated humiliationsin the file question of our self sufficiency. It says repeated humiliations in the finalquestion of our self sufficiency, it says repeated humility. It doesn't saywe get smarter, it doesn't say that we fix ourselves, it says repeatedhumiliations. The file question for our self sufficiency, which is how you gothere in the first place, it means total, total, complete, consistentsurrender. The means surrender worse. And sometimes that surrender happens because you loseyour job. Sometimes it happens because you lose your wife or husband. Sometimesit happens because you'll lose a leg or an arm or you've got in acar fish. And sometimes it happens we goes your drink after five years andyou got to couple like you. To happen is at also having guys.There's all sorts of ways that happens to alcoholics, you know, but I'lltell you if you're not on the right path, you know it happens.God has a very interesting way of dealing with recalcitrending alcoholics that Balk. That'ssometimes balk at these things. I think we all do. So let meread this. On set, I made a statement last week probably bothered afew people. I said the three kind of atheists you remember what the sixstep is. One of the separates me from the boys, separates the that. Here's the definition. The men or the women are those who are repeatedlytrying to grow in the image and like this of their creator. The ideaof the attitude we have towards God, the attitude we have towards God.It's not a lukewarm attitude. It's not like well, I held hands atthe at the meeting, I said the...

Lord's prayer. It's not like willI believe in God or the great fairy of the great gipsy or something likethat. It's not, it's not. It's more than it's more than that. It's more than that, and let me tell you how it's more thanthat. Okay, let me read you something from our material. Okay,it's very simple. It says this is on step seven. Seldom it's andit talks about in step seven the problem. You See, there are atheists thatdon't believe in God. How many people understand that AA takes a standon atheism. Do you understand that? There's a chapter called chapter to theagnostic? Now, I understand atheis are allowed in anybody's lawed in. Younot believe in anything. In order to be a member. On order tobe a member, all you need is a desire to stop drinking. Youunderstand what I'm saying. Now, look, let me, let me say thisto you. When I was young, growing up in a a, mysponsor used to tell a story. It was a big, cool aa story, but it's sort of got the point across. So you've probablyheard it, but I'm going to say it again. And the story wentlike this. There was a there was this village up in the mountains.I don't know what I said this last week. If I didn't, I'mgoing to say this village up in the mountains and there was this giant gorgethat zero foot drop and once a you're a guy, would come up thereand he would string a tight rope across the gorge, no neck, andhe would walk back and forth on the tight rope. But all the men, William, women, kids would watch him do it and he would goback and forth across the tight rope and there was a little boy, alittle ten year old boy. The way the story goes is just why shouldthe sky go back and forth on the tide rope? And he says tome. Says you are the greatest, you were unbelievable, you can doanything. He says. You really think? He says yeah, he says watchthis and he takes a wheelbarrow and he takes the will barrow up anddown and back and forth across the tight rope and the kid says you arethe greatest. Your album, you could do anything. Says, you reallybelieve that? Says Yeah, he says jump at the wheelbarrow. Said jumpat the wheelbarrow. Yeah. You know, there there are two people at athere are two people at a football game. There are two people.Have two types of people in football game. There are spectators and there are players. There are people in the stands watching what's going on and there arepeople that are playing. You don't Sim seen the sixth step, the peoplewho are the boys and the men. The boys are spectators, the menare players. They're down, I feel, playing now. If you're a spectator, you can become a player. You understand, or you could sitin the stands all your life and make believe that you're a player. Thisis what it says. And if you can't figure out what they're talking about, you know you can have it. You can be an atheist, which, as far as he is concerned, down the road. I mean,you're allowed to figure this thing out. In the old days they didn't giveyou that much time to figure it out. They say get down on your knees, but you're allowed to figure to take twenty years to figure it out. You can be it. You know you so they'll allow atheists and youjust need to desire to stop turning. That's to get into the stadium.You could be an agnostic, which is like an atheist, but you don'twant to say you're an atheist. Just want to saying, well, Idon't know, you know, and and then you could be another thing,and this is talks about the other thing, the third thing. You could besomebody who says you believe in God, but you're not actually it's not reallyimportant to you in your life. You're not really committed to it.You believe in God, but you really believe in money. You believe inGod and you really believe in sex. You believe in God, but youreally believe in romance. You believe in God, but you really believe incars and jobs and vanity and thinks. How you look. The truth isreally don't believe much in God at all. You just sort it's like a rabbitsfo to you. It's not the...

...central fact of your life. Andso this is what it steps and set says in step seven. You knowyou got a lot of people that way that and you know you can tellthose people. You can tell the atheist agnostics and the people that are sortof like on the fence because they get upset when they hear somebody talk aboutGod and means, because they get upset even though the book talks about everbodytalks about everybody knows that I'm quoting things out of the book. They getupset when somebody is actually saying what's in the book. They're not upset withme, they're upset with the words I'm reading out of the book of AlcoholSadus because they don't like that program. They lie their program. They don'tlike the AA program they like their program. You understand what I'm saying. Andso but the book says, really, I've seen her fell, who isthoroughly followed our path. Doesn't say follow whatever path you want to follow. So this is what the book says and you can try to figure outwhat it what it means, it says in talking about the people that arenot ready to be at humble before God and make God send peace's life.It says this. Seldom did we look at character building as something desirable initself, something we would like to strive for, whether our instinctual meetings needswere made meant or not. We never thought of making, honestly, toleranceand true love of Man and God the Deily base of a living whenever wehad to choose between character and comfort. And then, so you can,stops to confort for pleasure. The characterbuilding was lost in it does or donedust of our chase after what we thought was happiness. And then it saysthis, this lack of anchorage. So if you're sitting there saying, well, I'm trying to get better, I believe in God, I do allthis stuff, so I want you to listen as it says this lack thismay be your problem, this lack of anchorage to any permanent values, thisblindness to the true purpose of our lives. By the way, the true purposeof our lives is to know God, to get closer to God, andperformance works well, you know. I know that because in the bigbook about Whol sidence. It says once we sincerely give ourselves to him,all sorts of remarkable things will happen. Be All powerful to give us anythingwe need to we stay close to him and perform his work. Well,so, the reason I know that? It's because I'm a student of theprogram of alcoholics, anonymous, and I know what about alcoholics. Nod says. My attitude has to be the only thing I should be caring about isif I can get close to God and perform his works, and his worksare not only is to spread this message, and this message is about God,and to try to help other people here this fact. That's the message. It's not about not raising my hand because I'm apologized for God and worriedabout what people thinking about the okay, so it says. So, justso long as we convinced that we could live exclusively by our own individual strengthand intelligence, for just that long was a working faith in higher power.Impossible. Was a working faith and a higher listen. For Ten, agood ten, fifteen, maybe twenty years. I don't know how long. Isaid I believe in God, I acted like I believe in God andI did a lot and, quite frankly, probably helped me. I been abenefit from it, but my eye was on God. While one eyewas on God, it was another eye on the money. And he can'tlove God in the money. There was always another eye on I know Godis great, but if I only had a million dollars, I'd be okay. I know God is great, but if I can only get laid I'dbe okay. I know God is great, but if I only just put thepounds I'll be a what. Let me take you some not at ninepercent of my effort was in trying to fix myself, get better, getwealthy. Of My whole life was about that. And like what five percent, you know, holding hands in a room, saying the Lord's prayer.But, and if you ever heard me complain, you was complain about thestuff. Here's what it says. It says this thea. It says aworking faith, and I have how it...

...made it impossible. This was trueeven when we believe that God existed. You See, it doesn't matter ifyou say believe, it doesn't matter. You don't have to be a hatethis. If you don't say I believe in God, but it's you're notgoing to but it's not going to do anything for you. This was trueeven when we believe God existed. We could actually have an earnest belief inGod. That God existed, we could actually have an earnest religious belief whichremain barren, barren without power, because we were still trying to play God'sherself. We're still trying. You know, somebody in the restaurant asked me thisquestion. He says, how can I get better? I said youcan't. This is no, but I'm really trying to get better. Isaid you can't. How long eve been trying to get better? For years. He says he can't. So what He says you can't do anything toget better. Says you. He says you didn't understand what I was talkingabout. So listen, you have to be transformed. Only God can dothat. You can do every step in the world, you can do everythingin the world. You can run around the block, hockey, do anythingin the world. You can hang on church, everything I got until youturn to him and face him and seriously and legitimately say coming to my life. I love you. I give my life to you. Until you dothat, that is going to change. It's gonna do a lot of activityand you're going to fall backwards because you can't do anything. You know why? Because you're ready for this. You might have heard this for powerless.And there is one, by the way, who has all power, and thatone is God. May you find him now. And there are peoplethat are trying to find them and they can't find them. You know why? Because then we're worried about the fact that I'm talking about God all thetime. They're pissed off about we can actually have earned this religious beliefs,which you made barren, because we were still trouble like God ourselves, aslong as we play self freeliance. First, the genuiney lines upon a higher powerwas out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, adesire to seek and do God's will, was missing. And then it saysthis right when you isn't this a shock? Right after that it says this.For us, the process of getting a new perspective was unbelievably painful because, let me tell you something, if you're an alcoholic, that's how welearned shit, that's how we learned shit. Somebody says, we why do Ihave to go through this? Because you're a freaking goof. That's why. There's just stupid. As John Wayne says, life is tough, eventougher if you're stupid. It was only by repeated humiliations that we were forcedto learn something about humility. It was only at the end of a longroad, mark my successive defeats and humiliations and the final crushing our self sufficiency, that we began to feel humility as something more than a condition of grubblingrepair, grubbling despair. And then, you know, they talk about thefirst step, the step that I got you in here in the first place. You could be redoing the first I don't know. Is that the seventhstep, whereas the first step? You're going to be reading the first stepover and over and over and over and over again until you figure this thingout. And when you finally figure it out and get forty years and youfigured this out and you're proclaiming them and you tell him all that, he'sstill going to be beating the crap out of you. You're going to learnthe value of suffering. You'RE gonna learn what it says you, says rejoicewhen you you want us some you can to learn, even though you hateit. You can learn that there's something good at the end of other end. That's because it means that there's something that I need to learn, ifI'm going through something, that I am something I need to surrender, thatI haven't surrendered yet, that I haven't surrendered yet, and I don't makethe rules. I don't know the shortcut. You know, I don't know whatto say to you to get you...

...from three years to forty years orthrough years the thirty years in five seconds like that and you don't have togo through the pain and go through the stuff. But that's what this thingis about, going through, you know, marching through the difficulties in life,marching through and slowly but surely, constantly turning to God over and overagain. And so one day you're living it, turned over life and you'rejust you wake up in the morning, you think about God, you're drivingyour car, you thinking about God, you go to sleep, you thinkingabout God. Doesn't mean you're never going to have pain, doesn't mean you'renever going to suffer. It does mean you're never going to have fear,you know, but you wanted something that there's no fear or pain you're goingto have, where it isn't tempered, tempered so that you can get throughit because you having a biding faith that God's gonna help you get through it. You understand. So even when you're tested, you're going to leave lifeis great and you're going to be able to help other people and help otherpeople because of your experience too. And then, and that's that's what someof you, not all of you, are going to want. You're goingto want to you're going to want that's isn't that the step foot the steps. You want what we have and you're willing to go to any length toget it. Now you come in here. What you want. We have asyou want to stop drinking, but after you've been drive for about night, you know, you know whatever it is, five years, ten,you have, you've been drive. You know it's not about the drink andyou want, you want what that guy has with that could you want,you want something. You want more, you want more, and so that'swhat the seven stuff is all about. Thank you very much. I.

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