AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode · 5 months ago

Russell S. Step 6-7 Part 2 at the 12 Step House 6/24/2021

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Russell S. Step 6-7 Part 2 at the 12 Step House, Ft. Lauderdale , FL 6/24/2021  

My name is Russell Spats, I'm analcoholic and it's a pleasure being I'm. So I'm so happy that I grateful that I got to watch Zenobia. Is that your nameZenobia and P pick up the MEDEAN, so I want toI'm gonna talk a little bit. I talked a lot about something. Last week I rostesix. I think sex six, seven whatever it is, and tonight we're supposedly onstep seven. So I'm going to talk about step seven and whatever you'll figureit out so, and so, if I'm going to talk about six and seven, I want to talkabout Zenobian p. This is it I don't think this is considered cross top andif it is what the heck I'm going to do out and talk about it anyway, you know e's, like a giant tool box asa recited, every nut that walk is the door I haven't found us. I havedrinking a little of forty years and I've been working this thing, and thisis just my opinion and experience. Okay, and somebody asked me whether I ever getnervous when I get up to talk these days. I've beendoing this thing for forty years and and I don't I really don't now- you know I should never. Youshould never say I really don't and then next week I'll be a basket case,but but but I remember, I sponsor Joe Snyder, Icept quite a few sponsors and venters because they grow old and they die, andI I asked my sponsor once and I don't a lot of these things. I've shared with agroup already, so I may repeat myself, but repeating yourself and a is not abad thing. Sometimes the more through your life experiences repeats.Have, has you repeat situations, maybe ten thousand times before you say Ireally do have to stop drinking. You know you'd, be surprised how many timesyou do the same thing over and over again for over ten and twenty years andthen all of a sudden Ti cal, better b a you know yet. So I asked my sponsor, I said: Do youever get resentments? He said get him, I give em and I you know, and there was a partnerI said man I wish I wish I could have that, because I was always worried about whatother people think about me and and what I want to do is I want to keep. Iwant to make the message real, simple, real, simple. That doesn't necessarilymean you're, going to understand the message you're going to get what I'mtrying to say, but I'm trying to make it real crisp and real simple, and youcan I'll put it you this way. This is mysincere understanding of what it's me meant in my life. I can't do any betterthan that. I can't carry the message to you. I really can't. All I can do istry to carry the message and let me something to do the best job. I can'texplain to you about separating the men from the boys whatthat means and what humbly ones and the attitude, because they're all aboutattitudes that want to has to have in order to get to that place, because yousee here's the here's. What I think youknow when I'm asked to do the steps I'm gonna, I'm gonna, carry I'm not goingto try to Pandit, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna, try to say things that will make you like me. I might actuallysay some things. If I'm on tell y? U T F, I make it hate me, but that's! Okay,just a if you hate me that means you're. Listening to me. You know and it'simportant and that's how you got a message across people hate you theyresent you they ticket back to the entire week. I'll forget about all youguys. Might I walk out the door, but I mean do an thing oping for the WHO is that Igot a Lisan, then somehow it'll sink in you know it'll sink in or not sing, t.So that's the deal. So I'm just going to tell you the truth about myexperience and when I read in the book and now I may be wrong. That's okay!This is like is a pre country, but here's the deal when you know it's onething when you're on the first step in the second seven third step and allthat stuff- and I don't have little...

...confetti okay, I'm here to conference,disturbed and disturb the comfortable. But but when I get around six and seven, I the adult steps, the ones that separatethe on the grown up steps with the s there're. Actually People herelistening. There are people here, Ove thirty years that they've been so jaded and they're, solonely and there, and that so and they'reunhappy. With this sobriety and every a meeting they go to Amente stop drinking.They know they have to go, but they don't feel like they're gettinganywhere were, but you're never going to know who those people are becausethey know how to talk. It Amey, you Unerstan what I'm saying they know, dotalk a Amens and- and you know that's just the way it's going to be and thereare- and there are people here with with with time who want to hear a message of depth andway. They don't want to hear they don't like to be fed milk, they want, they want a surliness and there are believe it or not. Eventhough you've been told this story that there are people here that I knew thatwill be scared out the door and run away, because I said God or Jesus orsomething like that. The truth is that the people are going to get this thingwon't be running out. Any doors won't be going anywhere, that's a fiction ifthey run out the door. They will be running right back in to hear themessage, because outside those doors is alcohol, our best friend and alcoholics,anonymous, because I said before sort of forcefully and I'll say it mild it.So it's not the scary body. The great thing about a is: where giant selfcleaning up you have to believe me. It does matter with you believe you,whether you come around with you, don't come around teethes every year, everytwo years alcohol comes through a wife's had all the bullshit and all the guys that say I ain't goingto do that or all the guys that are balking or the half measure. Guys oryou know all that stuff. It just got to be, wiped all out they're going to goto jail, they're going to die on the street they're going to now they'regoing to come back in for the fifteen sand time and pick up a chip orsomething like that, because they, because they have an inability to shut the hell up and follow directionsand do what the big book tells them to do. And the big book is so abundantlyclear. But if you're an alcoholic one of theone of the consequences of alcohol, the drinkings, not a conspecta out O s, t Imean that's the symptom, the Co one of the consequence of alcoholism. Thatcensers in your mind on your body is the ability to hear a clear pup messageand water. It down the ability that here a message withsays of a mere code of morals and a better philosophy of life would havehelped us. We have been so ver long time ago, Marcones and morals. You know,don't help us. We had to have God's help and that's where alhalie getpissed off and says the happles on our neck means we get pissed off and saidwhat it says says this sort of thinking the thinking of the GNOSTIC and the andthe atheist. The sort of thing that you can do this about God, just based ongood orly direction. A group of drops were all that sort of stuff has to beabandoned. You had to have Sothell, God is either everything or it's nothing. What is your decision to be? And andunless your brain dead or you rationalize things, you tell you selfracial ize, so you just basically do this prone with the way you want to dothe program and that s the way it's actually spelled out, which is obviousin the big book. You know unless you want to unless you really want to justmake believe stuff. You know you'll, somehow figure out a way to doa a light and quite find this lot of people stayaround for ten fifteen twenty years and they do a way of life, but they neverget. They never get to the point with a rocket in the fourth dimensionexistence they never get upon with theirexperience o much pep. They never...

...really get get the joy of living. Theydon't get that stuff. They never really lose fear people in a economicasecurity and they wouldn't even know what thatlife is like, and there are other people. You know I'll call those the men of thewomen who have got in to the point where theyfinally surrender completely completely surrender. God has become the central fact oftheir lives. They are convinced that he is living in her a lot hark which isdemoratus doing for them. So we can't do for themselves. They understandthey're on a new basis, make some trust in and we lined upon God- listen to me.They never apologize for God. They never think the thought of apologize.An we used to work gone or tongue like our name meeting, would never evenoccur to them, and if it did they wouldn't they wouldn't they would stilldo it because they're not scared of you all they're, not scared of what you thinkabout it. You know what I mean. You know there there there. So the idea ofwe never apologize for God. We never apologize for God. All men offaith have courage, they trust their God. We never apologized. For God, they look, they let God demonstrates intheir life what they can do. So when I get to six and seven I take the glovesoff. I take the gloves off. You know it's. I give you just a plain, concise,clear, cut, message and I'll. Tell you what you take a yellow marker and youread the Big Book of Outhal. Saddam is Red e, twelve and twelve. You readDoctor Bob, the good old timers, and if you think that I'm striding thor, Ipress God too much with that. You Be surprised, I'm mild, compared to whatthey say in the big book of Alcohol Salamis. Do you know in the Big BookAbout Hal Sinam's? You know what it says. It says we encourage church membership, churchmembership. You know why they said that. Well, they tell you why they said that,because most of us do it most of the fallers, do it yo says an alcohol anomos O we loseprejudice, lose resentments and reges against organized religion. We begin to see what religious peopleare. Writing whether rightly we follow them along. You know why they said that,because they did that, not everybody does that because you lot,I lot got a lot of people that have not gotten to the plant wherethey've passed out and then when they're totally come into God, and sowhat they do. Is they fight that and they poison the rooms and they makeother people believe that they're doing something stupid if they mentioned God,they criticize they sit in the back in the back of the room. They criticizethat's what they do, how many people in alcoholics anonymouswhere the book says he, the Wood relationship with him is ruin greatevents, Rome, as I Calais, where it says we must give this self because wemust ever kills us. God makes that possible where it says once you makethat that serious decision, for God also is remarkable, things happen beingof all powerful, give you everything we need you need. If you stay close toperform, ans work right, he is the new employer. You know you understand whatI'm saying the maximum work for God and other people. You know how many peoplehave read all that stuff, seeing God on the walls, yea saying all that stuffeverything I just said the king right out of the big books. On my opinion,this is our basic text. This is the program of at Poltons Apendix to is, isnice, but it doesn't subsume and wipe out everything else. Okay, how manypeople have ever been to an a meeting and we're going to say something? Andyou you, you didn't say it? How many people wanted to say somethingI mean, but you didn't say I you wanted to ask a question. I mean you didn'task it. How many people wanted to say something even ask question about Jobiedidn't do it, how many people said higher power instead of God, because you felt that was more acceptable andGod was not acceptable in a a how many people think that it's okayand a to bash organized religion or cut...

...it down Bill Wilson, sponsors,basically, the same shoemaker of Colby Church and an dallied dowling was theone who came up. This is a man. That's the test who is trying to grow in theimage and likeness is creative with the capital city. How many people you haveto raise your hands ever sat in the room or even apologize for God, and we wouldsay something about consilii apology, I'm sorry! If I'm offending somebody,you ever say I'm sorry. If that offends people. What do you know why you're apologizing?Do you know why you're apologizing? Would you like to know, while you'reapologizing, because you're scared of them you and you know some- you don't catchthat disease by coming the rooms of alcohols, Namus you've been scared ofpeople, your entire life? You know what you you know what peoplecoming here for it not only stop drinking to get to the point wherethey're not scared of what other people think about them. One of the promises are: is you'll lose fear of economic and Scufanpeople in back an OP and security. How would people? How would you like tolive a fearless life and not be scared of what other people think about? Well, it ain't never going to happen.If you're scared to talk about God, an a a room for God's sake, you might be alittle scared out there, but with this material we're reading, you know withthe material reading where they say in the E in the book. When they talk aboutthe man and the boys, some stuff, I'm going to I'm going to read about to bescared in a a to talk about God with all thematerial is about that. When, in the when the last page, the big book itsays, we will not know you, we cannot be sure, because your real realize hasto be on God. He will show you how to create the fellowship you cray, how can you read this material and havetheir stuff to be in a room and be scared? And you know why you're scared,you're scared, because somebody in a a told you that you shouldn't do thatstuff, because you will hurt the newcomer, you will hurt the newcomer. The Wilsonfelt that way for a while and then doctor Bob good old timers. You know headdressed it with Henrietta Simelin and she said you know bill you've beenfacing alcohol to all your life. You don't talk about God, you're, nottalking about the program Botal Tomis and he agreed that was back in the good old days whenthey had you get down on your knees. You know what I'm talking about, so I want to be very clear about thisstuff and there about the big book. You can read the big, but you can do itanyway. You want, you know you could pull around with this thing. I knowguys. I know him and I love them have thirty years at thirty years theyfinally figured out out this thing and they jump into the deep end of the poolthey stopped falling around. You know I was thinking about Zanobiand Pete, but mostly Senoi was what happened with her, and I was thinkingabout a in the book of Luke Chapter Seventeen. They talked about something called thethe healing the ten lepers La perceive was a horrible disease. Thousands ofyears ago people died of it, they shunned them. It was embarrassing. Youhave to go to a leper colony and leprosy, and the story goes, thestory goes and- and I personally believe it's true, butyou don't have to believe it and it does you don't have to be a Christian.You don't have to leave in Jes ready, but this is the story because itmatches up with what I see it matches up with. What I see in her this matchis perfectly. Nothing has changed that this disease, everything we have iscommon demand. As a matter of fact, a lot of you guys talk about Earth Peoplelike somehow they're, better, there's, not a problem. You have not a fear. Youhave not a lonely, as you have that Earth people who are not Athol, don'thave they just don't drink. There are plenty of earth people three cocks inthe morning that are scared. shipless. There are plenty of earth people, threefiles out a loan. They just don't wake up and go to meetings. You don't knowhow lucky you have it to be able to go to mean when they talk about this stuffWakem the morning go to a meet and talk to people that love you and care aboutyou and everything. Nobody out there...

...has that they just live home to workhome to work. Lives live to fight desperation, so in the story of the ten lepers therewere these ten lepers and supposedly as the carpenters going though you know,the Parente is, as the carpenters gone through, the town carpenter, master counselor he's go todown. They please with them to say: Please help us because he was healingpeople and he looked at. He had pity on them and he said: Go Show yourself tothe priest, because in order to be certified that you didn't have leposhow to show yourself to the priest and what happened was and this actually,you may find this fit to believe this actually has something to do with stepsix and seven and it has somethin to do with Zenobi. So it's lucky is that isn't Yo GreatGod is, you know we're on six and seven and seven and he gets it Ovian here. SoI can talk about something to do with step seven, so he heals the the ten levers arehealed and here's how the story goes. You look it up. Loop. Seventeen, it'sokay, you're allowed because you know what you're no no listen, you're in AAand you're free to read whatever you want to read and you don't have to bein the AA coffin. You understand what I'm saying: You're free to grow. Thisis a launching pad. You understand what I'm saying and just in case you don'tknow and doctae good old timers. You know the guy. The man in that book saidthe books we found absolutely essential, which is what would that mean? What would essential men? What wouldabsolutely essential means in order for long terms of bribe for any sobriety.The books we are with rebe are first with and thirteen sermonem of about theJames. So apparently they felt it was okay back. Then no, you know one of the things thatalcoholis have. Is these motive things these motive things going on? They likethe PA. They like the they like the massage, a bad mode of over a good vote.They say we don't want to scare away the newcomer n. What the really sayingis. We don't want people not to like us. We don't people walk out door and saybad things about us. You know so they're scared to really give them thereal message. You know what I mean. You know we sortof beg them to do this stuff and everything like that. There's a lot of that stuff goingaround here. So so the ten lepers are healed and oneof the way the story goes is one of the lepers one of the lepstone over thepriest. So they can be certified and go to the baseball game and go back totheir lives. You know and see their girlfriends and stuff like that, andone of the lepers goes back to where the carpenter wasgets down on sins and keeps on saying that you, Lord, thank you Lord thankyou or, and so this is the. This is the conversation that happens after that.The Carpenter looks at the Leopard. He says as he as he staking him on his kneesand he says, but we're not ten healed. Yet only one returned to give glory to God. He says you may go my friend. He says yourfaith has made you whole. Don't say healed it his whole there's a lot of people to come to athey come to the doors. They do a few things they get healed, but only the tenth leper gets whole because of his faith because hereturned now. I don't know whether the deal is one out of ten. As a matter offact, my if you go by my cap, it's probably one out of a thousand, it was statistic float around about.Only one half of one percent of people come in here stay so for I twey years, O people want twenty years that aren'thappy with this surprit. But you know when I hear something likesonage say: Well, you see that's a Gal with the heart of the tenth leper I hear Pete says that's got with theheart of Tenth Leper.

That's what I look for- and I can'tgive somebody the heart of the tenth Loker I can't give you know- is Mavick a runinto ten people that are running out the door to show themselves to thepriest, so then go back to their girlfriend and they last for five years or tenyears or three months whatever it is. He I have others that have a heart oftenth leper and they will stick around a stick around and they hear God theyain't running anywhere. Is Mate they're eating it up. You know, because youwant to know why they're eating up, because they are into this program,which is all about that stuff and don't let people lie the ACTAEON. That's whatit's about it's about! Go it's about an abiding faith in God! That's what thesepts are all about: abiding faith in God, a commitment to God. Now let meread you a little a little education here. You know I mean, I know you guysare bright and everything, but I want to read you a little something I wantto read you. I want to give you a a definition of a word. His Abeer heardthe word diletante dilatate. Do you know the word? Dilatin means I'm goingto table the where Dilton means, so you can go back to your meetings and use.The word. Don't think an that's really cool. Youknow I do a Fowell you're supposed to giveme credit one time, yeah, the first time you say well, as Iheard Russell say, the second time is, you say was I heard said as I've heardsay, and the third time you say. As I always say you know, that's that's likein a a policy understand, I'm saying childens. Let me let me read you theword Dilatin see I give you shit, you can use. You know what I mean a yeah.It says dilatin. It says a person who cultivate listen to this because it'sgoing to come up later on when we deal with step, seven, a person whocultivates an area of interest without real convenent or knowledge, aperson who cultivates an area of interest such a without without real commitment or knowledge.We have people coming here and they have an area of interest in a a an areaof interest of staying sober, but you want to know something they have no commitment to it: Yeahthey call them. They haven't they. Some of them even have an interest in Godand even a belief in God, but no commitment to God is not the the focus their lives. Thisis not a program that can help those people. I no I shouldn't say it's notfrom me. You got to help them stay sober for a while. It's not a programwith these people are going to be rocked in the fourth dimension ofdistance, as it's defined in the program. It's just not going to happenthat way. Unfortunately, in this program, God is everything or esnothing, and I can tell you right now: a comes down on the every thing side.If you haven't fink that out, it comes down to everything side, okay, guest,what half measures of value? Nothing, nothing, just mere physical surprise. Yes, what there's actually no middle ofthe road solution. What do you think of that? No middle of the road solution:it's either all or nothing. Now you have time as I've had time. I'm not saying you come in here and youimmediately some people do it faster and you have time to sort of have itgrow on you. You know what I mean and I'm not saying that you're cominghere and you got three hours and you got to talk like I talk or believe whatI believe in, but if you are adopting a program which has to do with God being the cent a piece of yourlife, were you praying to God with your folksin a God about God, you're you're, developing a relationship with God and by the way- and this is actuallypart of the twelve steps, the Lan step, where you're constantly improving yourrelationship with God? That means, if...

...you got one year, you know you're doingyour reproving your rise with Yat. That means, if you've got five years, youknow what you're doing your improving your relationship, be God. That means,if you got twenty years and you believe in God, you're going to church, you gotto still be improving your relationship with God. It's like you, never get to apoint where you're not improving your relation with God. You know whathappens when you try to improve your relationship with God and make himnumber one thing in your life for forty years you get like real committed. Some people might not even like you,but by that time you really don't care whether they like you or not. You knowwhy, because you've lost fer people and fear of economic, an securityFisher but committed to God, because that's the most important thing in yourlife. This is the twelve and twelve. Nothingup my sleep. This is conference approved material. Now, according to a now, I know we'reall tolerant, and certainly we all want people tolike US s. You know, and that kind of stuff- and you wouldn't like my sponsor. What didhe say again said? Do you give reason you get resentments get them. I givethem. You know what I mean. We don't want anybody, God forbid. We should goto sleep if, God forbid somebody, we should learn that somebody is sayingbad things about us. It doesn't like us, man, I'll tell you, you go crazy, you'dbe calling up. Did I see something about you, an'ten apologizing and wornabout that shit? You know you know. I hear somebody doesn't like me. I saydamn good, it worked, it worked. Okay, I mean some people will sacrificeeverything in this program. Everything in this program willprostitute this program and everything in to do anything because they thinkdrinking is the worst thing that can happen to somebody I'll tell you. The worst thing thathappens is somebody is not get his face, sober and never get this program go to the banquet and walk away with aham sandwich. You know sometimes drinking is necessary. I'll tell you how you know it'snecessary, because in the big book about Fox and Omon it well in velvetsays the way we have new perspective is by pit humiliations and the finalquestion of our self sufficiency. It says repeated humiliations in thefinces of our self sufficiency. It says repeated humiliations in the finalquestion of our self sufficiency. It says repeated humanly it doesn't say weget smarter. It doesn't say that we fix ourselves. It says repeatedhumiliations, the final question of our self sufficiency, which is how you gotye in the first place. It means total total, complete, consistent surrender, the means Siren, mores and sometimesthat surrender happens because you lose your job. Sometimes it happens becauseyou lose your wife or husband. Sometimes it happens because you lose aleg or an arm or you get in a car fish and sometimes it happens. We go shedrink after five years and you got a pick up, lition the haves it all so having you guys,there's all sorts of ways that happens to alcoholics. You know, but I'll tellyou if you're not in the right path. You know it happens. God has a very interesting way ofdealing with reconcile trending alcoholics that balk at s and sometimesback at these things. I think we all do so. Let me read this on that. I made astatement last week, probably bothered a few people. I said: There's threekind of Athis: You remember what the six step is onthe separates me or the boys. The separation that here's, the definition the man or the women are those who arerepeatedly trying to grow in the image and likeness of their creator. The ideaof the attitude we have towards God, the attitude we have towards God. It'snot a lukewarm attitude, it's not like! Well, I held hands of the at themeeting. I said the Lord's prayer, it's...

...not life full, I believe in God, or thegreat fairy or the great gypsy, or something like that. It's not it's, notit's more than it's more than that. It's more than that, and let me tellyou how it's more than that. Okay, let me read you something from our material:okay, it's very sun. It says this is on step, seven, seldom it's and it talks about exceptseven, the problem you say: Ere there are atheists that don't believe in God. How many people understand that a atakes, a stand on atheism? Do you understand that there's a chaptercalled chapter to the agnostic? Now I understand, ates are allowed inanybody's lad in you, don't believe in anything in order to be a member inorder to be a member, all you need is a desire to stop drinking. You understandwhat I'm saying now. Look, let me let me say this to you when I was young growing up in a a mysponsor used to tell a story. It was a big cool, a a story, but it's sort ofgot the point across. So you've probably heard it, but I'm going to sayit again, and the story went like this: There was a there. Was this village upin the mountains. I don't know whether I said this left leave. If I didn't I'mgoing to say this village up in the mountains- and there was this giantgorge- that two thousand foot drop and once a year a guy would come upthere and he would string a tight rope across the gorge no net and he wouldwalk back and forth on the Tigro and all the band, William Women, kids wouldwatch him do it and he would go back and forth across the type robe andthere was a little boy a little ten year old boy. The way the story goesand he just watching the sky go back and forth on the Cairo and he says tome says you are the greatest. You are unbelievable. You can do anything. Hesays you really think he says yeah. He says watch this and he takes awheelbarrel and he takes the will bow up and down and back and forth acrossthe tie, Rop and thesis you are the greatest you'reob. You could do anything. He says you really believe I as yeah, he says, jumpto wheel barrel said jump in the wheel. Bear yea. You know there are two people at it.There are two people at a football game. There are two people in two types ofpeople: Football game. There are spectators and there are players. There are people in the stands watchingwhat's going on and there are people that are playing you don't since, in the six step, the people who are the boys and the man,the boys are spectators. The men are players they're down in thefield playing now, if you're a spectator, you can become a player onStotor, you could sit in the stands, all your life and may believe thatyou're a player. This is what it says, and if you can't figure out whatthey're talking about you know, you can have it. You can be an atheist which,as far as a is concerned down the road, I mean you're allowed to figure thisthing out in the old days. They didn't give you that much time to figure itout, they say, get down on your knees, but you're allowed to figure taketwenty years to figure it out. You can be. You know you so they'll allow atheistsand you just need to desire to stop drink. That's to get into the stadium.You can be an agnostic which is like an atheist, but you don't want to say you're anatheist, just want to say. Well I don't know you know and and then you could beanother thing, and this is talked about the other thing. The third thing youcan be somebody who says you believe in God, but you're, not actually it's notreally important to you in your life. You're not really committed to it. Youbelieve in God, but you really believe in mine you're, believe in God, and youreally believe in sex. You believe in God, but you really believe in romance.You believe in God is really believing cars and jobs and vanity and things howyou look. The truth is really don't believe much in God at all you just so it's like a rabbit foot toyou. It's not the sentia fact of your...

...life, and so this is what it steps.Since that says, in step seven, you know you got a lot of people thatway that, and you know what you can tell those people you can tell thebeatis ignotis and the people that are sort of like on the fence, because theyget upset when they hear somebody talk about God and means because they get upset. Even though thebook talks about everybody talks to everybody knows Nquong things out ofthe book they get upset. When somebody is actually saying what's in the book, then I uset with me: they're upset withthe words I'm reading out of the book of out Hosos because they don't likethat program. They like their program, they don't like the AA program. Theylike their program. You understand what I'm saying and so, but the book saysreally. I was king for his fellows thoroughly fall out. That doesn't say,follow whatever path you want to follow. So this is what the book says and youcan. I try to figure out what what it, what it means it says in talking aboutthe people that are not ready to be at humble before God and make God sendpepe's life. It says that seldom did we look at character. Building is somethingdesirable in itself, something we would like to strive forwhether our instinction meetings means were made met or not. We never thoughtof making honestly tolerance and true love of man and God, the delegate of aliving. Whenever we had to choose between character and comfort and thenso you can subsunt for pleasure. The character ability was lost to dozodone dust of our chase. After what we thought was happiness, and then it saysthis this lack of anchorage. So if you're sitting there saying well, I'mtrying to get better, I believe in God I do all this stuff. So I want you tolisten. I says this lack. This may be your problem, this lack of anchorage to any permanentvalues. This blindness to the true purpose of our lives by the way the twopartes of our lives is to know God to get closer to God andperform as works. Well, you know, I know that, because in the big bookabout Paul Sobs, it says once we sincerely your ourselves to him all sorts of remarkable things willhappen being all powerful to give us anything. We need we stay close to himand performance work. Well, so the reason I know that is because I'm astudent of the program, alcohol is anonymous, and I know what the a o theAlcoholic Stot says. My attitude, that's to be. The only thing I shouldbe caring about is, if I can get close to God and perform his works, and his works are not only is to spreadthis message in Dis pessiges about God and to try to help other people youthis a that's the message: It's not about not raising my hand, because I'mapologized for God and worried about what people thinking about me. Okay, soit says so just so long as we are convinced that we coud live exclusivelyby our own individual strength and intelligence, for just that long was aworking faith in a higher power. Impossible was a working faith and ahigh listen for ten good, ten fifteen. Maybe twenty years, I don't know howlong I said I believe in God. I acted like I believe in God, and I dida lot and quite frankly, probably helped me. I betted benefit from it,but my eye was on God. While one eye was on God, it was another eye on themoney and can love God and the money therewas always another eye on. I know God is great, but if I only had a milliondollars, I'd be okay. I know God is great, but if I can only et La- and Ibe okay, I know God is great, but finally is fifty miles. I'd be a AH.What let me tell you something. Ninety nine percent of my effort wasn't tryingto fix myself yet better. Get wealthy or my whole life was about that andlike what five percent you know, holding Ansina Room saying the Lordsfor but and if you ever heard me complain,you was complaining about the stuff, here's what it says. It says this, theit says a working faith and a hipolite...

...it impossible. This was true even when we believe thatGod existed, you see it doesn't matter. If you said it doesn't matter, you onlygot to be an Tis if he doesn't say I believe in God, but you're not going to,but it's not going to do anything for you. This was true even when we believeGod existed. We could actually have an earnest belief in God that God existed.We could actually have an earnest religious belief which remain baronbaron without power, because we were still trying to play gods herself wasstill trying. You know somebody in the restaurant ask me this question. Hesays how can I get better? I said you can't this is no, but I'm really trying toget dinner. I said you can't how long you been trying to get better for years.He says he can't so what do mean I mean. What do I have to do to get better? Hesays you can't do anything to get that. He says you dinners. What I was talkingabout. I said: listen, you have to be transformed. Only God can you have. You can do every step in the world. Youcan do everything in the world. You can run around the block. You do anythingin the world. You can hang on church me like that until you turn to him andface him and seriously and legitimately say comeinto my life. I love you. I give my life to you until you do that that isgoing to change. You can do a lot of activity and you're going to fallbackwards because you can't do anything. You know why, because you're ready forthis, you might have heard this for powerless and there is one by the way who has allpower and that one is guy. May you find him now and there are people that aretrying to find them and they can't find them. You know why, because they'remore worried about the fact that I'm talking about God, all the time they'repissed off of that we could actually have earned hisreligious beliefs, which we made barren because we were still triply Godourselves as long as we place self reline. First, a genuine lines upon ahigher power was out of the question that basic ingredient of all humility,a desire to seek and do God's will was missing, and then it says this rightwhen you is miss shock right after that it says this. For us, the process ofgaining a new perspective was unbelievably painful, because let me tell you something: Ifyou're an alcohol, that's how we learn shit, that's how we learn shit. Somebody says we: Why do I have to gothrough this because you're, a freaking goof? That's why it's just stupid. AsJohn Wayne says, life is tough, even tougher. If you're stupid, it was onlyby repeated humiliations that we were forced to learn something abouthumility. It was only at the end of a long road marked by successive defeatsand humiliations, and the final crushing our self sufficiency that webegan to feel humility is something more than a condition of grubblingrepair ruling despair. And then you know what they talk about the firststep, the step that got you in here in the first place, you're Goin to be re.Doing the first I don't know. Is it the seven step where's the first step,you're gonna be read, doing the first step over and over and over and overand over again until you figure this thing out and when you finally figureit out an you hat forty years and you figure this out and you're proclaimingthem and your tone all that you still going to be beating the crapout of here you're going to learn the value of suffering. You can learn whatto say. You says rejoice with you, but you want or something you can learn,even though you hate it, you learn that there's something good at the end ofother end. That's because it means that there's something that I need to learn.If I'm going through something that and something I need to surrender that Ihaven't surrendered yet that I haven't surrendered yet, and I don't make the rules- I don'tknow the short cut. You know I don't...

...know what to say to you to get you fromthree years to forty years or three years for thirty years in five secondslike that, and you don't have to go through the pain and go through thestuff. But that's what this thing is about going through. You know marchingthrough the difficulties in life marching through and slowly but surelyconstantly turned to God over and over again and so one day, you're living itturned over life, and you just you wake up in the morning. You think about God:You're driving your car, you thinking about God, you go to sleep. You'rethinking about God doesn't mean you're. Never going tohave pain doesn't mean you never got to suffer it does when you're never goingto have fear you know, but you want to something that there's no fear or painyou're going to have where it is in temper tempered so that you can get through it, becauseyou have at a bind faith that God's going to help you get through it ystad.Even when you're tested your Nevele life is great and you'regoing to be able to help other people and help other people. Because of yourexperience to and then and that's that's what some of you not all ofyou're, going to want. You'RE gonna want to you're going to want. That's,isn't that the step for the steps you want, what we have and you're willingto go to an like to get it now, you come in here what you want. We have, asyou want to stop drinking, but after you've been dry for a bad night. Youknow you know whatever it is five years. Can you after you've been drive? Youknow it's not about the drink and you want you want what that guy has withthat, because you want you want something you want more, you want more, and so that's even somestuff is all about. Thank you very much. I.

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