AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode 28 · 1 year ago

Russell S - Peace of Mind While Standing Firm In Difficulties @ Life Is Good Group 2020

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Thank you JUSTI. I scared to hurding or something my name is Russel an alcoholic. I remember Thetin Rmiami haven't foundour SA have drink since January, twosenty Finn, inetunded and eighty one. I was frunk La night e Lookat tesbutthink that it's good to be here- and you know this is, I think the secondlast last deals going be next leag. So I'm going to talk a little bit about t step eleven or ten or something I don'tknowwhat Om. My Kid. I know it's gonna have something with God. Probably this is interesting M. it's aninteresting thing. What's going on hat what I'm watching going on around owwas. I was on the way driving up here with Danieland John. I was on the phone. I had like a little and a phoneme. You knowI'm done in Anton on New York and put together sort of thing. We got about onH, Fifteuen ND, twenty to on the phone and Wewere talk, the most OFM Fom NewYork, Wen from different parks in te unit states aroun like a littlephonegum and I got to tell thit- was nice a we. Wehad a good time lot of Fin, but but the truth matters is nothing likeseeing Yo with I person, but you know they're, all like the rest of the worldis those are all so o worryied about this coronide. You Know Thi Sipir, flutthing. That's going on and IA'MSO to watching. What's going on around me, it's hard to know what to make of it.You know I'm just I'm watching the sort of which seemslike hysteria. I mean I'm not saying this wrong or its goers aer. It'sprobably good than it's aspecially good thing for dry run. You know, I mean toyou, don't ea know I mean when you complace is what happens if they will ewhen they let go the real sof terrorist cood, the real biological dealing. So Iknow it's a Driv run, but I figure this got be. It's Gott be like a real rougtime. Pravos, you know, hat's not be wron. You know,I think, scarer worried about dying and thingslike that. It's funny how you know, God works andhow things work. I was an Ateastor, an Ostet for manyyears or at least got an certain nothing to do with my life and thinkabout it, and I laughed at people. We were got centered and things like that whenthey talk about this book. But it's funny when I was brotto my knees ad, ansomand Ti was overwhelmed and I thought I was out of control hand. I was scared.INTON THI line was over it's interesting. How easily the thought ofline upon God, Cantome as Arrogate Asi Wasn, is smart. As I thought I was it's interesting how intantin it's it'sinteresting in the world the way I see the Worldof people that are sort ofrunning away from God and trying to be their ony God and make up their own soof God, so they coan do whatever the hell they want to do and Kno especially Ao know we don't likeontold what to do. We don't Lan e Displan, we don't lind people, aingdown roles of life and e Ri about Ma, got no god and shes on wite. You KnowYo, like God in he sky or God, on the tree or something like that, can havethre right, free, wive and Marrya doctor something and then do whateveryou want to do you knowcaus? You know your God told you that Y it's! You know what I'm aying. It's aninteresting thing: how, when you're complacent and you're pretty much likewe are in this country, but Serton in this town, not in fear of dying. You know, I mean pretty much.OALOT quicwe worry about things like losing our cellphone and you knowbehind the oven in the rend ARD. You know you know that kind of stuff, butit's we don't worry about Da Day. You know DII of Hubonic plag or anythinglike that. So yolive Er pretty much life where you don't really need God,because you know the government takes care of the God. Then, or you know, ourhusbands, wives, tat care, the God thinng or it's Findiu Don, like youknow our lives, and you know it's like at all. Guy Won said when yousaid round like an Ann going op upon the Wal oin down the river every once in a while. The Lot goes toa bend of the river and I think I'm Steering Alon You K Ow, but I wanted togo wit e wile goand. I can I get sort...

...of like you know I can so e Wi go around Inawalt an I beer here there to get my sweat, which is pretty much what I do,but that's about as much control wit over I have. I have all my life, I anyou, don't there's nobody aphere to even TNOWS wher, they're, Goin ta bealive and hour from now we going to make it on tonight. You know, but butwe operate oner this illusion that were liking control. You know Imean you know a f course. The literally Li idea that wemay not be abl tontroll, we don't know exactly what's toe happen, we goflipping bokers. You know full fear, but it is interesting when you thinkabout it to watch what happens as soon as throughout the World Nero Sociedea of. What's essentiallythe way, I understand a super flu which had O, maybe a hundred people wikill to you know what I mean and or for threetis tall, not sort. This is youknow and how people react and the incredible how it shuts the entireworld is shut down. I neent shut down, and this is only the beginning, stockmarks uppoand everything Hanpeople are running around and the the people that well somebody's crazy. I mean it's evenLedof the rest of the world. It's probably may it's probably me, you knowwhat I mean, but you know I mean I have a lot of people that Tik timeunderreacting, I guess under reacting, is when youdon't react. It all. Would that be unterreacting when you hol, reacted allan I wor, you know but and and someone you watch what's goingon and I'm talking about with almost almost everyone around me. It's amazing, the power of God and whathe coul do to people when he rips away theyre, conscious thought that they're invulnerable and in totalcatrol and puts them in a situation where something to kill them and theyhave no control over athat's Sou. Well, that's that's how he sa, I think,that's Amany how he dug 'm. Not that he's you know I mean he doesn't wantanybody Oranyin that so, but I mean that that's wo funny had that sort ofput some people in the mood to maybe pray to Praye, to think about things that they wouldnever think about. You know it's an interesting deal, that's sort of likeWal. We see Happenin in the world today, I'm not saying it's all the other badthing, I'm still trying to sorder tout of my mind because we soul bar stufflike that. But I'm talking about Oo Mot is the fair in the imysterior there isthere. Is You know this planning Tis Ing Soin on there are people that arejust hysterical. I know when you're Briin fo thosepeople ryou see e a lot of is jitted up by the news, media media and you can'tsay tha bad. I mean it's good that we had it's great, that we have sort oflike a thing roll in the earth. You know you know you can let everybodyknowing the earth they're going to die any seconds immediately. You know t Imean that's, probably bood s good than you know, but I guess I don't know, but but it's interesting to sotof watch asthe entire planet turns alcoholic and there's the turn alcoholic andthere's, and they got no meetings to go to. They got no meanings. All they got tosay at home and watch te TV and some guy telling them they're going Na dieand things are getting worse. You know that's an interestingtbut I or like eWaywo, with the with the alcohol thing out there you know hanging aroundhanging on top could come in any second come aut. Youhave no Controlo when your powers, oer ther's, just sort of hanging there. Youknow- and you know, as theasydamically sort of, if you don't do this and rightands what going to happen. It's sort of like that kind of thing were overperiodof time. I sort of sort fully nugs you andpushes you and get you to do things like ask people to Sponsoran, go tomeetings and join moovs and redbooks and do all sorts of thing I's, not justYunfolen or forward, but for the idea that although yoyour super sqart and you'regread and Youv got total control over everything except the alcohol which iscutting rapy in the POWERCON to kill you every second, it's kind ofinteresting thaw when they Hav y buy into that brain washing. You know, Itold my sponsor I oknow thiis brain...

...wachons as well. Maybe BRAE Washin,it's KITDOF, interesting o. How that hdanical sort of the alcohol can can just fi being here and Youcan,be worried about it and Maye that your powes around home continue o slowlyforce you. You know two three, four five yercent road intodoing a lifestyle that you would have never thought of before you caminoalcohol oand over period of I don't know ten years twenty years, thirtyears could actually give you the point. We basically lose your Mondy Searchin for and focusing on Dod. Youknow what I mean just US become totally a total back job for God. You know thatkind of thing, just thecause of the concept that there's one thing, itscalled alcohol that Youn get Yany. Second, you have nocontrol over and your promise is so interesting. It's an interesting deallike I sai why they say why all this insistence on any bottom cause nobody'sgoing to do this stuff or adot the attitudes wite up nless. I think theirlife tepeupon, especially alcoholics. You know and push them towards the God that so I was I was so likt. Let me read: Ane Coponre, a couple thints one he got Tho read this Wi am bell. You know, because You ben Hor alot. I'm gonna Talk: Alotabout Tha, Tha', wthe whole problem and e pretty much sot thre. But that's what as tat for about, but I waslike to read you can read about. I think you can pick any page about OFTAONOS any book in Atbox ONA. The BAS is saying it stans for everything. I'mtalking about that the exact the theme is trustgod Putin House help. Others,you know, make a decision. For God, all sorts of remarkable things will happento you. It says you really don't Kel TA CREP OUin bout. It yourself much ier the sub THAs! God makes that possible the basis.BACIS cusson wet an one on God. How do a rocking the port, Tometon existance?Having Find Peach Mine? You know the great factises as not the last guds hesu Etatote life. You need to absolutely deservin your heart that he he lives inthe hardmind Denan pop remaro is do fiel. You could not do for yourself, and youknow it just somehow slowly pushing you into that deal. You know maricotamoralo that have lost your life. Hone help you can't maduate. No person can helpyou no thatof work. You know Lik got like Os. AOON has on said nownotn. He INE wordis Mon Eline tree was 'tpossible you're, going to forgetethis thing out, art you gotto figure out. Why am I in is how my like this?How can I get better? The more you think, the worse you get, you know not until you give up thinkimagine that was. I was go my Phdin, an AEN thatis. I became a camel Orasiste.It was all about adalysing and thin Maitan an until my whole life was aboutthinking. I was smart, an being smarter and imagine t, imagine thete and I'm not braggingor anything. I'm just thinking about this imagine being credible type ofintelligence itaste when you got all that going for you to come to therealization that you don't know Shit, you know when you're like really smartand you really don't Klot and as batter fact, the things that happen to life issort of like indicating that's true. What has to happen to come to theconclusion that you don't know anything to get rid of your own bide. So muchthat you'll listen and you just secide, you don't know what yea. That's that'sthe impossible thing that this probram is all about. A takes people that wantto be in control. Think thers, warm everybody, a chief cactoris is te fine.It gets it to the point somehow someway. I don't know how it happens. It'sAmerican, where they decide, they don't know anything and they just stoppthinking they stop thinking they stopp wondering.Then you stop trying figure it out and all they do is gon to somebody thatthey thiyk Hash. If they want- and they say what should I do N, then the personsells tom go make comfin and they came from life of themunderstand. What making coffee has to do it staing over, but guess wo. Youdon't think the they go. Mak COFET and say: Go help that guy in the quarter.You know- and you know they need to go and they help the Gud. What is it Takhere to get to you know to lean to on...

...smart, you, you know stocking for me an such awatcht on amazing sort of thing. You know and the result is really mal until you.Let go absolutely so really. Leck ower that one thing than you have hat youknow is the only thing that is your saving race, your brain, the fact that you're smarting everybody-and nobody knows you better than you know you, but let gov that an just doit Somtin as somebody's hot. But just do what a pick El Hey tell you to do. I don't know choit some sort of faith, because it's allway tat, N Te Block.It's alway ot the book. It said very, very clearly in the blood, but theproblem is we don't want to do it as go the problem promise? I just don'twant to do it. I want to Doit Hay hundred and forty three. This is DrSmith. When Pam into twelve step claris thebroomater say: Zoksmot came later into Gor. He sat on the edge of my bed andsaid well, Lak parents was at the hospial, he wasa young man was very tin was maiat. He was thirty five years old causes onFran ut, saob IO, now ob was Thatso. DMOT SAT on the edge of the CLA is te.This is silence. Copen, TAT, Havin, those folster. He Sade A my bed and said: Well what doyou think ofbout this that he cause and lookd at me? doubtutely? I don't know if you're raning, you're kind of young, I was down to a hundred thirty fivepounds, no job, no clothes and no money. I didn't know how much more ready acould be recall. Clarence still I had to convince them that I was ready. Thenask. Do you believe I god young fellow Ye, Alwas halthe young fellow Bu? Hecalled me Clarence and Watas in trouble. I said: What does that have to do withit everyin every he said. Every ye apparently been worry about,scaring off the newcoer. You know I told them straight. Yo saideverything, that's a whole! I you know we do that'swhat talked tobobe back then you know when they said rever I seen virtevillwas thoroughly Follo, our pat, you know andthoroughly Fuckn, you know Awecon,we say, don't tell them that you wa, don't tell them about theGodlan. You might scare, we that's! The Dr Boton O said everything you might aswell want right. Now everything is bat, as you could go to meedinwes. You gotdown Nto Nes Gev, you lif to God, that's the way they did it, onethousand nine hundred and thirty five one thousand nine hundred and thirtynine when they wrote Uthe Bigbok really Havyou seen him for the Fal who wasthoroughly fall, our pan, that was their a Bos. They found absolutely essential toFirsta in thirteen seven on the Nou it the book in Ja, their cat was to say welose all prejudice. We lose all prejudice against organized religion.We begin to see where they're right, we say, I'm spirituall not eligious and we mafor eice eligion and we get mad whenever wers Ha. We, U say, don't worry about y God thandon't talk about you Gota thing and we cu down r Otl Bill Wilson and Dr Bob. You know Idowice people and they they work with people like head Downin, the Judginprest and San shemaker people in Plut to our great friends those wor we canreturn to when they talked about the six set that separated the men onthe boy t AAs othse people. They talk about okay, they even sentte hers,Church membership. In order to appreciate conscious contact and IE. Wesay that that's oenn happen, but I said we sai the Progeis tthewdot say that TeFellowship says that by the way, this isn't exactly well, pes onus, it's groups of this is the big book.This is a big fuck in the program which rigger down, ifwhich hasn't changed. An the followship...

...is a huge group of people who are at allstages of illness because of alcoholism, trying to figure out how to stay soberwithout actually doing this shit. You know what I mean, because they'sdefine because part of the disease apolism is denial and trying to do ityour way. So no I mean what does it take? I thinkit's averable ir alcohol, some Alcoholin one day bus lose from thegrownd and actually reads the Big Book and sees what they're actually saying.I think it's a Berican when they, when a person in he actually reads the plainlanguage of the bull, Thos seese, what they're saying thatiswhat they say to do. You know I mean and tops worried about what thebananasand next Tome may may he's Goinna. Think about really. I think it's just an amazingthing. I think God for the fact that there a that somehow the Lord or tod isgiving some people that ability, thet courage or whatever to do somethinglike that. I guess it's: A prootrantionrater, tha promotion. Ifyou see something o somebody, you want what they have and you got to bewilling to go t Hanla to get it and sometimes wonwe Goto light beingstaying apart from the Prowdin Othol Aonatus and be moing to have peopleafghter you and mock you and make fun of you and because you go to church, anLik bob studying talk about God or whatever Hes, and you make peopleontalktble because because they're not doing it and they don't want to do it.So if you're doing it, if it's worth of you in' sort of scary, because thenmaybe you might have to change if they don't want to change whatever I don'tno. So when you saidyou said you believe not Efelland, you always told the younel when e call theclient anos in trouble. What does that Apdewih at everything? I guess Iguessing nothing. Yes, nothing! You! You do you don't? Well, yes, I do.That's fine, not the body ply. Now we GETN someplace all right get out ofther on your knees, wo're going to pray. I don't know how to pray. I guess youdon't ut. That's all right! Just follow what I say that Olo for them I tid whenI was worde to do planets said there were no suggestions. DOTAMOB was alwayspositive. About is Tay Claren said it a someone asked him a question about theprogram. His usual response was what Das it say, any boodboot in the vilensuppose who's Aske. What's all this person first to talk about be readywith Te, perfect quotation season, first Agin with God his righteousnessand all these Os sal e Ayouthe Bibe, and so that's how Ey di when they wereTong when they were doing their Cag, that we AV cose, O theroe Poe. So I was, I happen to BEA meeting my Humdo Wan toyou, atwelv Twelve e Pol, twelve anere doingthe eleven step, and so they were really to be lone step. Now I you know,as I said I around thirty nine years and I've Ben is e old oer o were Gein,but it's sort of like a miracle Sintrestin e Spiritaltan. I guess howyou can read things allwarand over and over and over again and hear them, andit's not really hay. You know I meaven, so they hapento read in this in the Alimmu step, Ich quite a few Paes intolv Al twelve and they got to Oer the Rad, a smalllitPagra on page one, Oh four of the twel twelve, it's five sentences: Ther Wer, five setencesand Allsuden hitm ban and something hes FUC. Probably I prob Teina, but re SI s to by fors something thatis part of my life right, something that describes my life now. You know, I guess sometimes you justhave to change. You have to have let the Lord Change You. You know what isWat, have done, call dounerstand. He said and describing his PSYCHEC Tran,he said ideas, emotions and attitudes that are beguiding forces of thesemen's lives. Ore Shifted to one side and they become they become dominant by home, Setbi,these emotionas and Atitudes, and sometimes you have to change your wholeigm perception of light and how ies our...

...conception change inqorte of the Viga.It changes by compute humiliations, an upon a pustor of more self sufficiensan.The changes are whole ideas about sex, about women, about men, aboutrelationships about what's important priorities, change slowly and sometimesquickly. The same way: Oure Activ, that alcohol change. Remember how YourouRemember, Haw Your Agu about how Alcoldis you know, one Dan O on hear wit, Bat m home thenext day you got crushed and you had another idea and Ki Tane something IDhappen. It seems to happen kind of Quik. I don't! I don't take a long timeworking up to it, but once you get to the point you get to that point that spot wher, they call the VIMOT. Ithink they call Yo jumpin on plase. You know they say they said it said when they talk about the GuyWhoas, dreagme e driving mom and says I don't Tissi, feel better look ut, Isays he's laughing such Sallyn. You Know Ho so play the old Gami gamebecause he's not happy with his sobriety. So the no woman is is hue men.Do It wisho jumping off place that they talk about the three horre an on sortof stuff? You know you get to that por you! I got to that point on December,twoueanty, F, N, Tusandnineheen, n eight was certain on es a Om. My lifewas over. It was never going to get better again and I got down on my kneesand ask o Eli got thate. I was not of Godi to tell you thatit's, not goingtore me talk about God. I got to that point when the consequences of my dringoncame out me fast into my billion up lower my standards. I got that pointwhere I was overwhelmed. You know it takes time. Sometimes ittakes time an can crush. Sometimes it takes a long. You know,let me Tak something: they don't arrest you for driving one lostin and then we reston drawing wel beinggreety when the rest of the driving long,gossiping or Paracter Sessenes. Other words, you can get a lot way with a lotof Crak a lot of bad stuff. That's unhealthy, onhealth pendencies for along time may even die with them and manage to have some sort of life can dothat the drinking thats, something you know.Eventually you get a Dy. You know you get the wor, you know stuff happens thelifestile's falling apart, maybe with the drugging even faster, but with thelusting with the sexting, with the sexine with all the other stuff. Youknow the being greedy and envying and all this sort of stuff it weren't soits way it's Mak it I miserable and unhealthy and hungry and left wanting,and maybe yoin ease and unhappy, but you can sort of live with in for oneperiod of time without getting arrested. Well, you know lot pine. You don't likefor. I repesenta Lon do thats in charge of like stealing indezzlment youknowsee. We see it all. The Time Yo o a red, lit'Sten IV, the answer ecause,they greed. Why do wee still pustter gready,because Theyre Losti, you kno? I got a lot of a lot of people O in trouble,Wis fors sexual things. You know because the Los Kets guy I mean, butit's not as fast as the dreatorthat, you know, but ther. So I get I get these olded,so these ideas change over a period time. He Change Me Ansolin a show that get involved inworshipping pickin down focusing on- and I don't I saw you know the six stepis all that settling says. You'RE GOINGTO set. You knowwhere you Gonto be coming. Are you going to come and ti o Ba Ave? God YouMo? Are you GOINTO, settle Othewayar Gonta set up for the factthat you're not draking toup in all these other areas and tryto track im way to weasel around it? You know I mean trusting. You know ifyou got some really bad crack going on your life, that's either sort of bottom.You were hurting R, other people that you don't really want to talk about. Itmeans, and whatever teck it is, I don't know what it is. Col be a lot of thingsan you know. You don't want to don't do the God just rip you apart, just Truk figurint how to get away withit. God? U Gilty in TAT and IFORT, do OLsorts of things: Bout Changin, you Wifeso here, here's the so I happend to read as so. I agreethat Actuallyso th like something that im I'm aboutright now, thinthes Ho thing I do wit Tinin the B I like Weim solly and Ilike thinkout theyre, actuall saing. I, like thinking that you know thinkingabout what they're saying I somebody Yo were vast a you a it says: whereeveryou have seen Piil whoas thoroughly, follow our pan. You ever sad. You Mosheard that a many times right, reery...

Havea Sen person that fail wasthoroughly Paule. Hal An have you ever to o what they're saying on that oneline says they rarely seen a person fail, whos, thoroughly thorough, fal Te. That means you will not say if you Thoou, follow their head Ndthenyo Obotol Times as Tis stuff aryou thoroughly fon with their parent, so Wawas that somebody asked me on that phone calltoday. You know that we had in o New York Epol. He said what do you thinkabout this Siddea of I think I o talk about people puttingdown relision or when You'e fun of losing, I said. Well, let me ask Mossomthing aid. I ask Im this question. I donowh o the question I sai hat youever heard of this Inouholtanomas, the part wheresays an AA we lose, which I think refers to the man. I think 'll be first o peoplethat ill have emotional, surprie, Ben Rocking Port dimetionises maturesurprise. Have you ever heard this in a now es the big o? When I say the bigbook, I want you Kno. This is, in my opinion. This is our basic text. This is whatwere supposed t all gre to have you ever. Have you ever have you ever heard this? We lose all prejuice what PRECOIC? What parter pro some presents? What WOAT IS AT DOE SA Lose Sonpractois? We lose all prejudice even against organives relation. We begin to see where religious peopleare righto o. So I ask this question. So what am I tothank up? What am I to think of WHII people whenthey start putting down church or Liev or religion? Why ask you so this? What I do they do that I'm Ni gn the answer. I don't answer I do they do that, because their sober are those people sober ar they emotionally mature and so arethey have they reached wherever you're supposed to reach to be that kind ofperson in the big book that is in that is supposed to be a sober person. I'LtCaref they have fifty years. Is that what is? Is that what isdescribed as sobriety in the Big Wook of Alcoholic and onus yeadeionthawhat? Do you want you wantto be Soer Watd, you want to be cold, you want to be sober, or do you want tobe cold? You know, O you want to be rocking thefourth dimension of existence or you want people to like Yo. You want to be popular or you want tobe increasit yourself, an your got. Do you want to have friends? Ori Mean I mean what Ou, what you want,a you, Wan Friends Wat. You want to be afraid of dyi, not haveher Le Etell. You Choice, Yoget at Bo now. Some people can never make the choice. Itsa a OAO OL SES inthe book. It says, there's some people that care doit. You said not says Batitsays they seem to. They seem to be born than W. that's what he say. They said they see,they don't even say ther their bad people an they said there 's somethingon just Asart nonforn to be able to accept this deal. It's almost like it'sagein! I don't know I I don't count. Anybody out. I justSAE Vogle says foune now, so thi is e. five sentences,you knowwe a found, the actual BOI teand. We have found in a SOM one for a to wel in a Iwas doing this Oneb,I'm gonna ssces o this one. This is Goa. This is really hom ohepuassume thateverything you hear in Ai Posion, Includ, Nonyou Cet, I stuff on saying.Maybe a hundred percent of stuff, I'm...

...saying but everybody anything I readfrom this literature is the Gospl is absolutely true. If you understand thatand don't try to change it, don't try to gesays yeah. But you understand I'mnot like that. I S talking o. This is the truth and the benefits ou can getfrom it is to dependen on whether you believe it to decide to Bolev its te truth or you decide to ignore it. You understand what I'm saying you know: What does it say about Modete Olda?What did it say? The result was nal until we let o I an Justhav to let oyou gotto make a decision for God in a you, don't have to listen, youdon't have to believe in God. I'm gonna help you APS. You Dont happen what yousaid. What, if I do you say N Sa we tisten so Yo Onta say, but what? IfI don't believe it not do it anything just decide? Yo, Gnna, Leve, a god, anjust Bak. I Esa just make a decision decided a LN N Whatye said Allsi. What, if I don't want to Goowork, Gobgo to work younerstand, I es you, don't want to go o workbecause you don't feel like Ol te work. Becaus like I said so work then o comeme up the next day and say they fire e to a job he're not going to do. If you don't want to go to work into gowar, and I say you feel better you're not far from the job. So, if you don't want, I you don't wanto you got or you don't believe in God. You don't feel like you, leaving God oryou dont understanding on sin, O goint blieve it of any as that thin any sense. Wesoul callfagantake a decision. You know you know. FIS TEIS IS BEGIAdecision. You know make a decision that you'regoing to be a Godguy you're, not gonna, be shame. You G, Eyou, N es what Yomake that SI proto decision. That's what I have to do. It's calledmore toth sta in a e we have found in the actal thatthat the actual movesults of prayer are beyond question, which means this is mytechorgist. I aree with the saying is that INE theactual good results of prayer Ar Beyon Hus? That's what I did that is abod evea question bout, Thattha, noENB, O tw He'e San- is that it is beyond question that prayer toGod worse and it gives good resulce how many people want good results intheir lives, making decision we Gotara the Biblesays, and I think it's also Adaes is pray without season, not just the Lord's person and not justti Reai far before Durim, even as a walking afttedewor going back in Ta Wer just pray, it Hout seasin. So what happens if you praye? Whathappens if your was talking about a pray to God, a think about Theote Tat,O God? What happened? What kind of person you be gone? You become a person.WHOs life has centered upon your creater. He becomes a cental fact of your lifebecause you're always thinking bouter you're, not thinking about the money orthe woman, what you Knon't haven, the BOT, your crat, which, interestinglyenough, if you read the Big One, te Batbossl mate. It says the great backof this and not the plas to be rocking efort Matche of RESISTENC existence. Itsays that our creator becomes a central, factof.Ro Live you get it. You know- and this is a lotof people- think that this is like mysterious stuff, that is on mistory.It's only a missin alcoholic because theyre SUID FOR LA I don't even I'm not Veri man byfeeling, so I trow I'm an Aton Isgo Sisto because they just don't see.What's like right in front of them, you understand so you know that's e. Thenext pointit is INA o found an the ato fod as alsofrair. It's amazing how this stuff is...

...like very egor right in front of likethe sea, where it's like right, fron, you o o gjus on'tknow. What's God'swell, whereis aiwas is I don't understand? How do you do? Okay, an a found, the acus of theprayer beyond question. They are matters of knowledge and experience. No,not all Carabi, apparently experience matter. Someonpeople say to time doesn't mean anything. I get that you coan have thirty Rinears of Yi Aana. I get that you got five wes on eget to that can attemp theto be but experientially as you gont you line and as ai say in the big bookan and how Wul I sa t the way we get. I perspective of the Bi repeatedumiliations and the Finnal Cusson of our solve UFFICIENCY. So if you get AiRespectiv Goo perspective by getting humiliated and crossed well you're, analcohol if humiliation of being cauton works, humiliation being cushed, twotousand times, probably works better. The more you Mamulatan crush theproblem, Wi better and listen, O N, I'm going to be seven one years old in fourdays, so I've had seventy one years ofhumiliation and pressure. So you understand something: it's notthat part. It's just ha! I've been stupid more times than you have understand. I match my StupidityAgainst Yours. Anything O. We you're, like, like young Bullshit Stupidas amatter offact you've got so much stupidity to know it's ditusting, youknow mean I epare most of it not allfit use breatde the mis today I just used that not much Tomittin left of mind, untol boss,Don a little bit but not much stomidity, and so since I cund still get so manytimes. I D heard so many times, and I meuse it. It's very hard for being beto continue tec to you understand all thoug it it's possible. I have to sayit is possible. There is some stoten lev ther in t, MI, waver, ther bans orKnowledgeosan experience. All those who have persisted noas a this is gonna Li.This one all those who have persisted bothe wono e Jefk James, an olve says it says wejoics when Tet, tribs andtrimulations of every time. Rejoice, because when you persist and endure myfocusin on God to Lo Rop your faith grows, you get even more tan which, by te by the Elevi step, has something aboutimproving your conscious, Contacti Gon with Ob. So if you want to prove yourcontest, constant contactet God as he throws you all these opportunities forgrowth- that you think are hard on, you know what I mean like some of theprapter gin need this. You know, you know you just a personver Trou win antrust: Thattuss thelord, an as Yo Poryou, Felit, N, Gros efectiual in the West, dehelps Omo ColiIII, theyr man, O knowledge and eperience. All those who have persistedwith faith have found Strai, not order. GAE E, so you'll. Take me on an Alcoholi. I come a down Boin Onthis, one thirtyone years old on theworks and I'm an attorney. I have a Soo I seesometimes and I cump to a indesid like total basket, taste baster, taste an than jus not to be been arrested, Rathat Stoff, but emotionally I ham a basket taste. I can't stop drinking. Iwish I was dead, I'm scared of dying, I'm a basker case now min to I haveabslally no obligations. I've got me the only people person Ihave is me and nobody else in my life, no real friend, no real connections, no,nothing! THEVORC o Wan above good one at the Mor okay, a basker case life onthe planet or for me, and I'm notgetg on the street, I'm in and on abeautiful town house, and I am overwhelmed and disgusted and feel like.I want to kill myself and that my life is over, but I'm scared of dyne and Ican't stop drink at thirty unred years old. Thirty, one years old, everythingGod way, overwhelming powerless, oer...

...alcohol, whil like totally UNMAGIAB,okay, no Strai, colmitte and handle thisworld I ma on town or something one more problem. I pould't Havo one more problem, notone more problem, and I don't have ay problem, I mean one more oeol beproblem to be- would have been over o efigeraton Doi an before thatwould have been way to much. You know I mean you kno. I can't take it. Cant HANDL CA so now be seven on years old can't hardly walk. I've got a white four children, sevengrandchildren Alaw as three secretaries, also judges, a people sponsor sponsi,also to be also a more softbone Oen. My Life Shog in my life, things are cominghappy every day, every second the day, and I don't even notice it. You know I'msort of like like sleep walking through line this week. My Bro was sound wandering around by the hospital Maso League on his brain and took himin so he's in the hospital he was watching over Min Ao Eighteen Nety,eight gearold Alco, and so I SOMI had to figure out how to take careof my brother in the hoslittle bit and taken care of Myalo won Mo loffice doall that stuff and then there was a whole besh of other things that weregoing on that wont. o You know, one of thethings discover is just becosous over why you can still come at I mean Shit happens. Let me tell youand allsod that happens and something else happens and something else happens,and it's all happening. The atheame Im why you know my tout. My life is goingso well, so so well, Wat Reathin, I'm doing Tatba my line, iswanafmaybe God wasn't aing attention to tha I waslike and then, when all the shit came allthis time, cameat the Sametime Welyou finally noticed he. Finally Knowtis asahseecalls pursand he doesn't chastize those people that does love. If you, if you, if youlove your, you want o Ro, you Gev, you challenges. If you pray for humility,he just beats some shit out of you, Li ut. He just he take I tasom fuck away.Fom Me Etestou. He does thiscuss I, while he NSO. I sor look at thesethings, even though I'm not plaist with them, but things that havpen life issort of like ways of getting Mose Gon. When you see what happens when you lookat these things, an thins that, if you focus on in you, getclose to t God av the tractionees in your life, starting coming things torejoice about and feel good about, that, it's really difficult to have a bad day. Siit' real diffiulttohavall, those werepersistent, an fout straight, not orgarly. Your own theyave found wistombeyond their usual tapability and they have now Lissa. This is the col part isthe best part. Taandthey have inncreasinly found a piece of minewhich can stand firm in the face of difficult circumstances like that you know. Listen, I know the no youlike t promises IV te proises Tobuta at Te, sort of Bullshit inhated that T im serious, I'm serious. I thinkShoulaaon Othe Pats, gl LBPCEA. I like this. I like this and they are found inpresingly and they have increasintly found a peace of mind that can standfirm in the base of diffical circumstances. I would like tohave that Yo noh osomething how like that of stuff where...

...you have peace in your life. It's calldthat Ominiti, even when all hell as going even when the coronavirus iscoming at Yen, fiftysand miles Perot, everybody else is handling. I is HavinHeaden for the bathroom rapping man, Selesan Momey tape, or something otthat they're all gowng prazy and your like. You have peace, a Meo like your Prie, a crazy crasylike a fot and you knont, O the all com o helps ofosin getting closer and closer o and really that's what Thi Thing Isimean. You know you comein here an not Onin Thi, not on the drink, stop trait,but really as far as I cul e. that's, what really wonderful, Tus Om when Yoget in heer, so that ve.

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