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Episode · 1 year ago
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Episode · 1 year ago
Russell S. at Alive Again-Not Ashamed of My Faith In God
ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Than evening everybody, my name isrusfell spats home an alcoholic hand, I believe in Jesus Christ foras. Well,can everybody hear me? Thank you very much. I yes, let me letme just give you a a little information and I'm going tobasically share some testimony, which is important to me about about expressing my belief in JesusChrist out growing out of fear and therelationship between testimony regarding the Gospel and getting rid of fear. Others judgment, and I just want you before. I START I wantI'm want to like you know, I number one I'm out here in Arizona. I was asked about a year ago, eightmonths ago, to be the Saturday night speaker at a the Verde Valley, Roundup, in Tam Perty Arizona, which is out of the deserthere, a about two hours north of Phoenix, and so I flew out here with mywife and tonight they have a speaker and theyhave speakers all through the weekend on the Saturday night speaker. So I'masking that y'all. I know I pray. I always pray that I I exexpose my relationship with Jesuswherever I'm speaking in some way. The way the way the holy spiritof Lordallows we Otille wants me to, and I'm Ta s pre pray me that inmable tocommunicate the message that somebody in the crowd needs to hear about the Gospel. I also want to ask you to pray forcarryng Miller, who was with us for many many years at this live again meeting he's out of ColoradoSprings now the pom I posted early on that y'all can see ind chatmost you can see and chat where it says I walk. Lifes path withan easy tread about. His basically tells my story coming to believe and be saved by Jesus.Christ was first given to me by carry Miller, whowas one of the mentorns of my life, both ham and John Glen, and many otherpeople who have been mentors to me who are Christians. So I want you to please pray fromPastor Miller. I have these earbuds on. I don't think you can see him, butevery once in a while they cut out. Hopefully this whole tinl sort of work. The Internet here is kind of spotty inthe desert, surrounded by mountains, and so hopefully everything will work outwith that. So about I haven't have found necessry abateure.I was saved forty years ago I haven't found nescesfary to Haveadrink since January, twenty fn ne thousand ninehundred and eighty one, but my spiritual bottom was December- the twenty fifth monthbefore and Christmas morning at three o'clock in the morning I mean here, 'sTepers, just the facts of my Testamon IIS, just the facts and on Chrismas wornint at about two orthree o'clock in the morning I was thirty one years old. I thought my lifewas over and I turned on the TV and ther was apreacher, and you know I say two o'clock, theMorn of Ab n, Ondre and thirty. I'm not sure inh exact time...
...and the preacher gave his testimonabout how he became Tam to believe in Jesus, and then he h gave an invitation, and heessentially said if you wanted to change your life, that Jesus would change my life if I convited them into my life, and I I got down on my knees and the he gavethe invitation to get down your knees and Sav the sinner's prayer, which Idid. I said the sinner's prayer that that gearly morning hours oChristmas morning, nineteen eight now the fact is, is that approxiate. Thirty days later,exactly thirty days later, I have my last Tringt and I have' foundthus to of drink since that time. Now the truth is about my life. As I lookat it. It's notwithstanding the fact that Igot down on my knees, I December twenty fifth and ask God to save Yo for Thi Alcoholsman, save mylife and notwithstanding the fact that,after that and after coming into Ahox an onytus over the last forty years, I have been turning more and more andmore to my relationship with Jesus and trying to solidify in growing in my relationship with Jesus. Thetruth of the matter is is for at least fifteen to twenty years of that time. I was ashamed of the Gospel. Now, let me you explain Tou what I meanabout being ashamed of the Gospel and going into that a little bit. It isn'tmy! I try right now and I think I succeedin many instances, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to be able to be bold and allowing people to understand that I owe everything toJesus and that I'm a Christian wherever I'm speaking, whether it's ent aliveagain or whether it's going to be at this, this roundup out here, okay, but about twenty years ago, twenty twentyfive years ago, I'm a lawyer by trade. I was at the universe of Miami and it was a speech being done by JohnAshcroft, who was the attorney general of the United States of that time, andeverybody knew that John Ascroft was a Christian. Hou May have even been beena pastor. Besides a lawyer and after he gave the speech, I walkedup to him him. I don't know about y'all, but there's been many men in my lifeand women, but mostly men that I have learned ha great deal fromthey've said things to me that I've remembered even over forty years I mean obviously IV went to go to a lotof means. I've heard a lot of stuff over the last four years, but therewere few things that were said to me that I absolutely remember- and I remember going up to JohnAshcroft, who was then the attern general and somehow inquiring of him how hecould be a Christian and in the midst of what was going onand washing thing. Do you see at the time I think it's much worse now, but andand how he could communicate that message and what he said to me? Al I'll, neverforget, he said he said. Look. My faith will not allow me to impose my religion O my relationshipon anybody, but it compels me to expose myrelationship with everybody, and I've...
...always remembered that the differencebetween trying to impose Jesus on people, which is not what Jesus wants us to doand exposing our relationship. And then I brought to mind about that part inthe big book of Alcohols Andontis, where it says we never apologize forour relationship with God at says. All men of faith have cursh, they trusttheir God. It says we just let we just let him demonstrate to others in ourlives demonstrate what he has done for us, and so what I guess I try to do isI hope that somehow, through the Holy Spirit, whenever I give testimony what there's a demonstration of what Jesuscan do in a person's life, so one of the things that I suffer from asan alcoholic that I didn't know if I suffered fromfor many years most of the stuff we suffer from, we don't know we sufferfrom them. Probaby we learn O prettyers is, is fear of people and the judgmentof people, and so, as many of you may be realizednow, where you are there's this, even though the big bookabout Baxanonyas clearly in my mind, clearly in my mind, tasks about a program that relieves you of thebondage of many many things based upon the power of God, Ind your life thatwe're powerless that, in order to be relieved of this power of this, thispowerlessness and be able to battle this alcoholism a you beleavethis alcoholism, it is wholly dependent upon establishing believing and growingin a relationship with God. Even though it's clear that's what the book is allabout. If you want to be honest and of course, one of the one of theproblems with our disease, one of the consequences- I sometimes we coun readsomething and not really see it. You know we sort tof read and we decidewhat we think it says what we're going to follow when we're not going to fall,but I can tell you, after forty years the big books pretty clear. There isone o Asal power that Wen is God you need to find them now and you toeconstantly grow in that relationship. The truth of the matter is is that over my len, the last four years I havemet many many people who have been believers, who wereclearly believers in Jesus. That astounded me, I think, one of the firstones that really got my notice was out Kennedy when I saw him speak, and I wastwo months ober and he was just so incredible. He was strong, but he was an arrogant and hewas he was just anincredible speaker and, and I wanted what he had and Ilearned that he was dying of cancer and he never even mentioned it, and he wasjust trying to help people, and I remember that meeting what happened.Tomey is my vision for what Aa was all about, and whatrecovery was all about made a quantum leap from the idea of just not drinkingto an idea where you can actually be relieved of fear of death. I mean I hada lot of things thand. I was scared Aoft that I didn't even know I wasscared of, but certainly one of the things I would worry about all the timeis my life were being hurt, or somebody hurting me or something ThathadHappeneng to me here was a man who was...
...like thirty five years, sober who wasdying of cancer and he wasn't afraid and as matter of fact, what he wastrying to do as he was trying to communiate to others. Whath God haddone in his life, and I was amazed, you know after the Ecermin of the Mount.The last line of the summon of the Mount is is the line and the peoplewere amazed amazed because he spoke with authority I' like not like the you know, thethe scribes a and I wantedto have what he had in all my life. I would meet these men my light, my thenext person I would I remember, is, and there were many people before this andafter, but would be my sponsor John Glen Hay. My third sponsor all my sponsorshave already always spoken about God. All my sponsors suggested dire. TheBible, a d read the sermon of them out and thinks of that nature. All mysponsors always pointed towards God. It was clear they didn't. They were notmiddle of the road people, you know they weren't half, measured people, N,O Theyr t their hope concept was believing in the Lords, believing inGod Bill Wilson in alcoholics, anonymous number three Wen wen. Whenwhen till de Oxan is saying, he knew there was something more something something special that he hadnot got something a person ought to have a release of freedom for fear andhe's trying to figure out what it was, and he had bill Wilson over to see himand Gobleson makes his simple statement. He says the Lord has been he said tohis to girl's wife. He said the Lord has been so wonderful to me. Curry meOv this terrible disease that I got to keep talking about I and telling otherpeople, and he said he was amazed because you'll have this release andeverything he had goten. He gave credit to the Lord and the truth is you would have to pound people overheadabout Jesus? It's pretty clear to most people that, when Bill Wilson wastalking about the Lord, he was talking about Jesus Christ. It's clear to mostpeople that Doctor Bob was was was like ebout believer and, as matter Likt,many of the people that time with thebout Weliete the believers theytheyecourge church membership and things of that nature. So it's clearwhat the big book says it clear. This is clear with Dr Bob and Bil Wilso wereall about and Whil, so law lost it all. That is clear. It's also clear likelike they say in the Gospel and like they say the big book. They said thesame thing I think sometimes the big book is, is the Gospel for dummies. You know theBig Book Talks About Inthe Chapter We ignostics to Tass about how how once webring up God there with alcoholics this and there the hackles in the neck arise.UPF I mean they don't want to hear about. I they get upset about it andthey say this sort of thinkhin must be Aban, abandoned God, either Isariis andthent says that all through the BOT, alcoholics, anonymous and, of course,in the in the in the in the Gospel, it says, Jesus is very, very, very clear aboutthis about about losing the saltiness about not not being able to spread thegospel around an about putting it. You know like a like a candlestick like alantern up, he's very he stants. He says he says, don't be concerned. Ifthey hate you, they hated me they're, going to hate. You E Heleaves, noquestion about the fact that if you follow him, you're going to be criticized, you're going to be hurted,you hurt, you may even be persecuted,...
...and yet here I am an alcoholicsanonymous, which is a perfect place to talk about the Gospel. You know a place where the big book andall the literature tops about seeing to it that your relationship with him isright, a place where, on the wall it says first things first, which wasdocto Baoswav, saying ske. First, the Kindom of God and his righteousness andall things what we added onto you a place where, in Databat of the good oldtimers, it says the books that they found absolutely essential were firstthentand, thirteen sermon on the Mount and the book. OAL change a place where,if anything, people should be talking about God- and here I am in the midst of of a fellowship wherethe entire thing is about God- and for the first ten or fifteen years, I'mworried about what people think about me. If I talk about God an and- and Iunderstand that because because and the reason I talk about a even though we'rein alive again is because many of us go to alcoholsanonous meetings, many of usgo notleg oolsanomous meetings. We live Alife in an I hear so many times,people saying that they are sort of like you know, sort of upset becausethey don't talk about God, much at ther readings and and th. They wish theycould talk about God more at their meetings or what the problem is and andthis let me tell you something: The world the world will always always notwant to hear this and a is no different. I mean we're not talking about wellpeoples anonymous here. You know we're talking about people based on chapterto the agnostic that and off the back. Don't want to hear anybody talkingabout this and in what happened with me and I'm nottrying to bring anybody under conviction as Wiev. I ton in the powerbring anrybody inte convision if you ti Brot UN to condiction. That's O pick up with this o Bo Spirit,but the bottom is I can'. I can't tell you this that over a period of manyyears, maybe decades as I got closer close to the Jesus andas I wanted more and more to have this relationship with Jesus and as I gotmore and more ready to have God, remove all these defects of character as Imeat more and more people. I remember John An and let me take so it's not aneasy thing. It takes place for me over a period of time- I remember, maybe at around fifteenyears sobriety being in a restaurant and some of Youve heard the story withmy sponsor John Glenn, and I just got a vible study with himand we did a lot of stuff together and I love John and I'm in a restaurant inDenny's and now I'm used to praying at meetings. I'm used to praying Te BibleStudies, I'm used to praying in church and I'm in a restaurant in public andI'm starting to eat and John says. Listen. What are you doing? I said I'meating. He says he says we cant, you can't e. We have to give thanks firstand he got out his had and, of course, I sort of bowed my head. While I'mlooking around at Denny's to see who's looking at us and he starts saying thisprayer, it wasn't like a short prayer. It wasn't on one of these. You know,thank you, God for the food. You know, Guy, you know, n Jesus NameAmen. It was one of these long Baptist type prayers. You know like he waspraying for. Everybody in the world probably took about five minutes. Itseemed to me like it took about twenty years and I'm looking around the seaslooking at us, because you know why cause I was ashame, because I was worried about what otherpeople thought about me. One of the things I've always thoughtagot as BEFI. I didn't talk on this once is Romans one ND. Sixteen, whenthe apostle pall to the APOSSBL...
...twotousand years ago says I am notashamed of the Gospel, I'm not ashamed of the good news because it is thepower of God that brings salvation to everyone first to the Jew than to thegentile, I'm not ashamed of the truth, and so I used to think to myself. Whywould the A possbe hall preaching to Christians and preaching to juseappreacon to beat everybody there? Why would he say? I'm not ashamed of theGospel and the reason he was saying that is ecause. He knew that there wereChristians. There were people that wanted to do this thing and wanted totalk about Jesus, Owere, afraid and ashamed to do it. They knew it was anatural thing he wanted tos, let them know I'm not ashamed. Just like Petewas not ashamed in acx when Hes spuck, I'm not ashamed and here's here'ssomething. I notice I noticed in my own life, I'm cedtenly, not perfect, that I gotmy problems wit. One of the things I've noticed in my own life is that, as Igot closer and closer to Jesus and and as and you can call alcoholicfor lack of anything else, the eleventh step, how about that to give sometelivety to it, because I think if you work this program and you're notgetting closer to the Lord, if you're working this program and your faith inyour concept of Nesus, so the Lord is no different than it was twenty yearsago. If you, if Jesus, if Jesus and your faith in him, has to become moreconcrete, more concrete where, where you actually start becoming, as theysay, convinced that he lives in your heart in mine within a way which is atee ractless. If H, if your faith in him has not goteto the point where he is the central fact of your entire existence, if it hasn't start to become that afterten or fifteen and twenty years, you might need to look at that in terms of why you're not feeling as well as youprobably could feel or why you're not being rocked in the fourth dimension ofexistence. But for me I can tell you it happenedover a long period of time, but what I noticed about it is this andyou can call n emotional sobriety whatever you want to call it. I noticedthat more and more I surrendered I subrendered to Jesus more and more. I allowed him come in mylife. Less and less was I concerned about the material world, the things of thisworld and what other people thought about me. So, if you're one of thesepeople that say to themselves that worry a lot about a lot of things,workin find yourself having anxiety. You might want to consider the factthat one of the problems might be your relationship and how you feel yourfaith in Jesus Christ. You know the truth is: Is that the less I, the less I rely or the less?I I place my happiness and rely on the things of this world. If, in order tobe happy, the happier I am and the more I rely on Jesus Christ andmaking Te Sen piece of my life, the less I rely on the things of this world,and so one of the side effects. If you calld a sideeffect, and I'm not entirely sure about this,it could work both ways. Is that the the less I was concerned about thethings of this world and the rejection or approval of people, the more it Beitthe easier it became for me to talk...
...about Jesus and my testimony to otherpeople, the easier became to to let other people know that you know my reliancis upon the Lord andwhat the Lord has done for me in my life. Now I am I, as I say this, I justwant you to know. I do not tell I don't I don't tell mysponsies or other people. Listen, you got two years. You got to go out thereand Aman some preach Jesus. You know what I mean or do that as a matter ffact. I think pepl people try to do that and they cace people away from theLord An and the bottom line is. Is that I'm not saying that I'm not sayinganybody should feel guilty. You know if they're not a point where they'retalking about their faith or exposing their faith to other people. I'm justtelling you my testimony to what T, for whatever extent it has to do with yourlife, for you want to think about it. I'm just telling you my test money, andthat is over period of being closly. Two months ofbe, four years over fortyyears, I've gone to the point where I a'm not ashamed to the Gospel, and I doshare it freely. There is a difference between with that question. The way Iyou know, I love the a possible poy says I become all things to all men byuse of whatever means brings some of them to Christ. You know there is adifference. I do respect traditions in alcohol, synonysis matic. I understandAP, I'm not even trying to change a A. I like the idea. You know Jesus says weleave the ninety nine and we go on after the one I mean I you know, I'mnot criticizing anybody, but but people do Bulson was asked. When do you thinkof people that don't drink and don't go to me? He said I have no use for thimbecause they have no gratitude. I truly believe that if you're an alcoholic oryou're an addict or you're recovering and you've gotn sober throughAlcoholsonamus and twelve steps, you're there for a purpose, it says Donwild,give you US everything. If you stay close to mem a D N and perform hisworks well, and I believe if you're in Aa you're recovere, you have your royalpriest, your belong to a Royal Priest Fellowship the Holy Spirit and you'vebeen plantedinto the place where you can help other people, and so, and soyou shouldn't you know you got to leave. I mean that's so antithetical to theChristian life to hang out in church all the time, because you don't want togo out and talk to sinners. I mean the one thing I know about. Jesus is whatthe pharnises used to say: Abot is he eats with sinters and drench with themto so this concept that you don't want to people run away from a Christiansrunning away from Aa because there's sinners in Aa and they run away from Aabecause they don't like it when they talk about their faith. Well, you know.Listen. All I can tell you is my opinion is: is that those are listen,there's a great harvest to be done in Aa and a few workers, and so so, butthat's just my opinion. I can be wrong about that and everybody has their ownwalk. They have to go through and things like that, but I'm not ashamedof it and I think the other thing I'll bring up. Is it talks about when you're, when you'regivming your testimone, it says be wise as serpents, and I think there'sthere's enough in the big book about Haus anonyous there's enough in lackabob, the gotold timers there's enough in the twelve and twelve there's enoughor the AA literature I'n talking about conference, approof literature that ifyou read it and you studyd it that you could give e great Aa talk and bring out everythingyou need to bring out about the Gospel even about Jesus and Semlay, to testmoney where it's absolutely perfty appropriate. I mean I've done it. I'vedone it for years. Everybody knows that I'll talk about even I'll. Probably doit right a this...
...at this function. I talked about how Igot on my knees and gave my life to the Lord. I many times use te word the Lord. Youknow some people use higher power, some people use God iu, use God to the LordPeople, pretty much know what's going on with me and where it comes from andand I'm just givin my own personal testimony and our storys Tissois agenel way. What was like what happened? What we like now and you don't have tochange your story. You know what I mean, and so there is a way of f doling. Iand I and I'll I'll, just say this again and I'm not quite sure of howthis works. It seems to me the more I'm able to talk about God andwhat God has done for me and my life, the more I lose, the fear of people andyou know, there's a promise in alcoholic anonymous and heres a promiseand the promises we will lose fear of people and of economic economicinsecurity, and I think part of economic and security is being worriedabout what Peoplei think about you. If you lose material things and it's sucha freedom when you lose fear of people's judgment, and I think, ifyou're in an a meeting I'll just sort of throw this out therefor you to think of, I think, if you're an amy- and you want to talk about wit,dog stuff, for you in your life and how imporant it is,and you don't talk about it, but you're, worried about what thegroup will think about you. I think you should not expect in the near future to get rid of fearof people. Does that make any sense if you'resitting in an AA group with AA material and the stuff that we learnina thestuff that's quoted, and in Aa you stop yourself from sharing it about your fit, because you're worried about about thefact that o you're wondering why you have te most fearof people. You know,because there ain't no way you going to losefear of people unless you've developed ability to talk the truth about whatGod is done for you. What the word is done for you. So thank you very much.That's all! I have to say.
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