AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode 115 · 7 months ago

Stevie B. Step 10 at the 12 Step House 4/26/2022

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Stevie B. Step 10 at the 12 Step House, Fort Lauderdale, FL. 04/26/2022

Everybody my name become a very for recovering alcoholic group is the Golden Text Group of Hollywood Florida. It's good to be here with you guys tonight and we only have about twenty minutes so I'm just going to touch a little bit on a tenth step. But all really really needed to be here tonight for me, whether you got anything that I say tonight, I really needed to be here to see the medallions and I really needed to see Clarissa, Clarissa, Clarisa with the sea, and I really really needed to hear what you had to say. And you know, you guys may know or may not know my sponsors here, Russell, and he has a story about your one. A person came to him after the meeting and the said, I really really love what you had to say and and they told him what they thought he said and he knew he didn't say it, but he that person needed to hear that and I needed to hear what cloister said tonight that that may have changed my entire trajectory of my sobriety. And and I needed to see Ritchie and see him in his humility with his wife, because Richie's back in the day his chief character defect was pride and and he was and he really wasn't easy to talk to. He really wasn't like like I made some observations before he relapsed and he was like yeah, okay, stee, you know, talk to the hand. You know, I got this. Richie was one of these guys that had always had his bluetooth on in a meeting, which to me that's annoying. Like he's like, he's like he's like a doctor, like about to do a hard trains plant, and I know him and I know he's not a doctor and I know he's not about there do a heart transplant. I mean know, you know, you're not his wife's important. At that time he wasn't important, so I knew she can handle it. And he would come to means with a Bluetooth and it was on and I go, you know, Richie, maybe you should take that bluetooball. He's like Hey, this is this looks like is about the end band for Ritchie. And then it did. And then I would see him in the...

...parking lot of bj's and I would see his wife and and and we were and now look at him now look at me, the epitome of humility, and it just shows you what this program can do. And then I was there when Don lost the love of his life, at least the second love of his life. I didn't know about his first wife and his family, but I was there when when Don's wife died of cancer. We were all there to see him meet his wife. She was a beautiful woman that worked at a local place that we all went to after meetings and we all went to the same home group together, is called victory, and they had a honeymoon relationship. They used to sit together and hold hands in the meeting beautiful blond woman by the name of Pat and then one day she she got ill and then a couple months later she was gone. And that week I'm like, well, I hope Don makes it. Well, I didn't have to worry if donal's going to make it, because the next day after Pat's funeral, he was in that meeting at eight o'clock in the morning. He ate thirty and not show what it was drew, but it was eight thirty and I looked over and I learned a lesson then I'll never forget. And I'm learning that lesson from my friend Joe, and tonight I learned the lesson that alcoholics anonymous is not just about raw ride great times, which it's that awesome. It is that also like tonight is a celebration of the celebrants, of Paul's online right now he's not here because he has he's a little sick, but he's still watching online. Tonight is a celebration of all the celebrants, from from Josh all the way to to Dave. The total celebration. But alcoholics anonymous is also our hospital that we come to when our heart is broken and we get to show all the people how they stay sober with a broken heart, because the rain falls on the wicked and the just when these bad times are going to happen, whether you're the best person in this room, where the worst person in this room, and you have to be prepared for...

...it. And when I saw down that day and I looked over him and and obviously I can't understand his pain, I didn't lose my wife, I knew that a part a man can stay sober, a person can stay sober even in the darkest times. I asked my friend Joanne to be here tonight. Johan's a member of the twelve step house right here. She's got years and years and years of sobriety and she lost her son this week. His name is PJ. We're going to have a memorial a AC's for him this Saturday. Off You know where JAC's is. It's in Hollywood. And I asked her to be here tonight because the ten step, the steps, everything we're talking about is about working and action and about doing the deals in the toughest times. Joan doesn't want to be here tonight, of course she doesn't want to be here time, but she is here tonight because she owes God sobriety, she owes the twelve stuff house. She wants to be surrounded by love, friends and I wanted and I asked her a personal fair. I said, would you sit with my mom tonight, as her being like a mom to me years and years ago, always to do a lot of meetings again and I knew her son, PJ, would be watching from heaven tonight. I want you to know that this is not about staying sober. That's the byproduct. That's incredible that we're sober. It's incredible. Richie sober it's incredible that Paul Sober's incredible. So that's incredible. It's in a blessing, but it's not the it's not the main goal of alcoholics in Homs. It's the by product of having a personal relationship with God. Clarissa will tell you that she didn't come here to stay sober. She came here to get the monkey off her back. She came here to maybe have her mom get off her back. And and the difference. She came here initially because she was in pain and then something magical happens when you continue to come and you realize there's a change of heart happening. You realize your stony heart, you're wicked heart, the heart that hates people and is a big in and a racist and it's nasty. All of a sudden you realize to you look over a...

...person that you would use to judge and they're talking too law. You know nobody likes a long share and they're talking too long and you're not judging them. You realize that someone that is you would normally give a ride says, Hey, could I get a ride down to and you're not even going in that direction and you're like sure, you realize you start thinking about people that you would never normally think about. Hey, I wonder how Sally's getting to the meeting. Hey, I wonder if Joey's going to be coming to the mean today. Like I asked the guy that's in the back room tonight, that's running the back room. His name is mark, and I said, would you like to pick up my sponsor in and and my sponsor lives far, far away. When Russell comes up to do the steps that up here, it's an hour and a half or twohour commitment for him. He lives like just north of Cuba. And I said, I said it this guy mark. I said, would you like to go and pick up Russell and spend some time with Russell? And he's like absolutely, and he went down to Cutler Ridge Bay and he went picked up Russell and and they got to experience being together tonight and now and he's running the back room tonight. Just just sixty days ago he was a drunk and he didn't even know what he thought. Alcoholics anonymous was a was a program that you went to so you drink less. And for eight months he was drinking less. He was an AA. He was drinking less, but he really wasn't having any real great experiences. And then and then he started to drink more, obviously because we've all tried the drinking less program and it didn't work. And now he's sober like thirty five days and he's happy to drive and to go spend some time with a man that also has forty seven years. Matter of fact, that entire tables like the the last supper table back there where people go and they never return right back from that table like a hundred thousand years of sobriety between the four men. And so last week we're in the twelve. We were in the big book and we were on page eighty five. We get a lot of people that have heard me do the steps before know that my favorite...

...pages is the big book of Page Eighty Five, hundred and eighty six and eighty seven. I ask anybody that I sponsor, including ray at the time, to make sure that they know that what we're going to do in the morning as our morning meditation, we're going to do page at five, hundred eighty SI hundred and eighty seven and we start off with something called on awakening. We actually made meetings of the called on awakening. That we still do to this day, it says. This brings us to step ten, which sugest. We continue to take personal inventory and continue to set wrong any new mistakes as we go along. I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to be working step ten a lot. Yeah, I don't know about you, I'm a step ten professional and and that's not really something to boast about, which means I'm I'm making a lot of mistakes. So I have to continue to thank you, brother. I have to continue to apologize, take personal limentory and wrong promptly. Mean I'm doing a lot of promptly admitted it. I want you to know that this step comes from the Bible. So you may be upset that it comes from the Bible. You may be upset that the big buck comes from the Bible. I'm upset. I'm sorry if you're upsetable. That's not really what I can't change the facts. But this step comes from a place where you the Bible says to leave the altar and go settle with your brother before you ask God for any new blessing. That's what this is. Is it really important to go settle with your brother and I want to tell you a story. I told you last week there Russell told me that the people that you hang around with, the books that you read, the meetings you go to, the stuff you watch, is going to help shape the man you are, and that's why that man that just came up here, Don was able to get through and continue to get through what he's able to get through. By the way, the man that was supposed to get the cakes tonight, and he did get to the cakes tonight. The reason he wasn't able to be here on time because we was at a funeral for one of our friends from alcoholics, anonymous, that died this week, and he was there paying respects to that. That's what we do. We come around each other, we hold each other's arms up.

We're going to do that for Joanne this Saturday at JAC's for her beautiful son PJ, and that's where he was tonight for our friend. I want you to know you never going to have to go through anything along again. I was out in California. My sponsor, Russell, was a newly sponsor me, and he said we're all going to go on a retreat to California. We're going to go to a church called Saddleback community church or Saddleback Church, and we're going to go to this big meeting called celibrary recovery and then we're going to take a road trip in convertibles and we're going to go to the Laguna Beach California. We're going to go to the famous Laguna Club and that's where Chuck Ce was and I'm a big nostalgia person when it comes alcoholics and alls. I love old timers and and every group that I've ever been in I've been with old timers. I love here in the old timers stories. I love hearing about the original stuff and being around Russell and being around guys like that and they're talking about the old timers and chuck seeing the book, the new pair of glasses, I would just couldn't wait. And we were going to go down this thing called the Pacific Coast highway and I woul couldn't wait and we rented convertibles and I was at so excited about that. The funny story did has nothing to do with the step, is that one of my roommates at the time in my halfway house by the name of Todd C we were all signing up to rent the rental cars and I had a license and and Russell said to todd see, he said, hey, why don't you rent one of the rental cars? You you have a license. And then todd goes well, he was from Texas, he goes well, and then and you're also goes well, you have an alky license. That's an alky license with your have a license. That comes with the story. That's not a license. You can't rent the rental car. That's an alpy likes as an alky likes. I was like what is an alky license that and Russell go that that's a license that you have to tell a story with. Jared doesn't have to do that. He's sold. And so we rented these rental cars and I had the blessing of having my grand sponsor in the car with me, pastor John Glenn, and at the time he had forty five plus users. Sobriety is a Baptist minister. You couldn't get anymore pure than John Glenn. I mean for people down on planetor and not because he's...

...a pastor, because he walked with God. Being a pastor doesn't make you anymore walking with a God then you know, being a mechanical means your car is fixed if he stay. But this man was the walking embodiment of a true follower of God and my sponsor, Russell, introduced me to him and every time I would get around them I would ask one questions. Hey, John, what about this? He said no, no, you can't do that. I said, well, what about this? Said well, well, you may be able to get away with that. I said, well, what about this? Because don't know, definitely won't be given to do that. And and and so he would share with me on how to get closer to God, and so I was so blessed. I had John Glenn, my grand sponsor, in the back of my car and we all went from the place we were at and we all went on the Pacific Coast highway and we're going to Laguna Beach to Chuck Seas, a Home Group the Laguna Club. was very exciting and I didn't mention to anybody that I was in the car with that I have one eye. I didn't think it was pertinent at the time. Maybe they wouldn't have gotten in the car with me. Maybe I shouldn't have been the driver of all this royalty. That was in the car. I mean it's not always a good thing to have the guy with the one eye be the des He had a driver. But I didn't fail. I failed to mention it. In matter of fact, sometimes I forget. I forget I had one eye, especially when I'm making turns that I shouldn't, and then I remember. So going down the Pacific coast highly and everything's good and and everyone pulls into this one place and and I pull into the one place too, without failing to yield to the oncoming traffic because I'm so excited, I'm giddy. I got job let in the back. I'm following my sponsor. I got this other royalty. We're going on a road trip that I'm six months sober. It's like the most amazing thing. And but you still have to follow the the rules of the road, even if you're getting and and I pulled the car onto oncoming traffic and we have a head on collision with the person in front of us and and I'm shocked.

Right I'm shocked. I'm like, this wasn't I didn't see this on the brochure. This didn't seem like something we were going to do. And I'm laying there in the glass. It's all over me, because my side is the side get that got hit. And and I learned something about walking with people that are actually walking this program, not talking this program. Talk is cheap. You ever hear Thomas do that incredible reading? I forget what's there reading you do, Thomas, but that talk is the easiest. Why we were chosen. You talk is cheap. Look at a lot of people in AA. They talk a great game, but get into a heading coot head and call our car crash and you're going to find out who the people in your car are. And I was devastating. I'll tell you what happened. And I learned about walking with giants. Not Giants because they we put them on pedestals, giants because they've been walk in this program so long that they got their hand, one hand, in God's hand and they're taking in personal inventory and there and they're and they're letting go to the things that are unacceptable to them and unacceptable to God. And John Glenn, at seventy five years old, pulls me out of the front seat. He said let's go, and I'm all shaking up. I'm so sorry, John, I'm so sorry to with four men in the car. So sorry, I'm just making the I'm the new guy and I'm the one that caused the accident. And John Glenn takes me in the Middle Pacific Coast highway, in the middle of the glass and he puts me on my names. He said we're going to pray right now in the middle of the highway, cars all around us, police coming. He said would get on our knees right now. We're going to thank God that we didn't die, we're to thank God that we're sober, we're going to thank God that he still has a plan for your life. and He puts me on my knees right there and we do a prayer in the middle of the whole car accident and I found out during that time that these are the these are the type of people I want to follow. You talked about a sponsor. That's exactly right, but I want to follow...

...a sponsor and I want to follow the big book aboutohols and now is the big book of Alcoholics. A Mins my opinion, Paul's opinion, were else's opinion, my grand sponsored Deon's opinion that I spoke to today. I was on a meeting. I was blessed to be on a meeting with my sponsor and my grand sponsor on newon today. It's all we all have the same opinion, and this is the opinion that God himself wrote the Big Book through two men from Heaven and wrote the twelve steps down fronts. It is not just spiritual in nature, it's supernatural in nature. And what does that mean? Not The spirituals is wonderful and it get can get you very excited. Supernatural means things will change in your life. You think you would have came up here. You imagine how he was six and he's a wife, is on a oneshoe. Whack up. Now he's like walking on water. Everybody's like you. You that people were not people weren't inviting you to around. Six and a half of you. They didn't even want them around. There like you to go home. That's an actually you too stands for go home. Richie, the same thing. And then all of a sudden we come into this program, we start falling the people that are in front of us. We start doing these steps, we start doing personal inventory during the day when we're wrong, and at night we start at say where will we wrong? We read the Big Book. It's very clear in there. This is not an overnight matter. We continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear. We get on our knees at the end of the night. We said, what were any of these things? Do I owe someone in the mend's the the the big big book says that we don't go to bed angry. You wrong someone, call them right there. That's why, when we had that thing last week, I went to see you that night. Why I don't want you can't go to bed a we don't let sun go down on your anger. You under staying something. The enemy that wants you to drink and drug wants you to go to bed angry and have that fester in you and wake up in the morning nasty. You want his God's grace to be new every day. Hey, you got to follow some of his...

...principles. And if you're on your knees and and you realize you were selfish and dishonest and you owe some of the men's call him right there and don't text them, because texting is an air wave that can be misunderstood. You could said someone a text. It says I love you, and they said you back. What do you mean by that? Take your own damn inventory. WHO's your sponsor? God didn't create texting. You call them. They need to hear your voice. Hey, I want to let you know what happened earlier today. I'm sorry, I was too strong with you. I use the wrong language with you. Please forgive me. You know why that man is you know why they've been together all those years. forgiveness. Forgiveness is the key component in any relationship and and we have to ask for forgiveness. I'm not sure who one of you guys have to mute your microphones. You're chewing and we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. You're going to get to a place where you're not a member to be thinking about drinking. You're going to think you came here for drinking and you're going to realize there a whole year when by you to even think about drinking. And because I don't know what I'm going to see you again and I know I'm not going to see Richie's wife in the next three weeks probably, I want to leave you with this story. I know it's short tonight, for tonight was aboutmadon's in a nast to me and maybe I'm going to get more step ten intomar. Next people do step ten and eleven and I'll stay twitt step twelve and then and then, and then I won't be done here. But I want to share something with you that I heard from my sponsor and for years I didn't give him credit for but since he's here I have to. Yeah, some people come to alcoholics anonymous and they settle for sober. A lot of you, I can see in your faces and I see people in line, you're not settling for sober. Sober, as I said earlier, is a great byproduct of a relationship with God. But there are people that still believe that their whole job and their whole outlook and everything they want to...

...do is settle for sobriety. That's like going to a buffet where it has all the greatest foods you've ever wanted to try. Yes, lobster and crack crab and lamb and prime ram and everything you ever wanted, and you go and you start with your plate and you get your fork and your knife and you go to the crewtons of the salad part and you grab a crewton because it's food and you go back to your table and you're eating your crewton and you see other people. They got prime rap juice and they're just laughing and crack crab and stone crab is having a ball and and and they're on the same line. But they didn't settle for sober. They want to life beyond their wildest dreams. They believe that what they want to be rocketed to another dimension. They want to have that close personal relationship with the Creator. And and you know, you look back at the other guy that just well, another woman in there like eating and you go, how you doing? They go and hanging in there. Got The crutan. And I don't want to share something with you. You know I'm by the grace of God, I'll have twenty one years this year. And and and I say that because because it's a bona fide miracle for a crack addict like us, from where we're from, to have a relationship with God that we're not going to settle for the CRUTON. We're not okay with a crutan. We're going to go to meetings where they're talking about God. We're going to go to meetings where they're happy, Joyce and free we're going to go to places where people are hanging out and want to talk about being freedom and I'm not going to settle it from all the beautiful, incredible meetings across the world and across the country. I'm not going to crutan meetings because I don't want to be around Krutan people. I'll see you, guys, next week. I'm blish.

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