AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org
AA Speaker Recordings - Rocketed.org

Episode 103 · 4 months ago

Russell S. Talk 7 at the 12 Step House 02/08/2022

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Russell S. Talk 7 at the 12 Step House, Fort Lauderdale, FL. 02/08/2022

My name is Russell spats. I'm an alcoholic, so I'm a member of the sound takestea group. I haven't found that Shait of a drink since January twenty two, one thousand nine hundred and eighty one, and so I'm in my S. I'm deep into my forty two year by about three weeks or something, and I'm seventy two brady, four children sober and seven grandchildren and soon to be eight, and married for forty one years and most of the time selfsupvoting for my own contributions and it's good to be here. So I'm just going to share a little bit about myself and my experience, and I don't play any of this stuff, as you will shortly realize. I can't wait to hear what I have to say. To be incredible, I but I actually have something I'm thinking of saying that I don't really plan what I'm going to say, but I got an idea what I want to talk about and it's going to be about sobriety. It's going to be about the solution. I had a you know. You know, when I came in they said the newest person is the most important person. In the group right I believe that. I believe a new person, well, besides me, I think a new person is the most important person of the group. I think it's important. But I want to tell you something. I've been around in this Organization for over forty one years now and I want to let you know something, and what I'm telling you is the truth, based on my experience. All this is based on my experience and I have opinions based on my expense. But you know, it's like they say in those farmers commercials. We know a lot because we've seen a lot. You know I mean, after you've been around for a while, you you see people allowed to see im drink and see not drink. You see what's happens to yourself. You know, so you can sort of speak with authority about what this deal is all about and do in hindsight. You see a lot of stuff. Your story will change and and I'm going to tell you something, there are people in here in five years that are fixing on drinking. There are people in here with five years or three years or one year that are fixing on drinking. They're not going to necessarily drink tonight, but they're going to drink in six months. And guess what, they don't even know they're going to drink in six months, but they want to drink. There are people in here that have twenty years that are going to drink. There are people in here with fifteen years, a thirteen years or thirty years that are going to drink, not tonight but in a year or in six months. You're going to drink. I've been around long enough so that I've seen people pick up white chips who had eight years, seven years, twenty three years, thirty five years, eight months, twelve months, people who have gone to a lot of meetings, people have done the steps. I've seen that happen over and over again. As a matter of fact, and I can't prove this mathematically, more people drink and drug then stay sober. I heard once a statistic that I actually read and I threw away the article. I don't even know how they got this. You know some sort of sampling that only one half of one percent of the people that come in stay sober for more than twenty years. That's one in two hundred. Probably Bullshit right, but you start thinking about how many people you see picking up thirty year medillions or forty year medallions or twenty five year medillions. And how many people you hear about or talk about how they had eight years or nine years or six months, ten years and then they drank again? You think about how many people hear about...

...that in a a. You hear more about people drinking after a lengthy period of time. And really you hear about people staying so for twenty, thirty or four years, right, and you know he's been around for what, eighty years, eighty five years or something like that. You think you'd by be a lot of people walking around with forty years and thirty years sobriety. And so, even though I know the newcomers the most important person in the group, I don't really know that. We say that makes the newcomer feel good, you know what I mean? What about the guy with five years? is going to drink in six months? What about the guy who's got ten years? He's got a wife, a kid. He's going to drink and or do coke or od in about five months or so. What are they important? They're important. What you know, like a newcomer who's ready for this thing, and there's a lot of new comers that are not ready for this thing, and if they're not ready, they're not going to stay sober anyway. I mean, I want to make anybody feel bad, but if you're not ready, you're going to hear enough stuff in this you're going to hear enough stuff in Aa that you disagree with, that you don't want. You're getting have enough people telling you to do things you don't want to do. And since defiance is are chief characteristic, you're going to get to important time where you're not going to like these meetings. You're not going to want to have a sponsor. You're not going to like your sponsor. You're not going to like him telling you what to do. You're only going to, you know, go to one or two meetings a week and then you're going to peel off of those. You're not going to like a lot of stuff because you're not ready to stop drinking and you're going to drink anyway. and has nothing to do, you know, with what I said, what somebody said, or somebody said you in a meeting. That's just an excuse to drink. And there are other people that want this thing more than anything. Want want sobriety more than anything, and they're going to hear the same stuff you here and they're not going to drink. They're going to end up doing it and it's because that, even though they don't want to do it, they don't want to drink more than they want to do this stuff they're told to do. So I don't worry really about the new person. I mean, I know that sounds horrible, but what the heck you ought to think about? You want the things that sound horrible to you. You got to think about him for a little while. Maybe you know one day you'll have thirty, forty years and you'll say, I know what that guy's talking about. Because here's what I worry about. What happens when you have ten years sobriety, or twenty years sobriety, or five years sobriety and you're picking up all these medallions and you're not happy? What about the guy who's continually to go into meetings, sort of like you do jail time? You go to meetings because one you don't want to drink, because you don't want to drink, so you go to meetings, but you're really but the meanings are boring to you. For about the guy who goes to meetings. He's got five or ten years and he's not hearing anything that's helping him. He's here in the sea in his mind he's hearing the same thing over and over and over again, not necessarily bad stuff, but stuff he knows or believes he knows, but it's not solving his problem of having ten or fifteen years and he's lonely. It's not solving his problem because this problem isn't drinking. He's pretty much cure the drinking thing. The things he's picking up the medallion us. And isn't that what this is all about, joining the drink club? But you want to something? He doesn't like his life, he doesn't like his wife, he doesn't like she doesn't like her husband, he doesn't like being single, doesn't like the money situation, doesn't like the life situation and they continue go to a but they're not happy with this right at what about that guy? Where does he go to get the stuff he needs so that he's not going to drink? What happens to that? Because I've been that guy. I've been that guy and you may find that the reason that people...

...drink is because we all get to be that guy or Gal sometime during our sobriety. We all get to be that person we're not drinking and going to mean he's just ain't enough. We all got to be that person where not drinking, go to beings, even sponsoring people is not enough. We all got to that, get to be that guy in that Gal. We're doing everything. I'm doing everything in a a and it just s ain't enough in alcoholics. Anonymous, it says, the big book says envision for you. Here and there, once in a while a former drinking drinker being dried the moment says feel better, look better, having a better time, he said it says. We laugh at we laugh when we hear that. We laugh at such sally. We know he'll try the old game again because he's not happy with his Subri I soon he'll know loneliness, as if you do, will no lonelness. If you do, he'll be at the jumping off place. And they talk about the four horsemen. What about that guy? I think he's important too, but you know something, that message, the message for that guy, is not necessarily carried in a rooms. Now he's like a giant toolbox, is like a wrench to fit every nut that walks through the door. And I'm seventy two years old. That raised a bunch of kids. I've been through, you know, the wars, you know the vagaries of life, the cancer, the whole bit, and I've got more to go. I suppose haven't died yet. Haven't done that thing yet. It's probably coming up. You know, I think watched a lot of people I love died, a lot of sponsors died and a lot of watch people, a lot of disappoint a lot of stuff. The vague reason why that we all go through them. And so my story and who I am now and the story I tell now at rooms like this, it's not the story I would have told when I had five years sobriety. And, believe me, you know I'm a good if I do say so myself, I'm a good storyteller. I can I can weave yarn and I know I was doing conventions before I had ten years sobriety on the circuit. You know, a lot of guys know that and I still do them and you know. And so I tell a story and they're they're not bad stories, the good stories and they're all about drinking and not drinking. Sobriety and all sort of stuff. But I had a guy over at Lester's. You met at Lester's. In him he says, you know, I really like to hear the LEOs story. A lot of there's about a lot of people, probably some of this room, that I've listened to with some of the tapes and they have favorite stories. He said, I love the Leo Story. I said, Oh yeah, the Leo Story, and I haven't told that a long time. And he said Watch till Leo Story Tonight. I said, well, I don't know the Leo story will fit in. I said, but I understand. I mean I want to hear the Leo Story Because that's your story. And then I came in here and say I walked up to me. I may have been ricky, I don't even know, thirty five. Well, I don't with you or somebody else, whoever it was, says I wanted to I love that story. You tell about the milk and I looked at them and I said seriously, I said the milk said they had the milk story, man, the milk story. Tell the milk story. I haven't heard the milk story in a long time and I said I'm thinking, neither of I, you know, haven't heard the milk story a long time either, you know, and I'm trying to think of the milk story, the milk story and milk story, and then all of a sudden, Kim He's, Oh, the milk story. Oh that's yeah, that's a good story. It's about early sobriety. I said, it's a good story. You know, they'll probably come a time one day, and this were life,...

...that I'll probably tell that again, but I haven't told it in years. It's nothing wrong with it, it's just not my story anymore. It's not my story. Okay, I have a different story now and because what I what I really talk about now. There's nothing wrong with doing drunk a logs. I had a guy called me up from London, Guy Sponsor in London, and he said I have a little bit of a problem and he said what he said. Well, I've been getting this person's speakers, these incredible speakers, you know, he's got like thirty plus years and brings these incredible speakers in that talk to alcoholics in London on Zoom and everything like that, and he's I have this incredible story. Thank problem, I have this problem. I said, what's the problem? Of course, interesting or up when when alcoholics think they have problems, they really don't have a problem, they just think they have a problem. So I said what's problems? Says, well, the problem is is that I had these great speakers coming in and they're talking to everybody about solution. And I got a call from somebody says you're bringing all these great speakers and they tell about solution, but the new guys aren't identified with it. You need to bring people that talk more about, you know, like drunk a lots the problem. And they said, I don't know what to say, which I had. I got to find people that talk them. I said no, no, no, you do not do any of that. I said all you have to do is tell them this, because your problem is you don't know a lot of people that do that, do you know? Because the meetings you go to her bunch guys with twenty, thirty and what are your sobriety, and they just want to talk about the solution right, says yeah, so so just tell them this, say you. Your problem is is that the only people you know and you hang out with are people that talk about the solution. You don't hang out around with a lot of people that talk about getting drunk and not getting drunk and going and not that that is an important they are good drunk lots or reason for identification. I said, so just tell them you don't have a large contingent of people that talk about drinking. Most of them, you know, talk about staying sober. So just apologize to him and say you'll continue to supply them with people that are going to talk about the solution. But if they want people that talk only about the problem and then I drank and then I drank him, then I drank. There's plenty of those people around and they can find those people and they're all over the place. But you can't supply him. Can you do that? He says, yeah, I can do that. It's problem solved. So I don't talk about drunk a lots, except as they might pertain to emotional sobriety. You know that's I'm like a one, one trick pony, and but there's room for people like me. I think, an AA. I think you know that. Maybe not. You know, such a surprisse that common coming from you. Yeah, there are people in a that want to stay sober and are interested in staying sober, and there are people in a that just want a tension. You always have to recognize the children in a, the ones that just want attention, the class clowns, because I was a class clown there, but for the grace of God, go on. They make fun of everything. Serious people. The problem is is that they're here and sometimes what they do is they influence other people that don't know any better, and people can die in here if they don't get the rightness. So that's what I'm going to talk about to and I'm not going to tell Leo story, I don't think, or the milk story or the or the full just coffee story or the Camaro story or any of the other stories that have to do with alcoholism. They may be a time that I'll tell them, but I'm...

...going to talk a little bit about the problem. I'm going to talk and I'm going to talk a little bit about the solution to the problem and one of the problems in here that most people don't talk about because you know, I'm like a God died. And what happens is when you get to be seven, two years old and you've been through cancer twice and you raised three or four, four children and you got grandchildren. You're hid with all the bakeries of life and response to the people and you went through all this stuff where you got to a point where, even of all the stuff you are doing, you still got to a point where you had fifteen, twenty years and you weren't happy with your sobriety. And then you go through that when you get to get up there in years and every time you hear about somebody dying, get this. How would you like to be this deal? Every time you're about some of your daughter WHO's dying, they're younger than you. How would you feel if you got a call and you said, you know, Joe Donness is really hold was it? Oh it was sixty five. Thought of Harland. Oh He's fifty five. He was seventy and you so you get the pretty good understanding. I know you guys are in your s or s, maybe even S. I know you think they'll never die. I know you just looking to get laid. I understand that, okay, because I was forty years old and thirty years old and I know what you're thinking about, thinking about all the time. I talk a lot to men, mostly the men, because I'm I'm a man and I know men be married forty one when years. I have no idea what women are talking about or thinking about. I made the mistake when I first the reason I married forty one years is because for the first few years I made the mistake of trying to reason with my wife and then I realized that wouldn't work. So I just say yes, I mean, you're right, you know what I mean, and I threw away the reason thing. So I don't know much about women, but except I love and I think they're great, and I have three daughters. You know what, you have daughters and grand daughters. So it gives a whole new aspect to how you feel about women. You know, you look at a lemon's come something in this is man is like my daughter. There's like my grand party. You know, it's older from the deal. So I like to talk about things that they so the things I talked about it probably not things that are talked about much in a or at least if they're talked about, it all there talked about differently, like when I talk about God, I'll be this way, like I'm serious, I'm serious about it. It's like a serious thing to me. It's not like a throwaway, like a joke. I just toss it in. or I said, I go to HP. I don't call God HP. I don't care you want to call MES. I Call Him God. That's a Bill Wilson Colt called them, Lord called them God. The Wilson said the Lord has been so wonderful to me journey of this terrible disease. I want to keep talking about him and telling another people. As a matter of fact, you know when that statement is made. It's in alcoholics, anonymous number three, when bill dots and the man on the bed is telling his story and he says this. He's sober and he says, I knew there was something more. He was sober and he says I knew there was something more, something I hadn't got, a release, a something a person want to I want to have and I had no idea what the answer was. And he was looking for the answer. Like the guy would fifteen years. So the guy would ten years, the guy would five years. Who is doing a not drinking, but it's not enough. He's missing something and he runs into people in a a because this is what will happen to you. You will run into people in AA who were sober and you will say to yourself, I don't want what that guy has. You'll hear some guy pissing and moaning and complaining and joking and acting stupid and AA A, you know, I ten years, and you'll say and you'll look at it, you body accept, you might laugh, but you're saying but you're not following him, you're not asking him for help. And then you hear some guys look some guy you know because they're here, and you'll say, man, I wish I could be like that guy. You'll hear, sorry, I wish I could be like that guy, and you won't know, you won't have any idea how this guy would ten years and that guy with ten years is so different and that they both have ten years. Then you'll hear something about emotional...

...sobriety, but they're not drinking club or merely physically sober or resting on laurels, and you'll realize, and you'll hear something about a six step that separates the men from the boys. That is nothing with drinking. Has To do with just the type of sobriety you have and that the men are those that are repeatedly trying these things for a lifetime so they grow and the image and likeness of their creator. And you'll see. You'll see people that talk freely about God because they don't apologize for God, they don't have any prejudice against organized religion. They seem to there seemed centered, they're always in a good mood, they're enthusiastic their side, about their lives. They have thirty years. And then you'll see people that seem different than that and they still have the same amount of time. And you will get to decide, because the one thing you have a the great opportunity to is you get to make the decision with you want to, whether you want to have a life of fear or a life of hope, whether you want to grow up, you know, and leave the spiritual kindergarten, which is essentially a that broad highway where they dump everything in. Atheists, Agnostics, you know, bananas, crazy people, what are they're all they're all thrown into the hopper and they all go on that broad highway. But let me tell you something. As time goes on that road, I can tell you from personal experience gets narrower and narrower. It gets very, very narrow until the point where only one out of two hundred stay sober from the twenty years and are excited about their sobriety because there they've got was something called the joy of living. Somewhere buried in that thing and that big book, it talks about people that are being rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence, that are experiencing much of heaven, and it says the great fact is this and nothing less, that they have made God the centerpiece of their lives, that they are convinced that he lives in their heart and their mind in a way which is the miraculous doing for them, but they can't do with themselves. And they believe that Shit. They believe that God either is or he isn't. What is your decision going to made? They've made the decision for God. They're not ashamed of God, they're not embarrassed by God, because all men of faith have courage. They trust their God, they let him demonstrate their life what he could do. At once they begin to outgrow fear. And then you have other sober people who say things like well, I'm like talking got the God stuff so much. You know what I mean. It's not God isn't like a big thing. It's just something they have in their lives. Not put it down, but any big deal, you know what I mean. And they're living lives of fear and they're not happy and then not always smiling and they're not they don't say there Anaa. They're sober. It's matter. They don't like it when people talk about God. They feel uncomfortable. They feeling. There are people, believe it or not, in a a that when somebody talks about God, they're excited to say this is the Shit I'm here for. I want the message of weight and death. I don't want to not drink and go to meeting shit. I want the real deal, like the guy thoughts and said, and then he heard Bill Wilson say the Lord has been so wonderful to me trure me of this terrible disease I got to keep talking about and telling other people. And he said that's the golden text me that changed my life. Bill Wilson. He said he gave all credit to God. His whole life was wrapped around God. And then you see Dr Bomb. The guys who started this thing are founders who wrote the book, which they got by Franking from other people. The whole thing was pleasiarized from other people. There are following guys like father read Dolly and a Judguit peast and Sam Priest and Sam Shoemaker and the Oxford Movement and Dr Bob what, as he said, if you're an atheist, if you're an agnostic, if you have some sort of intellectual pride which comes from which stops you from understanding what we're really trying to tell you in this book, I feel sorry for you.

You're heavenly fond with a capital. Age will never let you down. These guys were not. These guys freely talked about God, freely talked about the Lord, freely talked about God, realizing that they were dealing with people, especially when the worst came in, that didn't like that, but they allowed him to come in. They brought any way in the hopes and the hopes they would grow the hell up and get serious and become like them, because they realize that, above everything, they must get rid of this selfishness. They mustart killed some and God would make that possible. And once they seriously decided to turn their life over the God seriously decided to do that. All sorts are remarkable things were going to happen. God would give him everything they need. If they stay close to him and performed his work well and they knew who God was and they knew what the work was, they would never confused. It was about loving and helping other people by telling them this message. And you have other people. They don't even know what the message is. They have no idea what the real messages as a matter of fact, they tell an opposite message. That sounds like a but it's a light. So let me read you. So unless send, until an alcoholic accepts his alcoholism and all its consequences, his sobriety will be precarious and true happiness will find none at all. There are consequences that disease of alcoholism. There are symptoms to disease of alcoholism. There are serious symptoms to the disease of alcoholism that most alcoholics don't know about and don't understand, because the only symptom they really understand is the drinking symptom, and that's but a symptom of the disease. The real disease sensors in our mind on our body and the reason we don't recognize what the real symptoms are is because we are shocked full of the symptoms since even before we drank. So let me tell you one of the real consequences of alcoholism. It's in the book, believe it or not, in the story chapter to the Agnostic Agnostics, and this is what it says. If a mere code of morals are better philosophy of life, let's let's talk about this, and there's nothing wrong with this, because I was into this for a period of time. We all go through the learning process. We all go you ever hear in the appendance to some people get by the educational variety. Ever here the term educational variety. That's let me tell you something. You're all being educated. Everybody Day is going through an educational process. It's an interesting process. It requires repeated humiliation to fund a question of our selfsufficiency. You're all being educated. Some are you. Some of you are going to be educated very, very well and you're going to do very, very well, and some of you as well, most of us. Let's face it. The reason why does it take the US as so long? Because most of us have to do a few grades over again. No, it's the truth. If you're an alcoholic, sometimes you have to go through the same class and the same great sometimes you got to repeat six years. I mean not that you drink again. You'll do the seven. You'll do the seven years. So I have seven years, but you're really repeating six years. You're repeating all the lessons from six year. You'll do eight years, but you're repeating all lessons from six years. You'll do ten years, but you're really repeating all the lessons from six years because you haven't really been properly educated. And you know why? You have been properly educated, because in order to be educated properly, you know you have to early abandon yourself to God. And you are being blocked because of something called intellectual pride. Let me explain to what intellectual pride here's you ever hear, because I uously hear this an a, you said. The Guy would say. They say this whole time. I don't know they say this anymore to newble.

Say when you have five years you'll hear this pop. They've ever heard that? They used to say that you hear this pop right Cholie. They said that's your aunt, your head coming out of your ass. Well, I'm going to tell you something. You're going to hear that pope ten years, you're going to hear that poppet fifteen years and you're going to hear that pop at twenty five years. If you make it, they're going to be pops all over place. We're all sudden. Holy Shit, why, why did it take me so long? They us. We're involved in the educational process and the process of being educated is getting US closer and closer. Like the eleven step says, to have a conscious contact with God and make him the number one thing in our lives. You know why I always talk about God? Think about this. This is now. This isn't fucking rocket science. The reason I always talk about God is because I'm involved in the educational process for forty one years. So don't blame me for this shit. Blame alcoholics, anonymous, because I've been through the educational process and you go through the egecal process, the only thing you're going to talk about is this stuff, because the Lord has been so wonderful you, to you during you of this disease and the other stuff that you got to keep talking about and telling other people. You have them to do the ECHECO process. You all. You want to talk about his drinking or not drinking. Well, you want to talk about is a drunk a lot? Well, you want to talk about his resentments or something like that. You don't want to talk about the other stuff because you don't know anything about the other stuff because you haven't been properly educated. Yeah, having got you got it, having skipped the grade, having you know. That's the bottom line. So here's what it says. Now, anybody ever heard the word good orderly direction? It's kind of Cute Geoh the good orderly directions like God, but really what it is is it's sort of like a it's like sort of like the Ten Commandments. Good orderly direction. Do the next right thing. I ever do the next one. You believe it? I just do the next right thing. Yeah, I just do good orderly direction. So let me read you what it says in Chapter Agnostics. I think guys are bright enough. You try to figure it out if a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life. Good on the directions to the next right thing sounds good. Right. It's like mother and Apple Pine were sufficient. It were sufficient to overcome alcoholism. Many of us would recovered long ago. You know, said when your mother says, why can't you be like your brother? Why can't you just stop? Why can't you just do that? But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish me moral we could wish to be philosophically comforted. In fact, we could will these things. We're all on light. But then needed power. Power was not there. Our human resources as marshal by the will. We're not sufficient. They failed US utterly. You don't have the power to stay sober for forty one years. You don't have the power to have thirty years sobriety and be excited about life. You don't have the power to be happy. You don't have the power to be excited about your life. What you have is you've stumbled upon a thing called a a which is allowing you not to drink and be unhappy and miserable and live a life of quiet desperation, thinking that you're doing okay. You're like the six stem says. You've settled, you're resting on your laurels, you know, and headed for trouble. Now, of course, I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about most people out there. I can tell this is really my more higher or spiritual group. Spiritual, not religious, you know. HMM. Lack of power. That was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a power greater than ourselves. Obviously, obviously, but we'reing. How we were going to find this power? where? You're going to find this power with a capital P this time? Well, that's exactly what this book is all about. See what people don't realize.

They read this book, but they don't read this book. They read this book, but they don't read this book. They read a book but they don't understand it, the carpenter said, so that those who have eyes to see see in years here they read a book at they don't understand what they're reading because they have them dug deep enough. Lack of power, that was our love. We had to find a power which we can live and we had to be a power greater in ourselves. Obviously, be wearing. How did we're going to find this power? Well, that's exactly what this book about. See, what I'm talking about is what this book is about. Is What this book is about. I'm not talking about this book is not about not drinking, because we're in alcoholic you will drink unless you find the power, it says. Hey, just telling New York to say some guy saying that finding the power is exactly what this book is all about, and you tell them, well, that's exactly what this book is about. Tell him to take that line out of the book, M because you don't like it. It's main object is to enable you to find a power with a capital P. That means divinity greater than yourselves, which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we leave to be spiritual as well as moral, and it means, of course, of course, that we are going to talk about God. Now listen this. Here's the next words, and you listen this, because I know you guys have read this, but you haven't really read it. Of You. You haven't read it like I'm reading it to you, like when you come up the influence as man. I like the way you said that. I said, we mean, I mean the way the way I read the book. He says, yeah, the way you read it, says, but it's the way you read it you know, it's like the way you read it. You know, Oh, okay, here's what they say. Next, here difficulty arises with agnostics. Here difficulty rises not even with antist with the knot with people say, well, I don't know, doubters. I'm not sure, really, I don't know. You know, here the difficulty arises with a nostis. Many times we talked to a new man, watch his hope rises, we discuss his alcoholic problem and explained our fellowship, but his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, especially when we mention God, especially when we mention God. One of the symptoms and one of the things that destroy alcoholics is the hate the concept of God. That's what you really know? You're dealing with an alcohol that is the disease. The disease is you're turning away from God. You don't get that, do you? You don't get why we have to do the third step and give our lives to God. You don't get why we have to do the eleven. The disease is believing in yourself and not turning and believing in God. You don't. You don't understand. You don't understand that you think it's to make you better and smarter and stronger, and either so that you can manage your own life. You're not. I don't know. I don't think. You may not be reading the book properly. You may not be understanding what they're really trying to tell you when they says no human power. Not You not. You're thinking only God could. You may not be getting this, but his face falls when we speak about spiritual matters, a special when we mention God, for we have reopened the subject which he doesn't really want to talk about. So here's the problem. You ever see every play the game? You ever heard of the game telephone? So let me tell you. Let me tell you how we'd tell if you haven't heard, most of you have heard of those kids is is i. We take everybody in this room and we line them up and in a line and I go up to rick over there everything and I wish the whisper in his ear God is the power or something, I don't know, something from the Big One, and...

...then he whispers to next person God is the power, and we go through all the whole thing and we get to the other end and says it gets the last person. The person says God is up in Anna. Somehow it changes a person. Either he has the wrong or here's it or doesn't like there, or change it and it changes. So we got this fellowship and we got this big book written Nineteen Thirty Nine, and the big book says rarely I've seen a person failed who has thoroughly followed our path and talked about good old Thomas. It says the books we found absolutely essential. We're first commitians thirteen, sermon on the mound, and the book a change and it says we lose all prejudice, even against thermalized religion. As me back, we encourage church membership. It says most of US belong to that deal. You understand what I'm saying. And there is one who has all power. That one is God, and we never apologized for God. You now knew bad and it says all this stuff. That's what you're going to be educated in. You understand what I'm saying. That's what it says. And that was written in nineteen thirty nine and they basically were talking about what they did between nineteen thirty five and nineteen thirty nine when they wrote the book. And by the way, the only book they used back then was the Bible. They didn't use the big book because it wasn't written then. Okay. And so we have this, you, huge line of people, millions and me a millions, of alcoholics. And they start off from nineteen thirty five and as far as I can see, there's this line of alcoholics through nineteen thirty six, thirty seven, thirty eight, thirty nine, the year nineteen hundred, you know, nineteen fifty through nineteen sixty to nineteen seventy, through nineteen eighty, nineteen ninety to two thousand two thousand and ten, two thousand and twenty alcoholics. And the message is passed around from person to person to person. And so I got a call from that same guy, you know, in London. He said you wouldn't believe what happened. I went till meeting and you know, they say, you know how at the end of the thing they say there was one that has all power, that one is God. They took that out and they put it there is one that has all power, that one is high, your higher power. They took out the word God and he was like upset about it and I said, well, listen, I'm not surprised. Have you ever played the game telephone? You're just listening to the last man. They're listening to last man, and most of us, and alcoholics anonymous, know most New People are getting their theology or getting their Aa from the last guy, from the last guy, the guy who's saying who, the guy who is actually expressing most of the disease. The guy was telling everybody, don't talk about God, you'll scare away the newcomer, don't talk about God, you know, you make people uncomfortable. Don't talk about the real program. You're hurting other people and making you feel guilty for it and leaving the real program in the dust. And let me tell you something. There are bazillion guys talking about that and saying that, and you want to some believing that, leaving their right because they saw a newcomer. You're the word God. And he walked out the room and he said, and then I worried about the guy with five years, he's about the drink, you know, worried about the guy with ten years, is about the drink. Then id even worried about the newcomer who's about the drinks, because all is hearing about is not drinking, go to meetings. He's not hearing about it. He's not hearing about the programs recovery and you have, as you have, a group of people that nobody's doing the program recovery, the real deal, the real program except the very few. Nobody's...

...being rocket and a lot of people are sober, but nobody's been rocketed into the fourth dimension of existence. You know, nobody's been in because they're fighting the education, the fighting the deal. And so I go on these meetings. The Meanings I go on are mostly people that have been honest with you. Have Twenty, thirty and forty years and fifty years and all they talk about as a solution. I know Maddy knows what I'm talking about. He goes those things. I know Paul goes those meetings. And Listen, I love newcomers. I'll help a new come. We got new comers on those meetings. You know what happens when the newcomers go to meetings with guys with thirty, forty years that are not scared to talk about God? Within three months they sound like they have ten years. You can you'd be amazed at what happens to a newcome. We've seen it on the zoom thing that come and they've never beenne anything except looming about three or four and all they do is hanging out with guys that thirty and forty years talking about God and talking about that. And six months you think you're talking about you. They start talking, you think the guy has ten years. Then I'm talking about there. So far. I go to meetings worth guys that have twenty three years sobriety talk about how their life has changed, changed because they finally heard this message about God and the hackles on the neck were in standing up and they hung around men that would talk about God and they felt permission to talk about God and ask questions. I go to means where Gout with thirty five years has said my whole life changed because I went to meetings with the talking about God and I didn't want to listen at first, you know. And sometimes they say I used to hate that stuff and now it's changed my life. And they're excited and they're not only not drinking going to means, they're not drinking going to means and they're enthusiastic. They're never going, they're not going to drink in a way they're there too. They're having too much fun at thirty five years, at twenty three years, at fifteen years, because it's not about not drink and it's about the joy of living. So I guess you got to ask yourself, do you want to belong to the not drinking club? Do you want to belong to the joy of living club? You know, that's basically what you have to ultimately make a decision about. You know whether you want to just go through lie, you want us to do the treading water thing where you're not drinking, not drinking, or you want to go to get involved in a situation where you feel like you're being rocked in the fourth dimension of existence, experiencing much of heaven and not being anxious for anything. It's your life. It's not address rehearsal. I'm not here really the convention of anything. You don't you know why. I'm not really not here to convince you of anything. I don't know who's going to get it, who's not on it. I'm even shocked the most people. I don't even shocked that I got it. You know what I mean. I'm the last guy. I mean, listen, I I'm allounge. Listen, I hunt around her. I go out every night looking for her, you know what I mean, to nail somebody or gets. I am like the I am the most unlikely person to be talking about this stuff at forty one years ever you could possibly imagine. You know what I mean. I'm not here to sell this thing that you know what I'm doing, because I'm doing with Bill Wilson, to because God has been so great to me that I got to keep talking about them, telling other people and I have the ability to do it and hit get this. The reasonct the ability do it is because as I started doing it, when I got to the point in my life where I could do it, I lost fear of other people, other people's judging. I don't judge myself or walk out of room saying I wonder what they think about me. You know what I mean? I don't because I have a guy and I know who my God is. I know what he wants me to do and I just I'm if I'm concerned at all, I'm just considered that I tell the message that he wants me to tell you. And I'll tell you something. I've had very, very few people come up to me and say I don't want to hear that message. You know what I mean. They come up to me and they say things like man,...

I wish I heard that message more often. Then why don't I hear that message? This is the only person I hear that message. So apparently there are a few people. I remember one guy came up to me and says my sponsor sensual good speaker, but you talk too much about too much about God. I would be on my tombs done. You talk too much, too much about God, and that's his sponsor told him that his sponsor, the last man on the telephone thing, is telling them that there's something wrong with me because I focus on God. The exact opposite of what the big buck says. You understand what I'm saying. He's telling he's getting that from the sponsor. He'll believe that. He'll tell another guy that. And he says you talk so much about God. I said, well, I guess if people don't like it, they'll stop asking me to talk to meetings. I guess they'll stop asking the talk of meetings. I haven't had a week or so where I'm not doing like one or two steps are I'm going somewhere because people want to hear this man. They want to hear this message. This is the message. They want to hear, the message that Guy's the back are rolling their eyes at and saying, Oh man, if they talk to me about God. They want to hear this message. The guy would fifteen years who's not happy with his sobriety and wants though. Is there anything else? Is that all there is? He wants to hear this message. He needs to hear this message. The Guy with twenty five years needs to hear that there's something more than the not drinking club. There's something more than the not drinking but there's something more than just don't drink and go to leadings. So thank you very much.

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